Friday, July 25, 2008

Notes

1. On a happy note, it rained today in Chennai . After 4 long days of having oppressively hot weather it rained and it felt like heaven. While everyone around me went around carrying umbrellas, I had a capital time splashing in ever y small puddle I came across, wetting my legs (and thereby allowing all kinds of germs to reside on self), humming a song, loving the feel of the little drops on my eye lashes and shivering a little. Only after it rained I realized how much I had been waiting for it to rain.

2. On a sad note, two of my closest friends who work in the same office as me have been shifted to another god forsaken office. They were my only touch/link with my college life and now that they are gone lunch will never be the same again. No more giggling sessions, no more looking at everyone and commenting, no more fight for the gulab jamoon (the only decent item on our office lunch menu). Sigh!! I am supposed to be a very change liking and accepting person. How come things in my life in which I want a change in remain the same ALWAYS?? :

3. On a distressed note, my feet have started stinking again – BIG TIME. I mean the smell had abated fairly such that only I could smell them but for the past 3 days the smell has become worse with my team mates saying “what is that disgusting smell like a rotting dead rat which hasn’t been discovered for 4 days”. I don’t have the heart to tell them that its me!! :( Guess its time for me to buy mycoderm again!! Sigh!!! why me? :(

4. On a euphoric note, a certain post written by a certain friend of mine on a certain unpleasant event which happened in my life (I cant confuse u more can i?? :P)has me grinning from ear to ear . I have fallen in love with my friend all over again (errr. in a totally platonic sense of course!! :P). Thanks a lot A!! love ya!!

5. On an important note, henko stain champion is a much much better soap than Surf excel/rin supreme bar. I never knew the white salwar which I had could actually be this white till I washed it with henko stain champion. Leaves a pleasant smell too, which is more than what can be said of my feet and shoes!! :P. so all u people out there struggling with rin supreme and wondering “itna jhaag aata hai par daag kyun nahi jaata?” throw that bar and get henko stain champion. Trust me I m no brand ambassador for henko stain champion

6. On a very serious note, a friend of mine has started an NGO which is a first of its kind called earn karma. Please do check out the site HERE. Remember all those times when u wanted to help, but didn’t whom to approach or knew someone who was in need of help and wished to raise funds but didn’t have enough contacts? Well now u have a forum which does away with those small problems. So register today and EARN KARMA!!

7. On a boastful note, Revathi Ramanan will register for the 21 km give life Chennai marathon which is being held in chennai on august 31st and whats more she even hopes to win it and buy a flight ticket to dubai to visit her sister with the prize money of 10 lakhs!! :P

8. On a surprised note, I was reading my 12th standard slam book the other day and most of my friends then have written “stay the same revs, don’t change”. I m very surprised. Even if I were given a million dollars I wouldn’t want to be the person I was in 11th and 12th. I have changed by leaps and bounds in the past 6 years. I was a nerd whose idea of entertainment was solving math problems and I wasted two golden years of my life slogging my ass out to get into BITS (which I eventually didnt). I was a silent, morose, boring, painfully shy and sad individual who wore specs, had braces and was 10 kgs overweight. Something tells me that for lack of anything better to write they wrote “don’t change” in my slam book!!

9. On a wistful note, I read THIS article and I am still hopeful that one day I shall become Mrs Clooney!!:P

10. On a sarcastic note, personally I feel the person who writes the use cases in my project might as well write them in swahili or Egyptian hieroglyphics rather than wasting his time and doing it in english. Would be easier for me to translate hieroglyphics and symbols rather than trying to understand what the hell is it that he is trying to say. Seriously. It would be easier to make a 5 year old kid understand leo tolstoy’s war and peace than make me understand the use cases. (assuming that I have the IQ level of a normal 22 yr old and the 5 yr old has the IQ level of a normal 5 yr old!! :P)

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Say Cheese, Click...Oh "Snap" out of it!!

