Monday, February 26, 2007

MEGA SERIAL- PART-II :):)

I have been wanting to write mega serials part II for quite a long time but I was waiting for an auspicious time. In short I was waiting for pari (ignorant ppl read THIS) to die so I could write part II.. but the 40th and last day has been stretching for the past three weeks and I just don’t have any patience. The way she is going, it looks like she might even outlive me. So rather than waiting I have decided to go ahead with part II.

Like i already mentioned in part I this pari’s relatives believe in this baba guy (though I feel ashamed to admit it I have been watching these serials with my sis. But I can justify myself saying that I was doing ground work for part II :):)) who tells them that pari is destined to die on the 10th 20th 30th and 40th day after her marriage by water fire land and air respectively. Each of these elements would have nothing better to do for the next 40 days except for plotting against pari. Actually if I had been in their place even I would have used all my powers to put an end to her on the first day itself.

Anyway so her husband (the bastard who is now changing for the good by the way) is also plotting against her. But as 40 days pass he realizes what a sweet, nice and extremely aacharamana (gag gag!!puke puke) girl she is. So now he is falling in love with her. I can even take the falling in love part. The part which absolutely had me bugged was that each time they feel “love ” for each other (which they feel when they do extremely stupid and mundane things like drinking coffee, walking down the stairs, going down the lift etc) there is a song in the background and both of them go into dream land with her dupatta flying on his face and he standing and enjoying the feel of the dupatta on his face (his dream) or him standing like an expressionless blob of flesh with her running around him(her dream) singing “itne hum kareeb aa gaye..dil ko tho pata bhi na chala ..naa chala..naaaaaaa chala..naa-aa-aaa-aaaaa chala and so on so forth till the director is able to successfully convert a three second coming down the lift into a twenty minute part with two breaks in between.

So as time passes bastard slowly falls in love with her and as expected falls out of love with his original girl friend(who is always dressed in jeans a t-shirt and is called ishika(obviously if she were called sita,tulsi,pari our bastard would still be in love with her)) finally on the 40th day he takes her out somewhere to spend the full day with her and tell her how much he loves and they spend the full day doing things which please her like eating kulfi from a road side kulfi shop where she very conveniently drops her kulfi and shares his kulfi thereby making both of them go into dreamland(another 20 minutes) and then drinking some disgusting chai in some road side shope.

Now this is one more thing I don’t understand. In all these kinds of serials without exception the lady in the lead always likes tacky things and dingy places and always says stuff like “platform ke kulfi ke dunkanon mein kulfi khaane ki baat hi kuch aur hai. Baskin robbins ke ice cream mein who swaad kahan jo inmein hai” and then they will take a huge bite of the kulfi and go mmmmmmmmmmmmm... Gimme a break. Whats wrong if u like the good things in life. If u prefer eating the heavenly masala dosai at hotel saravana bhavan and not parotta paya in the kaiyendhi bhavans. Whats wrong if u like eating ice creams at baskin robbins or creamy inn and do not prefer to eat road road side ice lollies where the ice could be water from the cooum in the frozen form. And the worst part is that the heroines eating in such places is found endearing by the heroes. Puhleaseeeeee!!

Anyway so after a full day of doing disgusting things like sitting beside a fountain and discussing how pari can be so saint like and playing with unwilling children they check into a hotel room and bastard (who is absolutely smitten with pari now) asks her to wait down in the reception and goes up for sometime and then comes down and they go up by lift (and reach the third floor after 20 mins while they hold hands, giggle and go into dreamland)..well before I narrate the scenes that followed kindly read the following

Corny
Definition in oxford English dictionary:
Adj.informal
Sentimental, hackneyed

Corny
New definition in my dictionary
Adi, informal
All scenes in mega serials when the man and his lady love are left together..

Seriously the scenes which followed could have gone down in the history as few of the corniest scenes ever. Anyway as soon as pari opens the lift door she finds a huge heart made of flowers (not unlike the ones seen in wedding which proclaim X weds Y) and in the centre is written “I Love u pari” and the hotel corridor is strewn with rose flowers (pulled mercilessly out of some poor beautiful looking rose no doubt) and pari puts on a pained expression (the kind I have seen people with severe constipation portray). Its only after a while that I realize that its not a pained expression but is a look of romance. Sigh!!

