Monday, December 31, 2007
So here I go. Here are a couple of resolutions which I am making and which I hope I keep.
1.I am going to practice being nice. Nice to everyone I know, don’t know, like, dislike, everyone. I will also try to be the same person that I am with my friends to my family. In short I will try to get rid of my hyde personality!!
2.I am going to start writing accounts. For those who know about my “account writing” skills quit laughing. I am serious. I started writing accounts in my first year of engineering and I have successfully managed to fill up 5 pages of accounts for 5 years. I am pathetic with accounts. I just cannot manage money. The minute I have some money on my hands I spend and 2 days after I have spent it I don’t remember what I did with it. So I am going to write accounts sincerely now.
3.I am going to do more of what I like this year. I hope I get lots of opportunities.
4.I am going to read more books. The past year I would have hardly read some 7-8 books (only 3 good books in that) and this year I am going to take some time out and do some quality reading.
2007 has been a good year on the whole for me. Coming to think of it all 21 years of my life have been good. But 2007 was different. A lot of new things have happened in my life. The best moments of each month would be:
Jan 2007: the unforgettable final year tour. Wow!! Is it already an year?? Unbelievable!! Seems like yesterday. Last year this time I was in kulu manali celebrating my new year in sub zero temperatures and this year I am sitting in front of a computer doing java coding.
I also remember writing THIS post last january. Since the number of relatives reading my blog has gone up I would like you guys to read it again. Nothing much has changed in the past one year!! ;)
Feb 2007: the singles party on Feb 14th!! The last and best singles party of college life. Amazing fun we guys had celebrating our singledom. (MS-Word says there is no word like that but u know what I mean). We have already started planning for this years singles party. Its scary. Out of the 6 ppl who were are at the singles party last year 2 are getting married. The singles in our group are becoming extinct. :(
Mar 2007: The college culturals. The last one yet again. Mind blowing fun. Shit man!!! I so wish I could go back to college now. All those night outs before the culturals, those petty fights over money, petty fights with the boys, petty fights over almost everything. Sigh!!! Instincts 2007 was just so great.
Apr 2007: Successful completion of our final year project. Phew!! How much we struggled to convince everyone that our project would actually work and ultimately we got stuck with an external who was just not interested in our project.
May 2007: leaving college. Leaving a place which was a part of me for 4 years. Leaving friends, leaving hostel, leaving a carefree and joyful existence. I cried so much that if all my tears had been desalinated Chennai’s water problem would have been solved.
Jun 2007: joining Cognizant. And more importantly joining the cognizant internal blogging network. A move which I don’t think I will ever regret. Have met some amazing people, made some great friends and if I can say so myself have grown as a writer. After joining cognizant I think it is one of the best things to have happened to me.
Jul-Aug 2007: Training. I would be lying completely if I said training was hectic. Training was awesome and rightly called as the honeymoon period of an IT professionals life. Trying to be professionals in an IT company. A very different experience indeed.
Sep-Nov 2007: moving in to a new accommodation. Lots of adjusting, lots of fighting, lots of compromises, lots of fun.
Dec 2007: Assassination of Benazir Bhutto. (Did u notice that?? Someone once complained that I don’t write about current affairs and things that matter. Did u notice what an absolutely valuable piece of information I have provided??). Anyway yesterday the first Cognizant bloggers meet happened. It was amazing fun. It is good to meet people whose writings u admire. Helps u relate more to the writer I feel. And the year ended on an extremely happy note for me when a very nice man told me that if ever he had a daughter he would want her to be just like me!! I have never been this thrilled and happy about anything before. Thanks a lot Mr. nice man though for ur sake I hope ur daughter is nothing like me!!! I shudder to think of the havoc a replica of me would wreak. :)
It’s the year end and I am in a really happy, sappy mood. I hope this euphoria lasts throughout 2008!!
Wish all of you a very very Happy and Prosperous New Year!! :)
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Me: Errr. My account has been locked
She: just a minute ma’am I ll unlock it
Me: my associate id is…
She: yes I know ma’am. Associate id is 123456 and DOJ is blah blah. you called an hour back
Me: Errrr. Yes!!
Well anyway. So when orkut told me that I had typed the wrong password 2 times I didn’t bother. But after trying five times (the fifth time I typed my password in word and copy pasted it) I began to have my fears. The first thought which crossed my mind was "Oh my god. Someone has hacked my account. Soon they will misuse my profile and my photograph will start appearing on "ahem-aaahh-cough-cough" sites." Now I use my yahoo account to log in to my orkut and my google account for blogger and gmail. Then I tried logging on to my gmail and I found a mail from google telling me that my yahoo account was no longer active and that I would have to use my google account for everything and if my blogger/orkut was still using yahoo I would lose all my details!!! :(
So now i cant access my orkut account of three years, i cant edit anything in my profile, i cant accept testimonials and the whole process of creating a new account, re constructing a friend list of 289 friends seems like a very tiring job to do. if this had happened an year back i think i would have probably committed suicide. seriously i was completely ADDICTED to orkut. my day would be incomplete if i didnt log on to orkut, scrap a few useless people, write testimonials for a few friends. if by chance i didnt log on to orkut i wuld think about orkut the whole day. it was like dope. i couldnt live without it. but now an year later i dont feel a thing. i have lost my account and i just dont feel like creating a new account, renewing my contacts etc. i think right now i am more addcited to blogger than to orkut. i am so glad that i didnt lose my blogger account. Anyway so if u know/knew me on orkut and have scrapped me and are angry coz i havent replied u know the reason now. if ever i decide to create a new account i will let u know!! :)
Friday, December 21, 2007
The bathroom in our house is a really interesting place!! On entering there is a shelf which at any given point of time has 5 shampoos all at different stages of their lives. Some are new to the surroundings and some are just breathing their last breath. Its funny. My mom uses some herbal shampoo, my dad (who errr…doesnt have much hair left on his head) fears that after using the herbal shampoo his hair might start growing(i tease him saying that hair growing on his head would be like rice growing in the Sahara but he doesn’t listen) so he uses clinic plus, and then we also have sunsilk (for the guests mom says), my sister (when she visits) uses some shampoo whose name eludes me (honestly speaking I cant even pronounce it) and I use a little bit of all. I love experiments. I put a little bit of herbal+clinic plus+sunsilk+$%^*$ and put it on my head (which probably explains why I have lesser hair than my dad and whatever is remaining smells funny (read: smells like a pigsty)). All the persuasion from my side to reduce all of it to one bottle always falls on deaf ears
Anyway coming to soaps next. In the soap dish in my house you will find a green color soap, on whose back is piggy backed a pink color soap on whose back is a white color soap and so on. If u don’t know what I am talking about then obviously there is no one like my dad at ur house!! my dad believes that scraps of soaps should be preserved so that they can be joined along with the new soap thus forming two soaps. when asked why he cant throw the scraps of soap the gandhian inside my father surfaces and he says “there are children in Somalia who don’t get even a bucket of water a day let alone a piece of soap. you should consider urself blessed. never waste stuff when there are million out there in this world who have never seen it”.
and experience tells me that the minute the gandhian in my dad awakens the sarcasm in me must die and I must keep quiet. same is the case with toothpastes. my dad is never satisfied till he has squeezed the last drop of life out of the poor tube of toothpaste!!
This time I have to face both amma and appa and two box cot’s full of junk (for people who are wondering what a box cot is it is a cot whose lower half aint empty. it is shaped like a box so u can keep stuff in it)
apart from this there is a cupboard full of useless papers
from the box cot I retrieve close to 25 unused dupattas
me: amma!! so many unused dupattas.i don’t care what u say. I am throwing these away. we don’t use even one of these now
amma: don’t be silly. I have been saving it for the winter months. when it gets really cold I can make a rajaai out of all these dupattas.
(she has been saying this for the past 4 yrs since we shifted to this house and come November we always buy a rajaai for the harsh winter, the dupattas forgotten )
next I discover a carton full of diaries dated from 1978 to 1996 most of them empty and some of them have my mothers neat handwriting on it describing in detail how she spent the princely amount of rs 1000(my dad’s salary in 1982) and how much of it she saved
(I cannot imagine how a couple could have lived in such abject poverty and my mother tells me that every month they used to send Rs 200 to each of my grandparents!! )
me: these moth eaten, rat bitten, infection carrying diaries!! do u need these??
amma: yes of course. good that u found these. I have been wanting to show u how wisely appa and I used to spend money and how neatly we maintained accounts. you children nowadays get a king’s salary you don’t save, you don’t invest, just spend spend spend!! tch tch. come here. see look at the entry for November 1983. that is the only time we used to get clothes for diwali. we saved every pie we could and that is the reason we have been able to give u such good education (next comes a long rigmarole about how my children will suffer if I don’t save or have a SIP-whatever that means. (I try telling her that the minute they become my children their suffering starts but refrain from saying so))
anyway the bottom line is I do not take the topic of the diaries again
next we move to the cupboard (I throw one piece of rag from the box cot after dusting and cleaning it for an hour!!)
