Saturday, November 24, 2007

Home Sick

I want to go home. All of a sudden I am feeling really really home sick and right now I just want to quit my job, take the next train to Jamnagar and go home. It’s been 7 years since I left home to pursue my education, then a job and I have enjoyed every minute of staying in Chennai these 7 years but suddenly, though I completely hate Jamnagar from the bottom of my heart I cannot deny the fact that it is home and I so want to go there right now. (I was atleast hoping to spend some time at home after graduation but after staying at home for 15 days I got a call from Cognizant to join them. I joined work on June 1st after finishing my exams on May 11th!! :-\)

Right now I want to be able to sleep till 8, wake up to my mom shouting and calling me for breakfast, listen to my dad getting ready to office (yeah!! I love “listening” to him go to office. Its so much more fun than actually looking at him go to office. “Where’s my shoe, where are my socks, where’s my lunch, where are my car keys, ooouuuccch who left this hair pin in the middle of the drawing room, I almost killed myself stepping on it” are some of the sounds you will definitely get to hear in my house on any given weekday morning). I want to be able to eat a good breakfast, want to hear my mother say “you have lost so much of weight. U should eat green vegetables...blah blah” though I closely resemble a baby elephant.

I want to go back to the time when my sister and I used to fight everyday in the morning before going to school. We fought to decide whose hair amma would plait first, who would take bath first, we fought to decide which pair of socks were hers and which were mine (“you liar!! These are mine. See this bit of mud on the corner. That happened in PT class yesterday”. “you pig. I am sure u must have lost ur pair of socks and put this bit of mud on mine” “oh!! Don’t be lame. Anyway check out the new elastic on this pair of socks. Yours always sag. Mine always stay tight”), fought to decide which ribbons were mine and which were hers (yeah!! We had to wear black color ribbons to school and I will confess I always lost mine and pilfered my sister’s.), fought to decide who would have the first dosa in the morning for breakfast, who would make the bed in the morning. We fought for everything. Right now I make my own bed, we make our own hair we don’t wear socks or ribbons, she makes her own dosa (in fact whenever I visit her she has always been magnanimous and always offers me the first dosa!! It’s no fun fighting with her anymore).

Even as i write this my sister is in clacutta, my dad is in jamnagar, my mom is in bombay and i am sitting here in chennai. if dad were in delhi i could have said four of us live in four corners of india. ok!! sad joke i know but then i am not feeling particularly cheerful at present!! :-\

Yeah its fun living on ur own, fending for urself, staying with friends, etc but when I look at some of my colleagues who come from home, who bring lunches made by their mothers, talk about how they fought with their siblings in the morning I feel so jealous and wonder why software companies are so apprehensive about opening branches in a godforsaken place like jamnagar. And the funny part is that most of these colleagues envy me because I get to stay alone, have more freedom than they do etc. Sigh!!!

I love my life as it is now but I would give anything in this world to be able to spend one month with my parents right now. Sigh!! If wishes were horses the Revathi’s of this world would ride!!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Spring Cleaning - I

This is a blog which I wrote on sulekha a looooooong time back. I keep forgetting my id and password and the name of my page on sulekha and i didnt want to lose this so I just thought I would post it here!! Hope u guys like it!! ;)

The last time I went home my mother decided that since she had help (yeah!! I am talking about me. I can be a help at times too. I am not always a pest. Sometimes I try being nice and helpful for a change) she decided she would do the spring cleaning she had been wanting to do for a long time but had been putting off because of lack of help.
So one bright Sunday morning I was woken up by my parents and we started cleaning. Let me start with each room

(If we finish off the kitchen first then I can cook and u and appa can clean the rest my mom suggested)

I started emptying the shelves and asking amma if she needed the stuff or wanted to throw it

Me : ( holding up a tablespoon with no handle and just the scoop part of it): amma...why do u need this?? I mean what purpose does it solve??

Amma: ila ila...keep it. I use it to keep oil, leftover paruppu and sometimes water and besides I would never throw it she says her eyes misting. those were the vessels appa gave me when I got married in 1982. appa is no more at least I can keep the vessels

me:(thinks): with all due respect to thatha I think he would be infinitely happier if amma had used a bowl to store oil,paruppu and water and not a broken table spoon!