And after she enters the room there is a huge heart of flowers on the bed on which is written I love u pari again (really creative guy I must say. Man!! Can’t he think of anything else other than “I love u pari” to say to the woman he loves???) and then on the side table is a yummy chocolate cake with the icing (u guessed it right!!) “I love u pari”!!!!

Pari is beyond help now and must use the loo(that’s pretty much the look on her face) and she decides she must use the lift go down and buy bastard some gift and surprise him (and give him constipation in return). She goes to use the lift (which has a sign in big bold letters which says “lift not working”. But I guess she is so used to seeing “I love u pari” that she probably thinks that the writing next to the lift is also “I love you pari” or maybe she is illiterate. Whatever!!) and this time the director decides to be creative and rather than using the lift scene for dreamy songs pari meets with an accident (finally!!there is a god after all!!) and then the next twenty mins are devoted to the accident and bastard running down the stairs like a madman to rescue his lady love. Finally he meets her on the ground floor with a gash on her head which is bleeding which is the only damage and for which she is admitted to a hospital kept in an ICU and the doctors (a few creeps paid to walk up and down and look busy) shake their heads and try to appear intelligent and say “very serious case. Bacchna mushkil hai. She is in coma”..

I have seen the serial only uptil now and though I would love to write part III I really don’t think I have the patience to watch that shit again for another two weeks. And oh by the way what I have written in this blog are about 13-14 episodes.
So with a heavy heart I must say that this is the concluding part of this series unless someone is willing to watch it and give me inputs ;).. any volunteers???:D:D

Thursday, February 22, 2007

PATHETIC PROFS!!!

Sometime last week i got my results and have been wanting to blog about it for sometime but due to lack of proper net connection have been unable to write. The first feeling that coursed through my mind when I saw the results was ultimate relief. "Shit man I cleared all my papers. I m gonna keep that job in CTS after all." was the thought that crossed my mind. Because I did not have access to the internet I learnt about my marks only the next day. I m basically writing this blog in a state of extreme hatred and anger towards my professors. When I actually saw my marks I was aghast when I saw the internal marks column of my marksheet. Three of the professors had given me 15 on 20 which is extremely poor internals

Now I wonder how the brains (if they have any that is) of these professors work. I am somehow convinced that their brains must be filled with cowdung. But hey wait a minute. Even cowdung is supposed to have medicinal properties so I guess their “brains” don’t even have cowdung. All they have is loads of spite, a very distorted sense of respect and the amazing and unwanted ability to harbor ill feelings.

I guess the professors must be using the following scheme for marking

1. If student is creative, can think on his/her own and asks relevant questions which make u squirm and say “I will refer and tell you ” >> -5

2. If the above student forgets to wish u when he sees u in the library(where u r pretending to read but actually cant understand a god damned word of whats written ) or canteen(where you are seen fighting with the canteen manager to let u take food for free because u r a staff) or sports block (where u r seen taking advantage of the fact that u r a staff by playing with bare feet when the rules say that must wear proper sports gear) >> -10

3. If student is extremely silent copies all the assignments from the prescribed book without a clue about what the assignment is all about and always sits on the first bench pretending to take notes(I say this not to insult the student but the professor. Which student can possibly take notes when the professor says stuff shit like “I want both the solution and the answers” , “what is this noise coming from the backside of me” , “it is like that only that the compiler compiles”..sheesh!! ) and nodding his head dumbly >> +10

4. If student is an active member in the organizing committee of either the symposium or the culturals and therefore does not attend classes frequently but still does well in the unit tests >> -20


5. If student runs behind the staff after every class asking silly and stupid doubts, asking them “important” questions for the upcoming test grinning sheepishly and wringing his/her hands. Also compliments the staff and asks for extra tests assignments >> +20

Seriously I am not at all being sarcastic. Each of the statements which I mention I have seen them happen to many students and most of the times to myself. I will be honest. No I cannot run behind staff trying to be extra polite and please them when I have ZERO respect for them but just want to get internals. I CANNOT sit on the first bench trying to appear serious when all I want to do is laugh my head off at the staff’s stupidity. I CANNOT and will not wish staff when I see them outside college hours. We are just two unrelated human beings then.

What irritates me most is that professors like these always say that they will grade u based only on ur test performance when frankly speaking they don’t care a rats ass about ur test marks. One particular professor(an extremely pathetic one) I know taught us for only a month and during this period(it was the symposium time) kept three tests, some hundred assignments and then left for God knows where and gave everyone(except a few) extremely poor internals. What the hell could he have judged about a student in just a month?? I am so pissed that I could track him down and give him such a piece of my mind that he will never forget his entire life.