I pick up around 10 kgs (no kidding) of appa’s official papers and proceed to throw them.
Appa stops me and the gandhian in him surfaces again.
Appa: are those papers printed on both sides or one side??
Me (after checking): hmmm…one side
Appa: so many bundles of paper with only one side written. How can u have the heart to throw them? It is because of people like u that half the trees in the Amazon forest are being cut down and things like global warming have become a reality.
Me: DUH!!! Sorry pa. Wont throw these. Will use it to write something!!
Anyway after cleaning three bedrooms and bathrooms I threw out a small polythene bag of stuff. What is most irritating is that over the period of 20 years my parents have thrown out my entire stamp collection (by mistake my mom still swears). my interest in philately has died since then, 12-13 posters of mine which I had painstakingly cut out of sports star every month, 287 éclairs wrappers that I had collected (don’t ask me why I did it!! I am weird. but I loved to look at those éclairs wrappers now and then and was damn proud of my collection) my entire box of paints, a pair of jeans-my favorite (those are the clothes u wear??? if u wear it out and go people might think we don’t provide for u or something!! was my mom’s argument) and so many other things which I loved and preserved!!
Anyway after that round of spring cleaning I took a vow never to assist my parents in this maddening hobby of theirs and so this is the concluding part of this series (do i hear a sigh of relief?? )!!
Monday, December 17, 2007
1. The more I visit Bangalore the more I feel glad that I live in Chennai. I m not very fond of Bangalore (Sorry to hurt pro-bangaloreans but this is just my opinion). Some of the things about Bangalore which I will never get used to are
Traffic: the traffic in bangalore is a killer. A mere 7 kms will take you one and half hours. Its maddening to waste 2 hours in the traffic doing nothing but waiting at signals and waiting and waiting and waiting for an absolution that never seems to come!! :-\
Transportation: the Bangalore government should be kicked in all the wrong places for running buses which have numbers in kannada, number plates in kannada, the place names in kannada and bus drivers who speak nothing but kannada and have this inexplicable hatred for Tamils. U can’t go anywhere in public transportation in Bangalore unless you know kannada or know someone who knows the city well.
Weather: I am sure 99.99% of the people will disagree with me on this but I hate the Bangalore weather. I cant stand cold places. I hate being bundled up in woolens. I love the tropical climate of Chennai and the nippy Bangalore weather gets on my nerves
2.Old age is a sad sad sad thing. The more I look at old people the more I wish I die at the age of 50. It is scary to visit a relative who just a few months back weighed close to 60 kgs and now weighs less than half the original. It is even scarier when u bid her goodbye and realize that this is probably the last time you will ever see her. I wish they would find a cure for cancer.
3.The more I see cousins and relatives from the US the more I am convinced that I never want to visit the US and never want to leave India. I made this decision in my final year when everyone I knew was writing GRE to do their masters in some university in the US. I was just not interested. The very thought of leaving my parents and sister and grandmother scares the shit out of me and more importantly I never want a day to come when I will have to address the friendly neighborhood mosquito as a “bug”.
4.the hot chocolate which is available at the Bangalore city station coffee day sucks big time. Its just a spoon of drinking chocolate in plain hot water. Not even milk or milk powder. So if u are feeling cold in the night and happen to be at the Bangalore city station u know what not to have.
5.I have decided that if ever I have enough money I think I will buy a motorbike and ride it at a speed of 90 kmph on ECR. When sitting behind on a bike can be so much fun I cant even begin to imagine what fun it would be to actually ride one. A bike displaces the i-pod on my list of things to buy with my salary. I can ride a bike fairly decently, the only disadvantage being my height. My legs don’t reach the ground!! :(
6.Finally I had ice cream at the much hyped corner house in bangalore. Had this flavour called death by chocolate and for the past 48 hours since I had that I have been feeling guilty. Ok!! I will be honest. I hogged on the death by chocolate like a kid from Somalia who hadn’t seen food for 15 years but I wonder why all good things in life are fattening!! :(. criminal intake of calories but the ice cream was worth it!!
7.I have a problem with showing affection. When I am with a person who is close to me I act all cool and aloof and don an I couldn’t care less attitude and then later after the person is gone I sit for hours wondering why I was such a bitch. Sigh!! I am so confused.
8.I learned that it is not a very great idea to share your radical views on marriage with anyone above the age of 40. Have discovered that it is FATAL to tell them that you would rather have a dog than marry and have a husband. Warning: Never try this with ur relatives. U will get a specific marriage oriented lecture for an hour, then a general lecture about children today for another hour.
9.I love Chennai. The happiness that shedding sweaters and the warm weather give me is enough to make me live in Chennai all my life. There doesn’t exist another city which has as much life in it as Chennai does!!
10. I love the way Somerset Maugham writes. was reading a collection of short stories written by him on my way to bangalore in shatabdi (sad train!!) and back and i completely fell in love with some stories. have decided to do more quality reading from now on. should buy another collection of short stories by maugham!!
Monday, December 10, 2007
Till date I have broken 3 of my fathers spectacles (two by sitting on them and one by dropping them), broken 2 watches ( banged my mothers watch against a wall and my own watch broke when I fell from my vehicle), lost 3 pairs of gold earrings, broken a couple of plates and glasses at my sisters place (god bless the person who invented stainless steel. I cant even begin to imagine the havoc I would have wreaked had all cutlery been in porcelain and glass. My parents would have given me food in aluminium plates like they give doggies. Ewwwww!!). my grand mother tells me that instead of going oops, ayyayo, Sh*t, damn,(I will not mention the other words I use for obvious reasons) if I went rama, krishna the number of times I broke innumerable, countless things I would at least have attained moksha for all that punyam. Sarcastic grand mother u say and I totally agree with you. On a more serious note it is tough having a walking disaster like me in the house. My sister tells me I should enter her kitchen with a helmet and gloves if I have to avoid banging my head on the doors and cutting my hands with a knife. My mom and grandmother are smart. They don’t let me come anywhere within 10 km radius of the kitchen. The other parts of the house though, have to bear the brunt. Why I am built this way I don’t know!!
So needless to say in my family people don’t trust me with anything. if I am given any responsibility I either break the responsibility, lose the responsibility, forget the responsibility or disfigure the responsibility. errr yes. Once I was asked by mom to keep a potted plant on the parapet of our balcony (silly idea given me as a daughter and a house on the third floor). I diligently and ever so carefully carried the plant successfully till the balcony and even till the parapet. After that I placed it on the parapet, only the silly plant instead of resting its posterior on the parapet chose to go all the way down and smash itself into a million unrecognizable pieces. To this day I swear it was only because of the fact that I was suffering from astigmatism that the parapet seemed farther than it really was. The smirk and the sarcastic grin which my mother gives me make me think that she doesn’t believe my astigmatism theory. Parents can be so skeptical sometimes. That brings me to another aspect of my parents. Sometimes I think they only care for the objects in their house and not a priceless (priceless as in precious and not priceless as in priceless ass!!) daughter like me. For eg: sample this conversation between my mom and me
Me: amma!! I need to tell u something.
Mom: Hmmmm. What is it?
Me: I have decided that I have found my only true love and it is yousuf the milkman. I am deeply in love with him and have decided to run away and marry him because u will never allow us to get married otherwise. We have our future all planned. After marriage we will be moving to Afghanistan where he will join the mujahudeen or al quaeda and do social service by bombing more countries, I will convert myself to islam and bear him three children called osama, bin and laden who will grow up to be terrorists. Together we will wipe the human race off the face of this earth. In fact I urge appa and u to join the mujahudeen too and serve people. Inshallah!!
Mom: ok!! But shruthi if u are running away at night don’t stumble over the lamps and pots near the entrance and break them. Put the light on and run away if u want to but don’t break the pots.
You get the drift?? They just don’t care. Sometimes I think my parents should have given birth to pots and lamps and carpets if they care so much about them. I mean yeah I have broken a few (ok!! More than a few) things at home, lost a lot of things but still I am their daughter!!
