Friday, October 13, 2006

FILLE SANS COLLERETTE

One of my blogger friends suggested that after this post i should probably start an organization called "Fille Sans Collerette" which means girls without frills in French..

I have always felt that God has been very unfair in creating only two sexes..He should have made four..namely girls,girlswf(girls without frills),boys and boyswf..

Now i m not sure if there are many takers for the boyswf category but i m sure the girlswf category will become popular..

So me with the help of my blogger friend and a couple of other girlswf decided that we would start an organisation called FSC(fille sans collerette)...girlswf sounds extremely unsophisticated felt a few committe members

Well here i will lay down a few rules for the girlwf category

WARNING: Any girl who joins this community for fun or thinks that this is not serious stuff please stay away..we are very serious about our principles..:P:P..

1. Thou shalt consider only books pens watches and showpieces as good giifts...anything else like soft toys, flowers, earrings, jewels, chains, make up stuff, nailpolish etc should be looked down upon

2. Thou shalt pay attention ONLY to comfort...if u r comfortable in heels then fine but if u wear heels which break ur back and kill ur feet then kindly stay out..this community is obviously not for u.

2a. same goes for clothes too..jeans, salwars,skirts etc... anything is allowed as long as u are comfortable in it..the minute u start wondering if the right amount of skin is being shown, if the color of the fabric matches ur eyes etc kindly inform the chairman of FSC and ur membership with FSC will be terminated with no hard feelings

3. Thou shalt not sigh and gasp when u see john abraham take his shirt off or sqeal with ecstasy when u see a trouser clad homo sapien zoom past u in a pulsar..

P.S errr..exceptions can be made in movies like kaal and dhoom where NOT ogling at john abraham will be considered criminal ;);)

4. Thou shalt consider it a sin to do things like coloring ur hair, spiking it up etc...hair should either be suspended in a pony tail or neatly braided..any innovations like beads in hair, streaking trying out step cut etc and ur existence in the organisation will be considered detrimental to the prosperity of the organisation..

5.Shopping will merely be a need to do activity..thou shalt go and shop only when
a) u have no clothes to wear
b) ur family insists on u buying something for ur sister/brother's wedding etc(i still think jeans and t-shirts can be made legal to wear in weddings)
c) and festival times when u really dont have a choice..

Even better u can ask ur elder siblings(even younger will do), parents etc to do ur shopping while u sit in the comfort of ur homes and watch TV...

6. Thou shalt not expect any kind of help from the opposite sex and shalt not be dependent on them for opening doors, carrying shopping(if u r a part of the community this probability obviously does not arise), as means of conveyance etc...

7. Thou shalt dress up to look presentable and smart and NOT to attract the opposit sex..

8. Thou shalt speak up for ur rights in colleges, workplaces where u r discriminated against just beacuse u are a girl..thou shalt not remain silent..

We do not have many rules, but we are extremely strict about the rules which we have laid down..If u think u r qualified enough just drop in a comment in the comment box and ur application shall be considered..:):)

And one more thing..if u think we should include any more rules..please mention them to in the comment box..Ur co-operation is appreciated!!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Boring Boring Boring thought twelve yr old Salma...She would rather have sat in her math class...but now all the kids from class four to class twelve were being made to attend some lectures by some NGO...she had already attended many of these lectures on saving the environment, cleaning the city campaigns etc and they were so boring that she would have happily attended those speed math classes which she hated. But these lectures were forced on them. They would be made to sit on the ground under the hot sun. Well whatever. Now that she had come to school she just couldn’t avoid it. She decided she would sit in the last row and have fun with naina...the lecture started at eleven sharp and was conducted by a lady in a red saree..

"Children" she began "today I m going to deal with something really important and it is very important for u to know about this"...
Yeah right!! Thought salma...that’s what they all said...but a tiny voice inside her told her to listen to this lady...

Two hours later the lecture got over and Salma decided she just could not do it. How could she?? How could she tell her mom something which she knew her mom would obviously not believe? But she felt disgusted and used. She had to tell someone about it and preferably a woman the lady had said. Her own sister whom she was extremely close to was away at college and this wasn’t something salma wanted to discuss over phone. Salma closed her eyes tightly as if trying to shut away the memory but the more she tried the harder the tears flowed down her cheeks. Her own uncle...My God!! How could he. She had trusted Ahmed mama so much.he was so much fun, bought her so many goodies and she had loved him so much.he used to make her laugh by tickling her and playing games with her. It was only when she was seven that she began to feel uncomfortable around him. He touched her in ways which made her squirm. But she had brushed those apart. After all it was Ahmed mama. He definitely wouldn’t do anything that would make her feel uncomfortable. But she started to maintain her distance. It was only after the lecture in school that she realized that those advances by Ahmed mama were really serious. What was it that the kind aunty in a red saree who had come from that NGO in the city to deliver the lecture had called such men?? Pedophile!! Yes that was it...ahmed mama was a pedophile and she was a victim of child abuse...she had not clearly understood the lecture but apparently there were certain ppl who derived pleasure by touching small kids(both boys and girls the lady had said) in ways that made the children feel disgusted and uncomfortable. They preferred small children because kids did not exactly know what was happening and were the most submissive. And the most shocking thing was that in most of the cases children are abused by people whom they trust. In some cases even their own daddies salma had learnt...her mind was in turmoil...she had to tell someone about it. But how could she tell ammi that her own brother was a padeophile?ahmed mama was coming today and the very thought of having to face him with a smile on her face sent shivers down her spine and she was filled with repulsion towards him..