Though I feel extremely pained to be leaving college in another 2 months(I m gonna really miss coll life) academically I am so glad that I am no longer gonna be associated with such half witted, moronic and anally retentive profs. I still have my project to go and I am sure all the profs are just waiting to screw me. Anyway lets see what happens!!

Some people just have the knack of getting on the others’ nerves I guess!!!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Tagged!!

I have been tagged by
Srikanth with this huge tag which seems to keep going on and on and on.
Anyway here goes!!
Favorite Color:
There is no particular color that I dislike so I guess I like all colors. No Favorites

Favorite Food:
Everything edible and vegetarian

Favorite Month: June

Favorite Song
Tough one.I like so many. Favorite would be Tere Bin by Atif..
Hindi :
I love soooo many songs. All oldies - Mohammed rafi, kishore, mukesh, manna dey All Atif’s, KK”s, Shanker Mahadevan, and of course all Rehman’s songs. He is GOD.

Tamil:Again all Rehman’s songs and Ilayaraja.. Lately even yuvan shanker raja.

English:
Boyzone- U say it best when u say nothing at all. John Denver- Leaving on a jet plane, All Don Williams songs. All time favorites are Abba and Boney M. Hard rock and metal come under the category NOISE for me. :):)

Favorite Movie: This is a long List. Read if u have the patience.
fools rush in,life is beautiful, erin brokovich, forrest gump Casablanca, schindlers list, dil chahta hai, black, shawshank redemption, men of honor, Hotel Rwanda, Sweet November, all romantic comedies, Swadesh, mouna ragam and all animation movies

Favorite Sport
:
Play – Badminton, TT, Scrabble(does it count??) , Watch - Cricket.

Favorite Season:
Summer, Summer, Summer

Favorite Day Of the week:
Saturday

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor:
Chocolate

Favorite Time of Day:
Night time. When there is no body around and I get loads of time to read and blog. I sleep during the day time to avoid people!! Heh heh..

8 CURRENTS
Current Mood: Ecstatic

Current Taste: Tangy

Current Clothes: Blue Tracks and Red T-shirt

Current Desktop: Windows XP

Current Toenail Color: I have never colored my nails

Current Time: 12.01 pm IST

Current Surroundings: My kid cousin Sid acting smart grandmom lecturing, lots of books a radio and a messy bed

Current Thoughts: Man!!! I hate advice.

6 FIRSTS

First Best Friend: don’t remember.

First Screen Name: revs

First Pet: My sister :D:D

First Piercing: Have pierced only ears

First Movie: Hum aapke hain koun(that was the first I saw in the theatre. I don’t remmeber the first one I saw)

6 LASTS

Last Cigarette: I don’t smoke.

Last Drink: Alcoholic: I don’t drink. Non-Alcoholic: Water

Last Car Ride: Feb 14th 2007. Went to watch movie Music and Lyrics with my SISTER(please note this point and NOT the date ;))

Last Movie Seen: Music and Lyrics

Last Phone Call: My sister asking me what I wanted for dinner.(its not like I have many options but I still tell her something to please her)

Last Book Read: Interpreter of maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri.

Have You Ever Broken the Law: Dude!! I have never followed the law

Have You Ever Been Arrested: No. I haven’t broken laws to that extent. House arrest yes but police arrest No

Have You Ever Been on TV: No

Have You Ever Lied: Many Many times. There was a time in my life when I lied so much that even I believed it was the truth.. LOL

Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn’t Know: No

4 THINGS

Thing You’ve Done Today: Spoken to my granmom after a long time, Didn’t meet for a project meeting after a long time, Had great food after a long time

Thing You Can Hear Right Now: Atif singing Tere Bin, My kid cousin Sid singing something. Cant make out words. My garndmom talking

Thing You Can’t Live Without: Internet, Cell phone, Friends and my family(mom dad sis and grandmom).