I hate posing for photographs. Well!! Not that I am a celebrity of some kind whose house is being thronged by photographers of all kinds who go “Please please come out so we might get a glimpse of u and take a picture” but the rare times that some one does actually want to take a picture of me I cringe and shy away and try to give lame excuses about how the flash blinds my eye or pretend to not notice that fact that the photographer is actually waiting to take a snap and purposely wander to a place which is devoid of photographers.

No seriously. Maybe this makes me sound like a snooty and haughty person who thinks she is too high and mighty to actually pose for a photograph with peasants but most of the times I never know what expression to give when I am being photographed. My expressions in all the photos which feature me range from “please finish taking this photo soon coz I badly need to visit the loo” expression to the “I am a model for close up toothpaste and this photo is to prove that I have 32 teeth” expression to the “I am a mean machine and I eat small photographers for breakfast and the big ones for lunch” expression.

I have some friends who are naturals when it comes to posing for a photograph. I envy them and I wonder how they manage to strike the right expression at all times and how their face automatically curves into a smile while my attempts to smile result in leaving a constipated expression on my face and a pain in my jaw due to the forceful smile. There are a lot of occasions where I am stumped as to what expression to give

1. Marriages:
Now what do u do when u go to the wedding of a person you don’t know very well? You go up on stage, give the gift all the time hoping and praying that the photographer doesn’t grin and say “one minute photo please” and the minute u finish ur prayer u hear a voice saying “one minute photo please” and u stand there wondering what to do with ur hands. Do u put them around the arm of the person next to u – but wouldn’t that look too informal? or do u fold ur hands across ur chest and stare stupidly into the camera (my standard and favorite expression which I have mastered after years of practice and attending useless weddings) but wouldn’t that look too unfriendly? Or do leave ur hands by your side – but hey this is a wedding not the national anthem being played at the republic day parade that u need to stand in attention. So every time I attend weddings I try to hide behind a horizontally challenged person (read: fat) so that I don’t feature in them snaps!!

2. Eating at marriages:
This is by far the most uncomfortable and irritating situation ever. All the times when you sit to eat the wonderful marriage food and wonder if you should drink the payasam first or attack the bisibelebath first and are trying to solve this delectable confusion, the second vilest threat to mankind (the first place goes to… brokers) a.k.a photographers and video men will materialize from no where, put a blinding light on your face and try to capture a picture of you eating there by broadcasting ur eating habits to the entire world (the world wasn’t supposed to know that u put all five fingers into ur mouth when u eat!! :rolling eyes:)

And all the time you are left to wonder what you should do. Should u eat like a glutton unmindful of the camera – but jeez!! What if geroge Clooney stumbled across this video one day and decide against marrying u saying u had disgusting eating habits? Or should u just stop eating and look into the camera and stare stupidly – but wouldn’t that be too artificial and wouldn’t people think u r trying to hog the limelight? Or should you eat daintily just picking at the food and pretending that the bisibelebath and aloo sabzi are trivial things for a person with your level of sophistication? Naaah? Given my level of “sophistication” (the most sophisticated I can get is using one straw to drink milkshake rather than using two of them and inserting them into my nostrils!!) I could never do that. So most of these marriage videos which feature me capture me with food on my hands and a stupid expression on my face.

To all u dorks who are going “ha ha!! Yeah right. Like u have an intelligent expression on ur face all the time” I am going to show u how sophisticated and intelligent I am – Author putting out her tongue at the audience and going Uuuuuuuuuuuu!! :P Humph!! Now if that’s not sophisticated and intelligent I dunno what is. :-\

3. group photos:
Now I have close to 8 gb of photographs of college life which is close to some 1000 odd snaps and only about 100 of them feature me. All through college I enjoyed being the photographer rather than being a part of the photo. All through college two words which I dreaded the most weren’t “internals” or “results” but “say cheese”. The photos which were taken without my knowledge were ok because I didn’t actually have to strive for an expression. But as soon as someone asked me to pose I would become conscious and try to achieve what looked like a smile but what finally came in the photo was a cross between a grin and a smile which would look so artificial that people would look at the photo and go “you spoilt the entire photograph man. Everyone is smiling and you look like a person who has escaped from rehab and badly wants a bottle of liquor”.
Not my fault. I just wasn’t born with the “smile-when-someone-clicks-a-camera-gene” in my body