Me: (says): right!! ok

later as we proceeded to clean the kitchen I unearthed 13 dabbas with red lids(only six of them actually containing stuff,the rest empty), 6 horlicks bottle (4 with caps,2 without caps, all empty), old dabbas of kerosene, some million rags to clean the kitchen (the blue one is for oil, the red one is for dry stuff, the white one is for water and the magenta one is to clean the gas my mother explains) loads of those free glasses u get with gulab jamun mix, lots of plastic dabbas from eat outs(no no.dont throw them.keep them.tomorrow when u r going back to Chennai those will be helpful to pack food for u she says. its a different thing that she ultimately decides to use zip lock bags to pack food but she wont throw them. I can’t go running around searching for them when I need them, so just let them be she argues)
I don’t understand my mother's fixation with wanting to keep the most useless of things without throwing them. loads of plastic spoons, empty tin dabbas and plastic dabbas all to be used at a later time


my dad and I started cleaning the bookshelf. as usual I had to bring down each book and ask him if he wanted it.
he has three shelves of readers digest and three more of national geographic.

me: appa why do u need a readers digest dated 1962

appa: oh my god. is it still here? I thought we lost it while shifting. give it here.
I oblige

appa: wow!! imagine a time when readers digest were only 4 rupees and I used to beg appa to lend me 4 rupees every month so I could buy these.

he goes into the nostalgia mode, smells the digest and starts reading. we have been living in the same house for the past four years and he has not realized the existence of the book but he wants to keep it...

me: appa please!! a national geographic dated 1983???this is heights of madness!!

appa: show me show me!! children these days, no appreciation for nature. look at this issue. did u know that the African grey hornbill advertises its presence with a pee-o pee-o pee-o call and it can also be used as a mating call???look here are the pictures

me (thinks): what???how does it affect me how the African grey hornbill shouts and woos its girlfriend???please!!

me: hmmm

The next are baby books("how to understand ur baby", "being a mother and more" , "pregnancy and motherhood" , "loving ur child" were some of the names) which were gifted lovingly to my mother thinking that she would be blessed with angelic babies (since she wasn’t, the books remain unopened waiting to be passed on to my sister hoping at least she would produce angelic babies!! so they stay too!!)

ultimately after we were done with the bookshelf I only thing I threw away was one subscription offer for national geo (he wanted me to keep that too but i convinced him whe n i showed him the text on it which said "hurry...offer closes on dec 31st 1986" :-\ )

Store Room:

this was the worst. with absolutely 0 exaggeration the following were the items we found in the store room (which have been collecting dust for the past gazillion years). the text in italics are my parents' reaction when I told them I am going to throw the stuff

1. two cycle pumps (one without the handle and the other without a nozzle). FYI we don’t have a cycle at home.amma gave my cycle away in 2001. (suppose we buy a cycle where will we go searching for a pump??)

2. three cycle tyres (all punctured. no don’t throw them. if the washer comes off from under the centre table or the stool we can cut pieces of cycle tyre and use them as a washer for the centre table!!)

3.some 20 pairs of shoes right from the squeaky ones which my sister wore when she started walking and I wore when I started walking (if preethi has a kid tomorrow it will be like a family heirloom and the child will get a feeling of attachment. I do not express my apprehensions and tell them that the only thing the child will get is psoriasis if it wears slippers whose rightful position is the archaeological department - Mumbai or antique collectors club)

4. some 15-16 pairs of mismatched rat eaten socks. (don’t u dare throw them!! we can put bits of soap into each of the socks and it can be very handy in cleaning the kitchen sink!!)

5. my sister’s broken pram (I have been meaning to fix it up. yeah right!! he has been meaning to do it from 1988) or eight curtain rods(no no. its good steel. will help me fix up the pram)

7. 5 boxes of shoe polish(1 brown, 4black and all dry. Keep them. We can use kerosene to make them usable again)

8. to support 5 boxes of shoe polish mentioned above we have 5 tins of kerosene!!

phew!! that’s when I stopped counting and told my parents that I had had enough of spring cleaning. in part II I will re count the other things I discovered(unearthed) from the bedrooms and bathrooms. they deserve a separate post!! so if u haven’t slept off or moved on to the next blog and are still bravely reading this then please be as patient as u have been and read Spring Cleaning part II as well!! ;)

Monday, November 19, 2007

Foul Feet!!!

I have been suffering from terrible foot odor problem for the past 2 weeks. I have no clue why. So much so that when I went to watch Vel with my sister she refused to sit beside me. It was that bad. And because she didn’t have a choice she watched the entire movie with her nose closed with the help of her dupatta. I consoled myself saying that maybe it was because of the movie and maybe she was afraid she would barf if surya’s mom started crying again. She tells me her holding her breath had nothing to do with surya’s mom and everything to do with my stinky feet!! :(
i dunno the reason why my foot is behaving so strangely. I have tried everything. I apply sweet smelling Vaseline on my feet every morning but by the time I reach the fag end of the day my feet smell like mike tyson’s under arms after a fight. (Errrr. Not that I go around smelling people’s underarms but I am just assuming that mike tysons underarms after a fight wont smell like a new born baby. No offense meant to u mikey!!)
after ruminating on this issue for a day or two I thought I would google about it and find out what is this disease I am suffering from. I found the following reasons on this site.