Thing You Do When You’re Bored: I love to read. I have the ability to read the same books and novels again and agaon. I once read an Archie comic about 30 times because I was so bored. Sometimes I message when I am bored

4 PLACES YOU’VE BEEN TODAY:
Airport(to collect my laptop[yipeeeeeeee]) from my dad’s colleague, sisters house, grandmothers place and garndmom’s kitchen

3 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO
Sister, Milinta, Ebin

2 CHOICES

1. Black or White: White 2. Hot or Cold: Hot

1 THING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
Start an NGO.

I TAG:
Rahul, Milinta(new to blogger), Ashwin, Padmashree ,Sheikheeee and Ravikumar

Thursday, February 08, 2007

MEGA SERIAL- PART-I

Because I have absolutely nothing to do during my final year of engineering(not that I did much during the first three yrs but I at least had college five days a week and tests and assignments over the weekend but in final yr I have just two papers and hence college only on two days of the week and hence enormous scope for doing nothing) I have been staying at my sister's place(to do “project work”. just typing the word makes me go into peals of laughter. god only knows what’s going to happen to our project. well I will reserve that for another blog).

Well for the past 20 years I have known my sister and though she is far from being sane, level headed and normal I could safely say that her views on soaps and mega serials were pretty much the same as me. So u can imagine how surprised/shocked/flabbergasted (no forget it!!U can’t imagine. I positively goggled) I would have been at 9.00 pm on Monday night when I sat down to watch KBC my sister snatched the remote from me and declared that she wanted to watch "Woh Rehne Waali aasmanon ki" or some crap like that. When I gave her one of my looks (the kind of look which said "u know. It’s not too late. I can still take you to a good doctor and u will be all right in a couple of days"). That was when I got my second shock when she said "please yaar.I have been watching it for the past five months"... (Errr.is there anyway that u can divorce a sibling??). And she put me through the torture and I had to sit and watch that serial.

Well this is how the story of this megaaaaa serial goes. (I got the whole story by just watching one episode). There is this guy whose horoscope says that the girl whom he marries will die within 40 days. He loves some woman and because he obviously doesn’t want her to die he marries this other woman (who by the way is called pari (fairy in Hindi)...I have always wondered why the protagonist in these soaps is always called by names like tulsi, paarvathi, sita, kumkum, Devi. I mean seriously get a life. There are also people who are called revathi, shruthi etc and trust me they are not all that bad ;)). well anyway so he marries this pari female who is the epitome of sincerity, peace, patience and love (obviously!!) who keeps smiling even though she knows that the bastard married her because he wanted her to die. I mean seriously how can u keep smiling diabetically when u know that 40 days later u r going to die. Well anyway so this is the story. and oh by the way these 40 days started 5 months ago (when my sis started watching it) and still a day or two of this disgusting pari's life are left (which I am
sure will stretch for a month).

well anyway so this pari is so sweet that she changes bastard and makes him fall in love with her and so my sister is watching the serial because she wants bastard and pari to fall in love and obviously because she is the main heroine she must live and hence the 40 day theory is shit and since she is loveliness personified she gets the man she wants (all this does not deter my sis from watching). well anyway I wouldn’t be so irritated if these soaps were a real realistic(am sorry did I just use realistic and soap in the same sentence?? I must wash my mouth with soap. pun unintended).

Well anyway,
how is it that when I get up in the morning I find

1. Half my hair on the pillow
2. A new pimple on my face
3. My remaining hair standing in four different directions at unnatural angles
4. Dirt on the corners of my eyes
5. Dark circles under my eyes
6. My pjs absolutely crumpled and smudged with orange juice, sambhar etc…

and how is it that when pari gets up in the morning she finds

1. Blush on her cheeks (attributed to extra rouge)
2. Her lipstick still intact
3. Her fake eyelashes and eyeliner absolutely in place without smudging
4. Her hair perfectly made without a strand outta place
5. Her silk nightie looking the way it does in showrooms
6. The standard smile on her face

And all this after bastard makes her sleep on the floor because he does not want to share a bed with her!!

puhlease!!!!!seriously sometimes I think ekkkktaaaa kkaappooorr(I dunno what the latest spelling of her name is. this is the last one I know according to numerology) thinks she is making these serials for monkeys and not human beings. actually I think monkeys must have more IQ than people who watch these serials(sis I did not mean U..really..I swear;))..

well this post is getting way too long. I will be back soon with Mega Serials- Part II where I will delve into the various illogical repetitive and unbearable scenes of WRWAK(if u r blinking then all I can say is Duh!!dumbo.that is the short form of Woh Rehne waali aasmanon ki)

Ciao for now!!