But lately they have started caring a little. The reason?? Quoting my sister – “Oh my god who will marry an ungainly, clumsy girl like you. You cant cook, you are destructive, you cant walk without falling, cant carry food without dropping!! What are u going to do?”. Ah well. As Krishna so wisely quoted in the gita “whatever happens, happens for the best”. So if my clumsy and ungainly nature can result in “eligible” suitors rejecting me then there is nothing like it. I am glad I am this way and I hope I stay this way!! ;)
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Sunday: Well. Nightmarish. An extremely trivial issue (at least I think it was trivial) got completely blown out of proportion and I was at the centre of the explosion. I think it is silly to make such a big issue out of nothing but I am also kind of glad it happened. A few things are out in the open and I can talk about them freely now. General opinion is that I seem to have a double personality. People mail me and tell me very politely "I think, maybe u have a double personality". It’s funny. There are people who have a double personality and are unaware of it. I am a person who is completely aware of it but I seem incapable of doing anything about it. I am like ur desi version of Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The Jekyll part of me is this nice, genial, happy go lucky person and the Hyde part of me is grumpy, complaining, aloof and a somewhat bitter personality. I am completely aware of the existence of both these characters yet I seem unable to change the Hyde into Jekyll. the irony is that people with whom I can afford to be Hyde I am all Jekyll and people with whom I should most definitely by Jekyll I am Hyde. u don’t understand what I am talking about.??? Good. Coz even I don’t understand!! :P.
I am a Gemini and most Gemini’s I know have this double personality. I am not justifying my behavior but I was just musing that maybe if I were born 20 days later or earlier I would have been a different person. Ah well!! Whatever!! I have had a gazillion ppl calling me names and telling me what to do and what not to do for the past week and I have reached a point where I am thinking that if all the energies which these people have been expending over me was used constructively and converted into some usable form, it could probably solve the energy problem of India and the world. is there some convertor which can convert advice energy to electrical energy? I would patent it using just the members of my family (i know their ability. i would be a multi billionaire in a month. i trust their advice giving capacity). I can almost hear some members of my family who read this blog going “my god!! She will never learn. Always sarcastic. Sheesh!! ”. Lol. But seriously I have reached saturation point.
Monday – work – break – work – lunch – work – work – work – take cab home at 11.00 reach at 12.00.
Tuesday – work – break – work – lunch – work – work – work – take cab home at 11.00 reach at 12.00.
Wednesday – work – break – work – lunch – work – work – work – take cab home at 11.00 reach at 12.00.
Thursday today. Not that I expect anything earth shattering or mind blowing to happen today but I hope it is peaceful without any comments from the guy sitting at the on site.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Right now I want to be able to sleep till 8, wake up to my mom shouting and calling me for breakfast, listen to my dad getting ready to office (yeah!! I love “listening” to him go to office. Its so much more fun than actually looking at him go to office. “Where’s my shoe, where are my socks, where’s my lunch, where are my car keys, ooouuuccch who left this hair pin in the middle of the drawing room, I almost killed myself stepping on it” are some of the sounds you will definitely get to hear in my house on any given weekday morning). I want to be able to eat a good breakfast, want to hear my mother say “you have lost so much of weight. U should eat green vegetables...blah blah” though I closely resemble a baby elephant.
I want to go back to the time when my sister and I used to fight everyday in the morning before going to school. We fought to decide whose hair amma would plait first, who would take bath first, we fought to decide which pair of socks were hers and which were mine (“you liar!! These are mine. See this bit of mud on the corner. That happened in PT class yesterday”. “you pig. I am sure u must have lost ur pair of socks and put this bit of mud on mine” “oh!! Don’t be lame. Anyway check out the new elastic on this pair of socks. Yours always sag. Mine always stay tight”), fought to decide which ribbons were mine and which were hers (yeah!! We had to wear black color ribbons to school and I will confess I always lost mine and pilfered my sister’s.), fought to decide who would have the first dosa in the morning for breakfast, who would make the bed in the morning. We fought for everything. Right now I make my own bed, we make our own hair we don’t wear socks or ribbons, she makes her own dosa (in fact whenever I visit her she has always been magnanimous and always offers me the first dosa!! It’s no fun fighting with her anymore).
Even as i write this my sister is in clacutta, my dad is in jamnagar, my mom is in bombay and i am sitting here in chennai. if dad were in delhi i could have said four of us live in four corners of india. ok!! sad joke i know but then i am not feeling particularly cheerful at present!! :-\
Yeah its fun living on ur own, fending for urself, staying with friends, etc but when I look at some of my colleagues who come from home, who bring lunches made by their mothers, talk about how they fought with their siblings in the morning I feel so jealous and wonder why software companies are so apprehensive about opening branches in a godforsaken place like jamnagar. And the funny part is that most of these colleagues envy me because I get to stay alone, have more freedom than they do etc. Sigh!!!
I love my life as it is now but I would give anything in this world to be able to spend one month with my parents right now. Sigh!! If wishes were horses the Revathi’s of this world would ride!!
Thursday, November 22, 2007
The last time I went home my mother decided that since she had help (yeah!! I am talking about me. I can be a help at times too. I am not always a pest. Sometimes I try being nice and helpful for a change) she decided she would do the spring cleaning she had been wanting to do for a long time but had been putting off because of lack of help.
So one bright Sunday morning I was woken up by my parents and we started cleaning. Let me start with each room
(If we finish off the kitchen first then I can cook and u and appa can clean the rest my mom suggested)
I started emptying the shelves and asking amma if she needed the stuff or wanted to throw it
Me : ( holding up a tablespoon with no handle and just the scoop part of it): amma...why do u need this?? I mean what purpose does it solve??
Amma: ila ila...keep it. I use it to keep oil, leftover paruppu and sometimes water and besides I would never throw it she says her eyes misting. those were the vessels appa gave me when I got married in 1982. appa is no more at least I can keep the vessels
me:(thinks): with all due respect to thatha I think he would be infinitely happier if amma had used a bowl to store oil,paruppu and water and not a broken table spoon!
Me: (says): right!! ok
later as we proceeded to clean the kitchen I unearthed 13 dabbas with red lids(only six of them actually containing stuff,the rest empty), 6 horlicks bottle (4 with caps,2 without caps, all empty), old dabbas of kerosene, some million rags to clean the kitchen (the blue one is for oil, the red one is for dry stuff, the white one is for water and the magenta one is to clean the gas my mother explains) loads of those free glasses u get with gulab jamun mix, lots of plastic dabbas from eat outs(no no.dont throw them.keep them.tomorrow when u r going back to Chennai those will be helpful to pack food for u she says. its a different thing that she ultimately decides to use zip lock bags to pack food but she wont throw them. I can’t go running around searching for them when I need them, so just let them be she argues)
I don’t understand my mother's fixation with wanting to keep the most useless of things without throwing them. loads of plastic spoons, empty tin dabbas and plastic dabbas all to be used at a later time
my dad and I started cleaning the bookshelf. as usual I had to bring down each book and ask him if he wanted it.
he has three shelves of readers digest and three more of national geographic.
me: appa why do u need a readers digest dated 1962
appa: oh my god. is it still here? I thought we lost it while shifting. give it here.
appa: wow!! imagine a time when readers digest were only 4 rupees and I used to beg appa to lend me 4 rupees every month so I could buy these.
he goes into the nostalgia mode, smells the digest and starts reading. we have been living in the same house for the past four years and he has not realized the existence of the book but he wants to keep it...
me: appa please!! a national geographic dated 1983???this is heights of madness!!
appa: show me show me!! children these days, no appreciation for nature. look at this issue. did u know that the African grey hornbill advertises its presence with a pee-o pee-o pee-o call and it can also be used as a mating call???look here are the pictures
me (thinks): what???how does it affect me how the African grey hornbill shouts and woos its girlfriend???please!!
The next are baby books("how to understand ur baby", "being a mother and more" , "pregnancy and motherhood" , "loving ur child" were some of the names) which were gifted lovingly to my mother thinking that she would be blessed with angelic babies (since she wasn’t, the books remain unopened waiting to be passed on to my sister hoping at least she would produce angelic babies!! so they stay too!!)
ultimately after we were done with the bookshelf I only thing I threw away was one subscription offer for national geo (he wanted me to keep that too but i convinced him whe n i showed him the text on it which said "hurry...offer closes on dec 31st 1986" :-\ )
this was the worst. with absolutely 0 exaggeration the following were the items we found in the store room (which have been collecting dust for the past gazillion years). the text in italics are my parents' reaction when I told them I am going to throw the stuff
1. two cycle pumps (one without the handle and the other without a nozzle). FYI we don’t have a cycle at home.amma gave my cycle away in 2001. (suppose we buy a cycle where will we go searching for a pump??)