Foot odor often results from wearing shoes and/or socks, especially shoes or socks with inadequate air ventilation, for many hours

Now I don’t wear shoes and socks. Irony is that when I did wear shoes and socks in school I never had this problem. My feet always smelt like a lily!! (author thanking god that there is no way people can affirm this statement!! ;)) . I wear ur normal floaters or sandals which are very open, highly ventilated and do not stink unless u want them to (meaning if u intentionally/accidentally go put ur leg into a manhole or something). So I ruled this option out.

Since human feet are densely covered with sweat glands (and men have larger feet and sweat more), excessive perspiration of the feet is the result

Now I stay in the AC from the time I get up to the time I go home. I do NOT sweat during the day and as far as I can remember though I sweat like a pig, my feet never perspire. They have always been dry. And errr. I hope u noticed the fact that only men have larger feet and sweat more. I am just ur dainty delicate little girl (really!!!) and my feet are really small and don’t sweat!!! So strike two

As physical activity increases, foot perspiration, bacterial growth, and bacterial waste production all increase, causing odor to intensify. Hair on the feet, especially on the toes, may also add to odor intensity by adding increased surface area for the bacteria to thrive in.

Now right now in my life I do 0 physical activity. I don’t exert myself AT ALL. The only physical activity I do is carrying my lunch plate from the counter to the table where I eat. I am putting on unimaginable amounts of weight. No offense meant to the CFO of my company but I squirm everyday when I log on to ch1 and see his blog title which reads “Here at cognizant u grow” and a voice inside me tells me “Ha ha!! He is talking about u fatso!!” and I realise that he is right and I am growing (not literally but what the hell it is growing that matters right??). so excessive physical activity also cannot be the reason. And no I don’t have hair on my feet. And I am not a grizzly bear so no hair on my head and no hair on my feet either.

I visited a lot of other sites and all of them either mentioned dirty socks, excessive sweating or hairy feet as the reason. Not the one to give up I looked up the remedy for foot odor. And I found this

· wear well-ventilated shoes instead of very constrictive shoes, such as boots
· always wear socks, preferably made of cotton or other absorbent materials that absorb a lot of the sweat so the bacteria can't feed on it
· change your socks a few times a day
· buy some absorbent Odor-Eater type shoe inserts
· apply an antiperspirant to your feet

very helpful!!!! :.. the first four points didn’t apply to me obviously. So for the past 2 days everyday in the morning I have been liberally dousing my feet in perfume and spraying so much deo that the makers of Charlie don’t have to worry about their sales dropping or anything.
It hasn’t helped. If anything Charlie has mixed with the odor causing bacteria thereby producing a smell which I think can be used on inmates on the death row to ensure a painless and instantaneous death. Jokes apart an awful and asphyxiating smell emanates from my feet which would have killed me had I not been holding my breath.
I am at a loss. I dunno what to do. I have tried changing my shoes, tried good quality sandals, poor quality sandals. If this persists I am thinking I m going to start coming to office bare feet.

have any of u suffered from a similar problem? if yes and if u have found a solution please do revert back to me. i am at my wits end and would be really glad if i could get rid of this problem!! :(

Friday, November 16, 2007


Ok shoaib malik. Ok. We agree you are a professional and we also agree that u have to live with it. But frankly u didn’t have to tell us the same thing, three times on national TV. We heard u the first time u said it. Even if we hadn’t heard u then, we heard u the second time. But no!! u had to say it again the third time. And I ll let u in on a secret. Hindi is the national language of India. U didn’t have to necessarily speak in English and make a fool of yourself. You could have spoken in hindi and we would have understood u much better. Actually u could have spoken in Hindi, Urdu, Pashto, Swahili or any language which pleased u coz we don’t care a damn about what u have to say. India won the match and its all that matters to us. We don’t really care if u r a professional and if u can live with it!! ;)
For people who have no clue what I am talking about u should have heard shoaib malik’s presentation speech in the fourth ODI at gwalior. Hilarious it was!! Poor fellow. Kept saying the same thing again and again. Lol.

I read this article and it psyched the day lights outta me. Every time I snap my hair into place with a rubber band I keep imagining that I am going to contract syphilis, gonorrhea or AIDS. Heights of recycling I say. What next?? Maybe next china will come up with an “innovative” idea that car seats and car tyres can be made using used C******!! Ewwwww!! I wonder who gets ideas like this. Hmmmm

One more thing. Just yesterday I saw a stray red dot on my cluster map in the middle of the sea (to the left of north ameirca) and I was really intrigued. I went to google maps and I have discovered that I have a reader from Honolulu!!!! :). I dunno why but it really thrills me to know that there is someone in Honolulu who has read my blog. Whoever you are thanks a lot!!