No Salma decided. She would not suffer anymore. She had had enough. Today she would tell ammi...Determined she got up washed her face and walked into ammi’s room…

The above story is a true story with names changed for obvious reasons. Child abuse is a very very serious issue in the world today. And the most shocking part is that the majority (78%) of maltreated children were maltreated by their birth parents. Birth parents were responsible for 62% of the abuse cases and 91% of the neglect cases. Some children are even abused by both parents...lets all unite and fight against child abuse…please light a candle here… I don't know if it will really help but we can try and do our bit…

Thanks

Friday, October 06, 2006

Death of Hindi

I just have to blog about the attempts(futile of course) of a friend of mine to speak Hindi...this blog will probably only be appreciated by people who know a decent level of Hindi and Tamil. having been exposed to the right mix of north (15 yrs) and south (5 yrs) I can manage both Hindi and Tamil quite well and one of my favorite pastimes is to tease ppl who murder(read strangle,stab,poison) Hindi Tamil etc..i do not disclose the name of my friend for the sole reason that she threatened to strangle me the way she strangled Hindi(and oh boy I sure don’t want to die such a cruel death)..I will just call her S for now :):)...

it all began on a day when S suddenly decided that she was going to practice speaking Hindi...the conversation went something like this..

S : hey I feel very inferior to u guys man..Ok from today I m going to make a serious attempt to talk in Hindi...Hey wait I will translate that into Hindi...

today se mein Hindi par baat kar

Now let me explain as to why she made this mistake. In Tamil sometimes the same word 'lu' is used for both on and in. so on the table would be table lu and in Hindi would also be Hindi lu...

so S decided that Hindi also used the same par for both...

after we explained this nuance of Hindi to her she said, “ok ok wait I will try to translate ,the fishes are swimming in water

majliyon(spelling mistake intended. all spelling mistakes from now on intended ;)) paani par "thayirthi" hai...

god S sure had us in splits that day...

S was multitasking that day. she was trying to err...um master Hindi and also putting some mehendi on her hands. and she wanted to say "I put mehendi really well" which in Hindi became

"mein mehendi ajji tarah put karti hoon”

poor S...she just dint know the word for put in Hindi...

at this point I just couldn’t take it anymore and told her that I was surely going to blog about this
for that S got tensed and said

"tum ISS vishayathu par blog karna chakthi ho???kripaaaa kar aur blog mein exaggerate mat karna"..

Justifiably we were all laughing like crazy and S said

"mujhe rothi hoon...tu all boori log hai...ek ladki Hindi baat karne ko mushkil karthi to tu log uss par hass??"

roughly translated as "I m going to cry...u guys are really bad...if a girl attempts to talk in Hindi u will laugh at her eh??"

probably she realized that the sentence was not something that premchand would approve of so she asked us

"Hindi par "tum all" eppidi solluvanga"???

translated as "how do u say everyone in Hindi??"

we told her that the word for everyone was "tum sab log" and she dint get it so she said

"maafi..ek aur bar aao aao"..


which meant “sorry..?come again"..LOL!!!:D:D

and the best part is still to come..
apparently S has finished all levels of Hindi(prathmik,praveshika,rashtrabasha etc...) and was felicitated with a shawl for proficiency in Hindi in class 6!!!
and the last level had a viva round in which she had to talk in Hindi with the examiner and the examiner was so impressed(???) with her Hindi "speaking skills" that he gave her 75/100 for viva..

No..i don't want to hear any comments about the Indian Eduacation System not being upto mark!! ; ) ; )

Thursday, October 05, 2006

The phrase anally retentive professors no longer remains a literal expression, after a very exasperated proffesor said in class,

"What is this noise coming from the backside of me??i dont like it"

LOL!! I have finished laughing..its ur turn now

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

SCHINDLER'S LIST

I watched Schindlers List today(yet again..this is the fifth time i am watching tht movie)..and i cried yet again..it is amazing how that movie makes me cry each and everytime i watch it..just for the record let me tell u that i NEVER EVER cry for movies..but somewhere in the middle of Schindlers List u forget that it is a movie and not real life..the characters are so real and so convincing u just cant stop the tears..Especially the last scene when Schindler points to his car and says "Ten more i could have got ten more for this car..why did i keep it"..He points to his Nazi pin and says "two more..this pin is gold..i could have got two more for this pin"...thats when i started bawling..uptil then i was just shedding tears..but that scene was just the limit..

I wonder how Steven Spielberg does it..i wonder where he gets the characters for his movie from..i mean each and every character in that movie was just made for that role..even the very small parts like the little girl,Danka Dresner or the little buy Olek leave an impression on u..i could just watch that movie ten more times and still have an appetite for it..u want to strangle Amon Goeth(ralph fiennes) when he metes out atrocities on the Jews, u want to shield the rabbi from the guns of the SS officers when they attempt to shoot him for not making enough hinges, u want to kiss Schindler when he gives his workers the weekend off and u want to hug Izhtak Stern when he gives Schindler the gold ring made by the workers.

Now that, is what i call a movie!!!
Namratha's birthaday on Saturday...went to Sathyam to watch a movie..but all the shows were booked till monday..we were kind of diappointed..but that dint dampen our spirits..went to spencers. got some gift for her and then went to planet yumm...ate like we had never seen food..intake of some really sinful calories in the form of cake,pizza,noodles and how can i forget the absolutely sexy chocolate from the chocolate fountain...sigh!!a whole week of working out in the gym doown the drain..why are the best things in life are either fattening or not available??who cares..:):)we did our level best to empty namratha's pockets..we almost succeeded..almost..left her enough money for bus fare home..so on the whole a productive day..went home and slept for 12 hours straight and geared up for mock CAT the next day..i stop my post right here..I dont want to talk about how i did my mock CAT!!