2. three cycle tyres (all punctured. no don’t throw them. if the washer comes off from under the centre table or the stool we can cut pieces of cycle tyre and use them as a washer for the centre table!!)
3.some 20 pairs of shoes right from the squeaky ones which my sister wore when she started walking and I wore when I started walking (if preethi has a kid tomorrow it will be like a family heirloom and the child will get a feeling of attachment. I do not express my apprehensions and tell them that the only thing the child will get is psoriasis if it wears slippers whose rightful position is the archaeological department - Mumbai or antique collectors club)
4. some 15-16 pairs of mismatched rat eaten socks. (don’t u dare throw them!! we can put bits of soap into each of the socks and it can be very handy in cleaning the kitchen sink!!)
5. my sister’s broken pram (I have been meaning to fix it up. yeah right!! he has been meaning to do it from 1988)
6.seven or eight curtain rods(no no. its good steel. will help me fix up the pram)
7. 5 boxes of shoe polish(1 brown, 4black and all dry. Keep them. We can use kerosene to make them usable again)
8. to support 5 boxes of shoe polish mentioned above we have 5 tins of kerosene!!
phew!! that’s when I stopped counting and told my parents that I had had enough of spring cleaning. in part II I will re count the other things I discovered(unearthed) from the bedrooms and bathrooms. they deserve a separate post!! so if u haven’t slept off or moved on to the next blog and are still bravely reading this then please be as patient as u have been and read Spring Cleaning part II as well!! ;)
Monday, November 19, 2007
I have been suffering from terrible foot odor problem for the past 2 weeks. I have no clue why. So much so that when I went to watch Vel with my sister she refused to sit beside me. It was that bad. And because she didn’t have a choice she watched the entire movie with her nose closed with the help of her dupatta. I consoled myself saying that maybe it was because of the movie and maybe she was afraid she would barf if surya’s mom started crying again. She tells me her holding her breath had nothing to do with surya’s mom and everything to do with my stinky feet!! :(
i dunno the reason why my foot is behaving so strangely. I have tried everything. I apply sweet smelling Vaseline on my feet every morning but by the time I reach the fag end of the day my feet smell like mike tyson’s under arms after a fight. (Errrr. Not that I go around smelling people’s underarms but I am just assuming that mike tysons underarms after a fight wont smell like a new born baby. No offense meant to u mikey!!)
after ruminating on this issue for a day or two I thought I would google about it and find out what is this disease I am suffering from. I found the following reasons on this site.
Foot odor often results from wearing shoes and/or socks, especially shoes or socks with inadequate air ventilation, for many hours
Now I don’t wear shoes and socks. Irony is that when I did wear shoes and socks in school I never had this problem. My feet always smelt like a lily!! (author thanking god that there is no way people can affirm this statement!! ;)) . I wear ur normal floaters or sandals which are very open, highly ventilated and do not stink unless u want them to (meaning if u intentionally/accidentally go put ur leg into a manhole or something). So I ruled this option out.
Since human feet are densely covered with sweat glands (and men have larger feet and sweat more), excessive perspiration of the feet is the result
Now I stay in the AC from the time I get up to the time I go home. I do NOT sweat during the day and as far as I can remember though I sweat like a pig, my feet never perspire. They have always been dry. And errr. I hope u noticed the fact that only men have larger feet and sweat more. I am just ur dainty delicate little girl (really!!!) and my feet are really small and don’t sweat!!! So strike two
As physical activity increases, foot perspiration, bacterial growth, and bacterial waste production all increase, causing odor to intensify. Hair on the feet, especially on the toes, may also add to odor intensity by adding increased surface area for the bacteria to thrive in.
Now right now in my life I do 0 physical activity. I don’t exert myself AT ALL. The only physical activity I do is carrying my lunch plate from the counter to the table where I eat. I am putting on unimaginable amounts of weight. No offense meant to the CFO of my company but I squirm everyday when I log on to ch1 and see his blog title which reads “Here at cognizant u grow” and a voice inside me tells me “Ha ha!! He is talking about u fatso!!” and I realise that he is right and I am growing (not literally but what the hell it is growing that matters right??). so excessive physical activity also cannot be the reason. And no I don’t have hair on my feet. And I am not a grizzly bear so no hair on my head and no hair on my feet either.
I visited a lot of other sites and all of them either mentioned dirty socks, excessive sweating or hairy feet as the reason. Not the one to give up I looked up the remedy for foot odor. And I found this
· wear well-ventilated shoes instead of very constrictive shoes, such as boots
· always wear socks, preferably made of cotton or other absorbent materials that absorb a lot of the sweat so the bacteria can't feed on it
· change your socks a few times a day
· buy some absorbent Odor-Eater type shoe inserts
· apply an antiperspirant to your feet
very helpful!!!! :.. the first four points didn’t apply to me obviously. So for the past 2 days everyday in the morning I have been liberally dousing my feet in perfume and spraying so much deo that the makers of Charlie don’t have to worry about their sales dropping or anything.
It hasn’t helped. If anything Charlie has mixed with the odor causing bacteria thereby producing a smell which I think can be used on inmates on the death row to ensure a painless and instantaneous death. Jokes apart an awful and asphyxiating smell emanates from my feet which would have killed me had I not been holding my breath.
I am at a loss. I dunno what to do. I have tried changing my shoes, tried good quality sandals, poor quality sandals. If this persists I am thinking I m going to start coming to office bare feet.
have any of u suffered from a similar problem? if yes and if u have found a solution please do revert back to me. i am at my wits end and would be really glad if i could get rid of this problem!! :(
Friday, November 16, 2007
For people who have no clue what I am talking about u should have heard shoaib malik’s presentation speech in the fourth ODI at gwalior. Hilarious it was!! Poor fellow. Kept saying the same thing again and again. Lol.
I read this article and it psyched the day lights outta me. Every time I snap my hair into place with a rubber band I keep imagining that I am going to contract syphilis, gonorrhea or AIDS. Heights of recycling I say. What next?? Maybe next china will come up with an “innovative” idea that car seats and car tyres can be made using used C******!! Ewwwww!! I wonder who gets ideas like this. Hmmmm
One more thing. Just yesterday I saw a stray red dot on my cluster map in the middle of the sea (to the left of north ameirca) and I was really intrigued. I went to google maps and I have discovered that I have a reader from Honolulu!!!! :). I dunno why but it really thrills me to know that there is someone in Honolulu who has read my blog. Whoever you are thanks a lot!!
I am in a really happy mood today. Maybe because it Friday!! :)
Yay!!! Its Friday. Two days of peace, joy and happiness!!! Om shanti Om and Saawariyaaaa. Here I come!!!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
I have had an absolutely fantabulous and mind blowing weekend (week actually) and coming to office today is such a spirit dampener. Like my sister says its so depressing to land at Chennai central at 4.45 in the morning (yeah the bloody train leaves Bangalore at 12 in the night and before u can close ur eyes u reach Chennai.). its like after u have served a person chocolates and ice creams and sambhar sadam, potato subzi, palak paneer and aloo parantha for four days, on the fifth day u ask him to have oats for breakfast lunch and dinner. That exactly how I am feeling now. After having visited jungles, going boating, taking long walks and long drives for 4 days now suddenly some one is rudely asking me to sit and code some nonsense which I do not understand.
So right now I look like someone who has had ten pegs of whisky last night, not slept and forgot to wash his face. I hate these holiday hangovers. I soooooooo want to write about the wonderful kabini trip and so many things which happened in the course of those four days but right now all I can think of is the fact that I have to work for 4 more days till Friday.
I wanted to put this up yesterday but never found the time because of work.
And yeah I saw Vel yesterday. Please. Even if u r given free tickets plus free popcorn plus a free chauffeur driven car to go to the theater and back just politely but firmly refuse the offer. The movie sucks BIG TIME. And people are telling me that of all the diwali tamil releases vel is the best. Ye Gads!!! Thank god I didn’t watch ATM. I almost cried out of frustration after the movie got over. Loud comedy, unnecessary songs, using women as objects of ridicule/sex/desire, absolutely no story line and irritating mothers who say aluvadhenga yaarum aluvadhenga at the drop of a hat when all they have been doing throughout the movie is cry cry and cry for a son she left on a train!!! :-| . This is vel in a nutshell. Trust me. Don’t watch it.