I just hope the day George (Clooney) asks for my hand in marriage he agrees for a quiet ceremony and does not insist on a huge wedding inviting everyone and being photographed because I HATE being photographed and posing for snaps!! :P

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Tagged!!

Aravind has tagged me and because i am as occupied and as busy as a 90 year old woman and have as much work to do as Parthik Patel does in the indian cricket team this weekend i decided to do it. So here goes the taggg!!

6 whatever’s about me:

1. I have two completely contrasting personalities. Revs-1 is a brooding, morose, silent person who speaks only when she is spoken to, doesn’t like the presence of people around her, wants her personal space and enjoys solitude.
Revs-2 is jolly, extremely talkative, speaks all the time, silly, needs to have people around her all the time and can get depressed when she is alone.
People who know Revs-1 cant believe that Revs-2 exists and vice versa. Mt attempts to merge these two personalities have not succeeded.

2. I am extremely scared of sharp things and fire. Surprisingly when I am holding a knife or a candle I am not scared but I get the heebie jeebies when someone else holds a knife or candle.

3. I suffer or rather used to suffer from severe obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) but thanks to a friend of mine who told me about it, its under control. I used to do crazy things like
--I have this fear of odd numbers. I dunno why. When I get into the bus I try to make sure there are even number of people in the bus. When I am walking from one place to another I count the number of steps in between and if its an odd number I decide I am going to have a crappy day.
--I cant stand it if one hand of mine is wet and the other is dry. I feel the need to necessarily wet my other hand too. Apparently this is because people suffering from OCD need to have a feeling of evenness
--I also have this obsessive habit of adding up the numbers on all the number plates of the vehicles I see. There have been times when I have ignored a signal change and gone on adding the numbers
--if I see a square flooring I do the knight walk. I dunno why but involuntarily I take three steps forward two steps right when I am on a square flooring.
--I have this obsessive spell check habit. If I am typing on MS Word I HATE the red and green squiggly lines I see. I have this habit of doing away with all the errors however small and silly they are. Most of the time I end up doing an ignore all but still I must do it
And many other such weird habits.

4. I don’t dream. I have never had a single dream till date. People tell me that I dream but I don’t remember them but personally I think I don’t dream at all

5. I am a very very very absent minded. I pull push doors and push pull doors, in the rest room once I dropped my cell into the dust bin and put my tissue into my bag, weekly at least twice I board bus no 38 though the bus which goes to my place is bus no 39 and I end up walking at least a km everyday, I cant carry two things. If I carry my handbag and another bag I misplace one of the two, if I carry my handbag and a pen or book more often than not I will lose the book. Sometimes I think I lack a brain.

6. I hate milk. I cant stand the sight, color and smell of milk. In spite of threats from my mother who says if I carry on like this all my bones will crumble and fall due to osteoporosis at the age of 30 and I ll die a premature death I find myself unable to assimilate the goo.

5 things I miss right now:

college life. My carefree existence. My friends. My room. My room mate. My warden. The hostel food. The hostel dog ganguly. The snake catching pit behind our hostel. Our gossip talking nook behind the mess. The culturals. The symposiums. The crazy night outs. The insane semester exams. Makku. Watching 5 movies a day. sleeping till 1 in the afternoon. The trip to stores. The walks to the temple. The miserable cup noodles. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I wish I could go back to college.

errrr. That’s 20 things I miss right now. I hope that’s ok.