I am in a really happy mood today. Maybe because it Friday!! :)

Yay!!! Its Friday. Two days of peace, joy and happiness!!! Om shanti Om and Saawariyaaaa. Here I come!!!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Holiday Hangover

Its Monday morning and Monday morning blues have never been as pronounced as they are today. I hate long weekends. They get over so soon. It just seems like yesterday that I boarded the train to go to Bangalore on Wednesday night and now I am sitting in this cubicle and its Monday morning already. Sigh!!
I have had an absolutely fantabulous and mind blowing weekend (week actually) and coming to office today is such a spirit dampener. Like my sister says its so depressing to land at Chennai central at 4.45 in the morning (yeah the bloody train leaves Bangalore at 12 in the night and before u can close ur eyes u reach Chennai.). its like after u have served a person chocolates and ice creams and sambhar sadam, potato subzi, palak paneer and aloo parantha for four days, on the fifth day u ask him to have oats for breakfast lunch and dinner. That exactly how I am feeling now. After having visited jungles, going boating, taking long walks and long drives for 4 days now suddenly some one is rudely asking me to sit and code some nonsense which I do not understand.
So right now I look like someone who has had ten pegs of whisky last night, not slept and forgot to wash his face. I hate these holiday hangovers. I soooooooo want to write about the wonderful kabini trip and so many things which happened in the course of those four days but right now all I can think of is the fact that I have to work for 4 more days till Friday.
I wanted to put this up yesterday but never found the time because of work.
And yeah I saw Vel yesterday. Please. Even if u r given free tickets plus free popcorn plus a free chauffeur driven car to go to the theater and back just politely but firmly refuse the offer. The movie sucks BIG TIME. And people are telling me that of all the diwali tamil releases vel is the best. Ye Gads!!! Thank god I didn’t watch ATM. I almost cried out of frustration after the movie got over. Loud comedy, unnecessary songs, using women as objects of ridicule/sex/desire, absolutely no story line and irritating mothers who say aluvadhenga yaarum aluvadhenga at the drop of a hat when all they have been doing throughout the movie is cry cry and cry for a son she left on a train!!! :-| . This is vel in a nutshell. Trust me. Don’t watch it.
Will try to do a write up about my kabini trip soon. Maybe this weekend. I just wish this week flies!! :-\

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Marriage??? Naaah!!Not for me!! Thank you

What is it with all relatives and “well-wishers”. Why cant they just let me be. I just finished my engineering 6 months back and already elderly relatives and well wishers have started telling my parents that “if they are interested and if shruthi (me) is interested” they know this third cousins, brothers, neighbors son who has finished his MS in some university in US and is waiting to get married. I m NOT interested. I m 22 and yes child marriage is still banned in India. So all u people think twice before saying such things because before u know it I will report u to the police and see that u spend the rest of ur lives behind bars for getting a child married.

Jokes apart I am totally not interested. And what irritate me more are the double standards. Why is it that boys my age or those elder than me are only asked questions like “what are u planning to do next??” or “you must study further if u have to support a family” or “why don’t u switch companies. This other one I heard pays much better” and the only things which I get to hear are “there is this good boy..” or “don’t work too hard. After marriage u will have to take it easy” or “maybe u should learn to cook”. Thank god my parents haven’t yet been influenced and have turned a deaf ear to all those “eligible” alliances. Why girls?? A few days back in the metro plus there was this saying which I liked a lot which said “I am still to hear a man ask the question “how do I mange my family and work””. That is sooooo true. Don’t say hogwash like “we are modern. We are broad minded” if u think that women working after marriage is not cool or if u think that at 22 a women must marry and immediately start reproducing. We have our dreams and aspirations and we would be very glad that if they are respected.

When I tell people I don’t want to get married now or ever they don’t listen to me. They say irritating stuff like “yeah!! Thats what everyone says now but heh heh heh…. After a year or two ur outlook will completely change”. My “outlook” hasn’t changed for the past 22 years and its unlikely that it ll change now. I do not I repeat DO NOT understand the institution of marriage. If the only purpose is to have kids there are a million orphaned kids out there who would love to have a home. Why not adopt? If its companionship u r looking for get a dog. They don’t leave wet towels on the bed, they don’t scream or fight, they don’t shop, they don’t nag. In short they are perfect!!

I am perfectly comfortable in my own skin and love being alone with my books, my music and myself. I m not marriage material. I have 0 patience, am very short tempered, cant cook, hate clean houses, cant get up early if u gave me a million dollars and cant for the life of me wear a sari and sit for 4 hours in front of smoke “getting” married. Ewwww

I am sorry if this blog comes across as being irritable and peevish but that’s exactly how I am feeling right now!! And I know my blog looks sad and the quality of my posts has gone down drastically (not that the quality was very high or anything but in relative comparison I am writing really sad posts now!!). will do something to remedy that soon. Till then keep visiting!! :)