Will try to do a write up about my kabini trip soon. Maybe this weekend. I just wish this week flies!! :-\
Sunday, November 04, 2007
What is it with all relatives and “well-wishers”. Why cant they just let me be. I just finished my engineering 6 months back and already elderly relatives and well wishers have started telling my parents that “if they are interested and if shruthi (me) is interested” they know this third cousins, brothers, neighbors son who has finished his MS in some university in US and is waiting to get married. I m NOT interested. I m 22 and yes child marriage is still banned in India. So all u people think twice before saying such things because before u know it I will report u to the police and see that u spend the rest of ur lives behind bars for getting a child married.
Jokes apart I am totally not interested. And what irritate me more are the double standards. Why is it that boys my age or those elder than me are only asked questions like “what are u planning to do next??” or “you must study further if u have to support a family” or “why don’t u switch companies. This other one I heard pays much better” and the only things which I get to hear are “there is this good boy..” or “don’t work too hard. After marriage u will have to take it easy” or “maybe u should learn to cook”. Thank god my parents haven’t yet been influenced and have turned a deaf ear to all those “eligible” alliances. Why girls?? A few days back in the metro plus there was this saying which I liked a lot which said “I am still to hear a man ask the question “how do I mange my family and work””. That is sooooo true. Don’t say hogwash like “we are modern. We are broad minded” if u think that women working after marriage is not cool or if u think that at 22 a women must marry and immediately start reproducing. We have our dreams and aspirations and we would be very glad that if they are respected.
When I tell people I don’t want to get married now or ever they don’t listen to me. They say irritating stuff like “yeah!! Thats what everyone says now but heh heh heh…. After a year or two ur outlook will completely change”. My “outlook” hasn’t changed for the past 22 years and its unlikely that it ll change now. I do not I repeat DO NOT understand the institution of marriage. If the only purpose is to have kids there are a million orphaned kids out there who would love to have a home. Why not adopt? If its companionship u r looking for get a dog. They don’t leave wet towels on the bed, they don’t scream or fight, they don’t shop, they don’t nag. In short they are perfect!!
I am perfectly comfortable in my own skin and love being alone with my books, my music and myself. I m not marriage material. I have 0 patience, am very short tempered, cant cook, hate clean houses, cant get up early if u gave me a million dollars and cant for the life of me wear a sari and sit for 4 hours in front of smoke “getting” married. Ewwww
I am sorry if this blog comes across as being irritable and peevish but that’s exactly how I am feeling right now!! And I know my blog looks sad and the quality of my posts has gone down drastically (not that the quality was very high or anything but in relative comparison I am writing really sad posts now!!). will do something to remedy that soon. Till then keep visiting!! :)
Monday, October 29, 2007
What I want: hot steaming tea with a plate of pakodas, a nice book and some good music
What I have: hot tea from the vending machine, code which doesn’t work
What I want: a job which lets me talk to people, read a lot and write a lot
What I have: a job where I talk to a maximum of one person, read the lunch menu everyday, and write some nonsense and try to convince everyone that it is code.
What I want: to read John Grisham’s latest novel called playing for pizza
What I have: complete reference java
What I want: is to be able to sleep peacefully without anyone waking me up and asking me to come to office
What I have: am at office at 8.30 owing to the bus driver who drove like he had a pregnant woman in his bus and was rushing her to the hospital
What I want: is to roll my jeans up and splash with gay abandon in the puddles formed by the rain outside
What I have: a voice inside me telling me that I am 22 and a professional working in a leading IT company and professionals working in leading IT companies DO NOT splash in water!!
Sigh!! But what is most surprising is that despite all this I am really really happy and completely in love with life right now. What IS wrong with me??
Friday, October 26, 2007
I need a favor from you guys. You need to fill this survey up for me. Now before u guys think this is one of those stupid things which says "choose the fruit u like the best and we will tell you your personality" and in the end says "if u chose orange u are a person who likes oranges" or something equally and incredibly silly, let me tell you that this is a real survey and it would help a lot of people if u took this survey seriously and gave your esteemed opinion (:P) on the questions listed in this survey. Your results will not be shown to you or anybody else (meaning it is an anonymous survey) so feel free to check whichever option you feel like. Here is the link which you need to follow and take the survey. Even if u dont like my blog and hate the way i write please be kind enough to take some time off your busy schedule and do the survey. Thank you!! :)
Thursday, October 18, 2007
On Monday I did something which I have always always wanted to do and I am glad I finally got around to doing it. A tiny feeling of guilt still lingers but the sense of achievement (however small) kind of overshadows the guilt
On Tuesday a part of code which I had written actually worked. Now this is something earth shattering and mind blowing. Right from class 12th when I first started coding, till now not a single piece of code of mine has ever worked and I was elated when something I had written actually worked
On Wednesday I got the following mail from one of the readers of my internal blog and I haven’t stopped smiling since. It always feels great to be appreciated but this mail just made me soooooooo happy. :)
Hi revs … was thinking to write to u from a very long time …Chakkas post likha hai yaar …Loved reading it ….But whenever I go to d comments section , I read ur or someone’s retaliation n start laughing out so much tat I forget what I was about to comment …I enjoy reading all your posts …D best part is d choice of topics …Everyone can relate to them…u r very witty and u know wats d best part is tat ur humor is clean n neat n u never make fun of others … Ur posts tells us tat revs is a simple , down to earth and very approachable gal…And thanks for linking me in your post … I was so happy to be linked by u … Please continue d great job …Keep Blogging !! Keep Rocking!! Kudos to u!! J
Thanks a lot Sona. You absolutely totally and completely made my day. :)
Since I have had a great week till now obviously today/ Thursday had to be a spoiler. Got up to find no current hence no motor and hence no water (Aaah!! I know what u guys are thinking. No!! the next statement is not hence no bath). I rushed to my grandmother’s place early in the morning to take a bath. Fought with an absolutely irritating auto fellow in the morning. I hate these fellows!! Seriously. Almost missed the bus and on top of it I have this absolutely infernal cold which refuses to go away so my eyes are constantly watering!! Sigh!!
Anyway I will get back to work. And yeah Happy Birthday Namu!! Hope u have a great day. You are one of the nicest people I have known and the past 11 years of knowing you have been fantabulous!! :). Have a great day!! Love you!! :)
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Love you loads and loads paati (I know u will probably never read this but still I just felt like writing this). Wish u a very very very happy birthday. My grandmother by the way is one of the most special people in my life and the only person whom i listen to.
LOVE YOU PAATI!!! :)
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Here I write about some conversations which I have heard when I have been traveling in the bus, train or in theatres etc
1. Heard in the bus. A conversation between a girl of about 20 and her boyfriend on the phone. I could hear only her side of the conversation so I conjure up the boy’s side.
Her: Hmmm. Then what else. What did u have for breakfast?
Her: hmmm. Just idly?? What did u have along with idly?
Her: what chutney?? Coconut or tomato?
Her: Hmmm. Then what else?
Him: I need to go. I will talk to you later. I love u
Her: Hmmm. Bye. I love u too You keep the phone down. Last time I hung up first and u didn’t speak to me for 35 full minutes
Him: No. you hang up first. I promise you I won’t be angry. And I love u more.
Her: No sweetie. You hang up first. And no I am sure I love u more.
(the “you hang up first” and “I love u more” conversations go on for about 15 minutes after which the girls mobile goes out of charge and she is forced to cut the call. By this time I have lost interest and I am afraid I will lose my breakfast too if I listen some more and move onto the next conversation. I have never understood what two lovers talk or why they talk for such long duration. I mean I am sure they don’t discuss about global warming or about the condition of slums in India or about the agenda of the world development report. I think the worst thing that service providers like airtel and hutch have come up with are CUG or groups where they provide unlimited free hours of talking.) Note: My friend Milinta has written a whole blog on this “talking for long hours phenomenon”. U can check out her blog too!! ;)
2. This was the conversation heard between a mother and her son in the theatre when I had been to watch some animation movie
Boy: Mommy. Why have the switched off the lights
Mother: so that we can see the movie
Boy: but I thought u needed light to see
Mother: Yes. But only if they switch off the lights we can see the movie better. If they switch on the lights the picture won’t be very clear.
Boy: Why does it become dark? Why can’t we always have light?
Mommy: because the sun goes down in the evenings.
Boy: why does the sun go down in the evenings?
Mommy: because like u there are other children on the other side of the world who want the sun so the sun goes to meet them
Boy: other side of the world?? Where is that?
At this point I lose patience and move on to the next conversation. The boy kept asking questions and the mother patiently kept answering. A child’s inquisitiveness is amazing no doubt but something which is even more amazing is a mother’s patience. I swear had I been in the mother’s place I would have scolded the child and asked him to watch the movie quietly!!
3. Following was the conversation I heard between a husband and a wife outside a change room in a clothing store. She would go inside, change into something and come out and show her husband.
Wife(wearing a green kurta): Sathish how about this one. This is the the same kurta which preity zinta wore in Lakshya.
Now Mrs.Sathish by no stretch of imagination looked like preity zinta and to be very fair to her, Mr.Sathish also by no stretch of imagination looked like Hrithik Roshan.
Anyway mildly put the kurta wasn’t exactly flattering her figure and was hugging her at places which are best left unmentioned and I was expecting Mr. Sathish to say so much
Husband: Ummm..Errrr.. Well actually this color doesn’t really suit u.
He picks up another blue kurta which if it were worn by Jayalalitha would be loose for her
Now this is the color which would really really suit you
Wife: what u are trying to say is that I look fat. That’s it. Isn’t it??
Husband: no Uma. I am just trying to say that blue color would suit u much better than green.
Wife: ok. I will just go and ask if they have this green kurta in blue. Except for the color everything is fine with the green kurta right?
I am beyond myself with laughter as I see Sathish squirm. And I did not envy his position when Uma came with the same green kurta in blue color and told him she was going to buy.
Sathish: ummm… maybe we should just visit some other shop Uma. The prices here are too steep!
Uma: Are u crazy? This kurta’s original price in 650 and I am getting it at 300 after discount. There is no way I am letting it go. Why are you so apprehensive?
Sathish: (He is really gutsy I decide) No it’s just that maybe this kurta is a little tight for u. maybe we should try the next size!!
Oh my god!!! You guys should have been there to witness what ensued afterwards!! Phew!! They had such a big fight and they kept on fighting. Yours truly just left the place!! ;)
4. This one was while I was traveling in the train from Chennai to Bombay. Some of the moments of my life which I cherish are the train journeys when we as a family would travel from wherever-in-India-we-were-at-that-moment to Chennai. So I love observing families when I am traveling alone. It takes me back to the good ol’ days. Anyway this particular family had two daughters, a mom and a dad and was ur usual gujju parivar.
Daughter 1(called Pinky): mummy!! I want the window seat
Daughter 2(called Sweety): mummy!! Nahi. I want it. Remember last week when u were talking to gupta aunty on the phone and the milk was boiling in the kitchen I asked u if I could have the window seat u said I could have it.
(I pitied mummy and appreciated sweety’s cleverness. The best time to ask a parent for a favor is when they are extremely busy, totally un-interested in what u have to say and cant wait to get rid of you.)
Pinky: but mummy the last time we went to madras Sweety sat at the window seat
Mummy: we had 2 window seats then Pinky and both of you were sitting at one.
Pinky(obviously not very pleased): but I want it.
Daddy: Pinkyyyyyyyyyy!!!!! Sweetyyyyyyyy!!! Bas Karo!!! Enough of ur nonsense. Pinky will sit for half an hour then Sweety will sit for the next half hour
Pinky: I get to sit first.
Sweety: no!! I do. Daddy tell her.
And the fight went on. I didn’t think pinky and sweety were being childish. My sister is 25 and I am 21 and we still fight for the window seat when we travel together. : I have always maintained that it is good to have a bit of fighting/squabbling between siblings. (I am not sure how many parents concur with my views though)
5. Following is the conversation which took place between my mom and my dad when I was in class 7 and till date remains one of my most favorite conversations
Mom: (talking to my dad): Shruthi (yeah that’s me. That’s what I am called at home As to why I am called shruthi at home, well that deserves a separate post in itself) has been really naughty. I have been getting lot of complaints regarding her behavior from all her teachers.
Dad(reading the newspaper): Hmmmm
Mom: She actually put horns on the head of her computer teacher and it got reflected on the monitor and she got caught (this is completely true. This did happen and till date it has been the funniest and most embarrassing situations in my life).
Mom: And preethi doesn’t study at all. I am worried she will hardly score in her 10th exams.
Mom: Maybe we should send her to coaching classes
Mom: you never listen to anything I say
Dad: I don’t believe it. I just don’t
Dad: in a country with 1 billion people isn’t there a single doctor who can find a cure for Sachin Tendulkars shoulder injury??
Errr. The scenes that followed were errr. Not very pleasant and hence I shall refrain from elucidating for fear that some children by chance might come visiting and get scared!! :P
There are many such conversations which stand out in my memory but this post is getting way too long anyway. Maybe I will do a conversations part-II. :). So till then Keep Talking!! ;)
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Me: Oh cool!! You like Grisham too?? I love “The Client” written by him. Have u read that?
Colleague: oh yeah!! I loved that one too. And Erich Segal's Class and Doctors is simply mid blowing
Me: oh yeah!! I just completely fell in love with Class. And more recently, did u read khaled hosseini's kite runner and 1000 splendid suns
Colleague: Oh my god!! Yeah yeah yeah. Absolutely loved them both. I cant believe our tastes match so much
Me: (Moving on to the acid test): Hmmm.. errrr. Then I presume you like PG Wodehouse
Colleague: Shucks No!! I HATE him. I just can’t stand the way he writes
Until this point I was genial, friendly and nice, even cracking little jokes but once she said I hate PGW I think I completely lost it. u can tell me stuff like "I think your father is a terrorist Revs, and he is the master mind behind the WTC bombing" and I wont be provoked, or u can say stuff like "I think ur sister is a cannibal and the only reason she calls u home so frequently is so that she can fatten u up well and then eat you" and I would probably just give u a little smile and say "Oh!! Is that so??" but if u say stuff like "I hate PGW" I get livid. Come on. My dad can turn terrorist (errr.Appa if you are reading this u know I love u!! :)), my sister can turn into a cannibal (on second thoughts she already is one. Preethi if you are reading this c’mon sis it’s time u faced some facts). Both these events are not entirely impossible but hating PGW?? Now that’s impossible. PGW aint a writer. He is a magician who plays magic with words.
Shit!! This is exactly what I was talking about. I need to simmer down. I just need to.
Anyway after my colleague made that statement I went "What??????? You don’t like PGW and u call yourself a person who likes to read books??" (Now, I realize that I was being entirely unreasonable. I cant understand a word of what Paulo Coelho is trying to say in alchemist and I don’t understand why the boy must speak the language of the desert. call me shallow, call me un-philosophical but that’s the way I am but then when I was at the peak of my outburst I wasn’t really thinking reasonably). But the point I am trying to make here is that there is a world of difference between saying "I don’t understand what PGW writes" and saying "I hate PGW". The former statement I can tolerate,even understand, the latter, I have realized sadly is beyond my tolerance level. Needless to say after that little outburst of mine my colleague hasn’t been very cordial to me to put it mildly.
Same thing happened with a friend of mine who said she didn’t like the way Atif sings and I again went "What???????*&^%^##@$%&"
I just need to get a hold on myself
Following are some of the things I need to do
1. Need to tone down Sreesanth like behavior
2. Need to visit the Himalayas and have a look at how the sages live
3. Need to apologize to my colleague
4. Need to be more tolerant
5. Need to accept the fact that not everyone likes Wodehouse and not everyone can appreciate Atif's singing. (But for crying out loud how can u not like stuff like this "A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of someone who had searched for the leak in life's gas pipe with a lighted candle" or "I should like to start by saying that since the first human being crawled out of the primeval slime and life on this planet began nobody has ever loved anybody as i love Gertrude Wnnkworth".Sheesh I am doing it again.)
6. I really need to follow this need to list!!
Sunday, October 07, 2007
The real life story of a man who has been through sooooooooooo much in life and the way he has written it is BLOODY brilliant. I have just completely fallen in love with the way he has written. He describes India and Bombay so beautifully that it especially appeals to a person like me who has this “crazy almost bordering toward madness” kind of love for India. I cant really explain what I love about this country but I just love it with every fibre of my being and to hear my sentiments being voiced by a foreigner, to hear my country being praised by him felt so good.
And another astounding thing is that Gregory david Roberts wrote Shantaram three times after the prison guards destroyed the first two versions. Each version was around 600 pages. And to have continued writing after having his first two version destroyed tells you about the kind of amazing grit, willpower and determination this man possesses. It is very very hard to believe that it has been written by a prisoner, an armed robber and a hopeless heroin addict. There is a part in the book, around 50 pages, where he talks about his stint in an Indian prison. It just completely moved me to tears and threw light on the kind of circumstances under which prisoners in India live and the way they are treated. (But according to Roberts such is the case in every prison in this world.).
Shantaram is a riveting read which is at once moving, touching, humorous, dark, thrilling, full of suspense, compassionate, sensational and erudite. I am running out of adjectives to describe this book. Please do read it. Don’t let the size of the book intimidate you. Trust me it is worth the read.
Next on my list is Orhan Pamuk’s ‘Snow’ and ‘My Name is Red’. I generally do not read books written by Nobel prize winning authors because most of what they write is a bouncer for me but I am going to try. So any reviews on these two books are most welcome!! :)
Friday, October 05, 2007
And after u have had an absolutely fantabulous four day weekend (God bless mahatma Gandhi for being born on October 2. October 1 was a state wide bandh so ultimately it became a four day weekend) doing nothing but eating, sleeping and making merry with your friends, you hate coming to office so much that the hatred which osama bin laden feels for Bush would seem trivial compared to it. The best day was Monday. I love going around with my friends and roaming around the city but I love idling away time reading a book and listening to music a little more than that. Monday I was on house arrest because of the bandh and I spent it reading a PG Wodehouse, listening to songs by KK and eating vengaya sambhar and vendekka curry made by paati. I have decided that IF IF IF IF IF ever I marry I will only marry someone who can write like PGW, sing like KK and cook like my grandmother. That’s not much to ask for. And oh yeah!! If he happens to look like George Clooney I wouldn’t mind that!! ;)
I just realized that I have been meting out step-motherly treatment to my blog. After I started blogging on Cognizant internal blogs I have almost stopped blogging on my external blog. I feel really bad coz this blog has been with me for almost two years now and has seen me through sooooooooooo many things. My emotions are best expressed when I write about them and this blog of mine has been proof of that fact. So no matter how popular I get on the internal blog revsrules will always be my first love (internal blog would be my second love, and third would be the guy who can write like PGW, sing like KK, cook like my grandmother and looks like George Clooney(this one’soptional)..;) ). Well anyway so I am going to increase my blogging activity on my external blog and try to blog almost daily about my un-eventful life. Maybe writing about it will make it more eventful. Maybe. Un-eventful life reminds me, I better get back to work!! ;)
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
I hereby announce the death of my alter ego a.k.a Re"vetti". I was re-christened Re"vetti" by a friend of mine (I forget who. I think it was Rahul. I am not sure though and I definitely don’t want to give HIM credit for re-christening me!! :P) around three years back in my second year of engineering when the maximum work I did was eating and sleeping(yeah sometimes when I was awake and not hungry I also visited college once in a while). I was utterly jobless then and hence the name Re"Vetti" came to be. it became hugely popular and almost everyone I knew (even those I didn’t know) then started calling me by this name.(I didn’t mind. as long as I wasn’t called fatty or shorty or something I was happy.)
Anyway coming back to the point I hereby announce the death of my alter ego Re"Vetti" because after she stayed in office till ten for the past two weeks(it promises to get worse by the way) and worked on Saturdays she no longer deserves to be called thus!! I can’t believe (and most of the people around me can’t believe) the fact that I am actually doing some work. in the past 21 years of my existence I have never done anything which can even remotely be classified as work (no wait!! I really really worked for my sisters wedding. I tasted all the food in the sathram and informed my parents if the menu and taste were fine. yup!! now that’s work.***) and now I am working so much that I have no time left to do anything else nowadays. I get up at 7.00 leave for office at 8.30 come back home and 10.30 and hit the bed. (wow!! what an absolutely happening life I must say). one day I had so much of work that I had to actually catch the cab at 11.45 in the night and by the time I came home it was 12.30. Sheesh!! I can’t believe its me. I used to look down upon people who worked beyond 6.00 in the evening and now I have become a person whom I would have scorned a few months back!! :(
I think god has this quota that every human being should do so much of work and since I haven’t done any of it in the past 21 years he is making me work my posterior out now (oh yeah!! I am a thorough professional now. I don’t use terms like A** and all that now. sigh!! how much a job in a software company can change a person!!)
So it’s official. all u people who derived pleasure out of calling me Re'Vetti' kindly desist from using the word vetti in my context. I no longer deserve it. people who sympathize with me after reading this blog and are going "Awwww. poor girl" u guys are the best and I hope god blesses you with as little work (and as high a salary of course) as possible. and for people who are smirking and going "Hah!! she calls 12.30 late?? I stay in office till 2.00- 3.00 and am back in office at 9.00 next day morning" u seriously need help. there is lots and lots to life apart from work and if u r missing out on all that its time u went to psychiatrist and got ur head checked. Sorry if I sound rude but frankly I doubt it if anyone belonging to the latter category would actually visit my blog.
By the way my blog is right now suffering from abject lack of visitors with visitors fewer than Pamela Anderson’s clothes in Baywatch (and that is saying something). Now I am not a person who cares about numbers. I don’t care if I have any visitors or not. I write because I love to write and right now it is the only source of entertainment in my otherwise bland and bleak existence. It was just something that I noticed. U stop updating Ur blog and the visitors to Ur blog also stop.
I am sure at least 99% of u r wondering what the hell is she trying to say. Honestly even I don’t know. So I will just stop rambling now and let u derive ur own conclusions from this post of mine. I will just get back to work. C ya.
P.S: initially I thought I wouldn’t post this blog at all because it was so full of shit but then it took me ten minutes to type all this nonsense up and I am not letting all that effort go waste!! so people who are still reading and have actually read this far I bow down. if I had been in ur place I would have just clicked that small red color cross on the right corner of my window right after the first para!! :P
***- This is what i meant when i said my jokes are as sad as my life is!! My sense of humor seems to have gone for a toss!! :(
Friday, September 07, 2007
A couple of days back my worst nightmare turned into a reality when I saw half my hair on my pillow half of it on the comb I use and remaining in the sink in the bathroom after I had had a head bath. I was as shocked as mallika sherawat would be if she were asked to wear some clothes, as shocked as bal thackerey would be if he were asked to be the editor of playboy (trivia: who is the editor of playboy??).
Anyway you get the drift as to how shocked I was don’t u?
When u r 21 you are young, enthusiastic with a zeal for life and a hairless head is not something u would like to have. Obviously I was extremely worried about this and asked the various members of my family what must be done.
In the order of seniority I shall describe the reactions of my family members at this sudden mane-loss I was suffering!! I asked my grandmother who I assumed would have one of those grandma things to give me which would make my hair grow overnight.
Now for my grandmother the only solution to all the ailments in this world is one single thing - Curd Rice or thayir sadam. She believes that almost any disease, infection, mental agony etc can be solved/cured just by having thayir sadam!! Her standard reply for everything is “Thayir sadam sapadu. Yellam seriya podium!! (Eat curd rice and all will be well)”
This is the conversation which generally goes on at our place
My Aunt: its the year end and I have so much work in office. I feel so tired when I get back home
Grandma: eat curd rice. It will give u energy
My cousin: Damn!! I have got my physics exam tomorrow and I cant remember any of these stupid formulae
Grandma: eat curd rice. It will sharpen ur memory
My 7 year old cousin: Paati my leg is itching from the morning.
grandma: must be some kind of skin rash. Eat curd rice. it will be ok by tomorrow
no prizes for guessing what her reply was when I asked her the remedy for my incessant hairfall..Curd Rice of course
My grandmothers idea of paradise would be one huge hall filled with people with all kinds of problems, a cow which would continuously give her good milk (to make curd of course) and a huge cooker where she would prepare rice and distribute curd rice to everyone!!
needless to say after eating all that curd rice, grow I did but not in the head region. I grew immensely along the x axis. and in a way my grand mom was right. curd rice did solve my problem. after eating curd rice I put on so much of weight that my hair fall problem seemed trivial!! :
Next was my dad. now for u guys who have seen my dad quit laughing. I know asking my dad tips on how to control hair fall would be as absurd as asking Sonia Gandhi to take Hindi classes or asking Vijay Mallya to hold discourse on simple living. But anyway I did ask him. Now my dad is exactly the kind of dad a lazy, lethargic girl wouldn’t want. He goes jogging at 5 in the morning then comes home and does yoga and even before I get up he is off to work. And he never misses an opportunity to advise me on my “early-rising” habit.
Me: appa my hair fall has increased exponentially and I am really worried. What should I do?
Appa: you just don’t get enough exercise. If u exercise u will have a healthy body which in turn will lead to a healthy mind and ur hair will grow
(No!! being the good daughter that I am I did not ask my dad if he was an exception to that rule!!)
My fathers idea of paradise would be our entire family dressed in reebok shoes, tracks and jogging 5 kms every morning at 5.00 am.
Following my dad’s advice made me lose all the weight that curd rice had genially helped me put on but it did nothing to control my hair fall!!
Next was my mother. I knew what my mother’s solution would be but me being me
I just couldn’t resist asking her
Me: amma I have been having this problem of hair fall for the past two weeks. What should I do to control it?
Amma: what’s ur hemoglobin
Me: (thinks) now my hemoglobin aint George Clooney’s birth date that I will remember it by heart.
Amma: See!! No wonder. You never eat green vegetables or fruits. How many times I have told u not to eat junk. Eat pomegranates or apples when u r hungry not chips and all that other nonsense u eat!!
Now in vegetables green is the only color I dislike. I cant stand green leafy vegetables, I cant stand bottle gourd, bitter gourd, snake gourd, all the other gourds, palak, methi, mooli, cabbage. Basically I have an allergy towards healthy things.
My mom’s idea of paradise would be a huge table filled with never-ending cabbage, palak, broccoli (this blasted vegetable wasn’t even available in India a few years back but ever since my mom realized that it is rich in vitamin A and C, is anti-cancer, anti- cholesterol, anti-fat and anti-children she always makes it a point to stuff me with it) and my dad, sister and I grazing errr i mean eating while my mother looks on.
Amma: hair fall is mainly because of lack of vitamin A. now if only u would drink the broccoli and palak soup I made u wouldn’t complain so much!! Hmph!! :?
Me: broccoli and palak soup??? Ewwwwwwwwww…
Needless to say my mother wasn’t pleased and she refused to give me any more tips on how to control my mane-loss (and in a way I was relieved)
Next was my sister.
Me: hey preethi!! Listen..i have been having this problem of hair fall man. I am really worried. What do I do?
Preethi: Shehnaz Hussain!!
Preethi: try this hair cream by shehnaz hussain. Its absolutely great
Now if u have seen shehnaz hussain u will know why I was very sure that I did not want to use any hair cream made by her!! ;) for the benefit of those who haven’t seen her here is a picture.
(Don’t ask me who the dude with her his. This was the first image of hers which was thrown up when I said shahnaz hussain on Google images!! )
Anyway coming to the point Yeah I want my hair to grow but not to such an extent that u cannot distinguish between a bear and me.
For my sister whatever shahnaz hussain says is gospel truth. As for me I wasn’t very convinced and hence refrained from using the hair cream suggested by my sister!!
Ultimately suggestions from my entire family failed to help me and even as I write this post my hair fall is probably in progress and I already have these bald patches around my head and I really don’t appreciate it when people look at my dad then look at me and say with a smirk “Must be hereditary ”
So there ends this sad story of how a girl born into a weird family, suffered from hair loss, had no one to help her ultimately died bald!!:(
Yeah I know u guys are choked and are probably bawling now so for every person who sympathizes with me I shall give a free box of tissues!!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
now i have no clue how to cook dal so i went to food world called my mom and asked her what were the ingredients required to make dal
mom: toor dal can be used to make dal but there....
me: yeah ok ma.talk to u later.bye
Lesson 1: when ur mom says "but" dont cut the call. listen to what she has to say.
not heeding my mother's "but" i went around to the dal section of the shop and was met by a 6ft x 5ft shelf full of dals of different sizes shapes and colours
me:(asking the help there): errr..toor dal..which one is it
help: which one do u want. do u want full toor, half broken, broken, premium quality, normal quality
me: wait!! stop. err gimme the one they use to make sambhar
Lesson 2: Just because both sambhar and dal are different shades of yellow DOES NOT mean they are made using the same dal
the help gives me a dal which i proudly buy. i also buy some tomatoes, onions and chillies and head back home to prepare dal a la yummy!! (thats the name i proposed to give my dal. only it was all but yummy)
i go home take a cooker measure some dal wash it thoroughly put the dal into the cooker put lots of water and put it on the gas and wait for the whistle.
next i cut all the vegetables put it on a kadai and saunter the vegetables. i do this realy well
Lesson 3: sauntering vegetables is the easiest thing to do and even a baby can do it and only an extremley culinary un-skilled person can spoil this
next i try to make the dough for the rotis. i learnt a lot of lessons while doing this task.
Lesson 4: never make the dough for the rotis without supervision when u r doing it the first time. you will i repeat WILL spoil it.
Lesson 5: if u are forced to do it alone then for pete's sake take a small quantity to experiment and then if u are successfull make more atta
i took about 5 table spoons of atta (pilsbury) put it on a plate, poured a tumbler of water and started making the dough
Lesson 6: while making atta DO NOT add all the water all at once. add water little by little and make the dough
i started making the dough but it was a gooey messy affair and there was entirely too much water so i put in two more table spoons of atta, and then there was too much atta so i put in some more water. this went on until i was left with one huge blob of &*#%^(i dunno what to call it. even i wouldnt go as far as calling it atta). i tried to check the porosity (hardness) of the atta by poking it with my finger. my finger refused to penetrate the dough. Next I tested it using a pencil. The pencil broke (Come on people!! Graphite is after all the softest non-metal. Its not like my pencil was made of diamond or something). Well anyway the bottom line is that euphemistically put the dough was not appropriate for human consumption
at this point I suddenly remembered my dal. All this while I didn’t hear a single whistle and hence assumed that the dal was happily cooking inside the cooker.
Lesson 7: If after 20 minutes of cooking something in the cooker (esp dal) if u don’t hear a whistle it is NOT a positive sign.
I just left the dal in the cooker and was wondering what I would do with the hard, rigid, tough, inflexible and inedible blob of &*#%^ when I smelt something burning faintly. I rushed to the cooker switched off the gas and opened my cooker to find a 3 inch layer of black soot and four (yes guys!! Exactly four pieces of that blasted yellow colour dal that I bought) sitting prettily on top of the bed of black soot. If not for my distraught state I would have taken a couple of pictures and put it up but unfortunately I didn’t take any pictures.
Then I tried to clean the cooker. I tried and tried and tried cursing all those people in the Vim and Pril ad’s who make washing dirt and grime on vessels seem like so easy and effortless (agreed the “grime” in my case was a little too much but still)
Lesson 8: if u burn something do NOT try to wash the burnt vessel at once. Let it lie in water for some time. The water helps loosen up all the dirt and washing is easier
Anyway after this disastrous attempt at cooking I tried to clean up all the mess I had created. (there was white colored flour everywhere aesthetically decorated by black soot at places, sauntered vegetables on a kadai gone cold now etc) but before I could begin the bell rang and in came my sister.
Shock, wise people have said is also a form of surprise (so I actually did manage to surprise my sister!! Yay!!!)
Now my sister is a cleanliness freak. She just CANNOT stand dirty things. Her wardrobe is perfectly clean, her house is always disinfected and its floors can be used for the “after” scenes in the domex and lizol ad’s , her kitchen is always clean and there isn’t a single vessel or towel or plate which is ever out of place. And when she saw the state of the kitchen, the dough, the black soot and the non-existent dal she flipped!!
Lesson 9: when u have a sister who is a cleanliness freak don’t even attempt to give her surprises. It really doesn’t work. Trust me
I got a longggg lecture from her explaining to me the difference between the dal used for making sambhar and the dal used for making normal dal (frankly speaking i still do not know the difference. they are both yellow and they are both round). apparently the dal which i had used requires more water and hence the silly dal had burnt and not cooked!! when I tried telling her that I was just trying to surprise her I got another long lecture on the ill effects of surprising people.
Lesson 10: (the golden one): When u are in deep shit DO NOT open ur mouth!! ;)
After my futile attempt to surprise my sister with my culinary and not achieving the desired effect I have never attempted to cook again both for my sake and for the general good of the world!!
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
so kindly wait till my block clears and i am able to write again..will try to blog more often now that training is over!! :)
And i just now noticed(thanks to BOB) that i have crossed a 10000 hits
thanks all for taking some time off and reading my verbose ramblings..feels great to cross 10000 hits!!
keep visiting!! :)