10 things I wanna achieve in a decade:

Achieve?? Naaah!! I don’t like that word. Makes me feel like Anil Ambani. I have small dreams which I hope to fulfill by the time I reach the age of 35 and they are:

1. To go on a tour of India with nothing but a backpack with four pairs of clothes, a good pair of shoes, some friends and some money. To climb all the mountains, at least those in India. To go on a trip to the north east and see arunachal Pradesh, imphal etc.
2. to go bungee jumping
3. to do scuba diving and go in a submarine
4. to adopt a girl child
5. try my level best to not get married
6. to start an NGO
7. to start and be the editor of a good youth magazine
8. Build an independent house with a large library with all my favorite books and huge couch for me to sit and read all day, a small garden lined with flowers of all kinds, a white picket fence, a swing and slide in the back yard for my little girl to play in and a golden retriever called Popeye in one of the following places. Goa, Chennai, Pune, Bangalore.
9.To ride a black bike wearing black clothes, a black helmet on ECR in the dead of the night and to learn to drive a car.
10. Earn a lot of money to be able to do all the above!! ;)

I have already done the boring book tag so I am skipping it. I tag the following people

Kilpauk Mental (Have fun. I cant wait for ur tag and the crazy answers!! :))
Jass (Muwhahahahahahaha)
Sree
Sowmini

Monday, July 07, 2008

Lessons learnt by Revs - Part II

1. Sometimes little things which you do can make people really happy and you don’t even realize it, until they write or tell you about it. So I have been going around feeling as benevolent as mother Teresa, though I haven’t done a thing but because someone else thought I did!! :)


2. Never make new year resolutions. I have shamelessly gone and broken all my new year resolutions. I am PATHETIC. Earlier this year I promised myself that I would be nice to everyone, write accounts and do more of what I like and I have broken all of them.


--I was rude to a really really nice person and u know what’s the worst thing about being rude to a nice person? The nice person doesn’t mind it and says “Naaah. That’s ok!!” and gives a benevolent smile when u apologize to them making u feel lower than Mallika Sherwat’s neck line, lower than the blood levels in Vijay mallya’s alcohol stream, lower than the lowest form of aquatic life which resides in the marina trench of the pacific ocean (errrr.. the lowest point in the earth). Sigh!!! you get the drift?? Really low!!


--I stopped writing accounts two months back and my finances have again gone for a toss. I withdraw whenever I feel like and I have been doing quite a bit of withdrawing and my account looks malnourished as usual. When I was writing accounts there was some kind of control which doesn’t exist now.


PJ: what’s the similarity between Revathi’s bank account and Kareena Kapoor
Answer: both of them are a size zero!! Ha ha ha ha!!
Sad joke!! but then I am a sad person!!


--And despite lofty promises to self I have hardly been doing the things I like. And in fact I have been doing the things I dislike more and more. :(
--The only resolution which I have been keeping successfully is reading books. I have been religiously reading good fiction and spent most of my salary buying books, reading and re reading them but sigh that’s one resolution which I knew I would have no trouble keeping, given my inexplicable love for books. I always take time out to read however busy I am. Always!!! Its like taking a resolution to brush daily (I really do guys!! Cross my heart and hope to die!! )


3. It is not a very good idea to listen to music when you are working. Last week I was listening to “Love me Tonight” by John Denver and without realizing while listening to the song, I went “Kick of your shoes, turn of the lights, love me tonight”. Apparently I was really really loud and the men in my team have been maintaining a safe distance ever since. Sigh!!! I wonder what they think about me!!


4. It is best to read and re read your mails before u send them to others. Yesterday I had to send a mail to a team mate saying “Hi XYZ, mandatory fields have to be marked in blah blah use case” and I ended up sending “Hi XYZ, mandatory fields have to be naked in blah blah use case”. And I quickly scanned the mail for read marks and not seeing any I sent it and needless to say was the butt of all jokes the whole day with some perverts asking me what pleasure I got out of looking at naked mandatory fields!! :


5. Never grow up – It sucks: Lately I have been reading asterix and tintin comics over and over again thanks to my 9 year old cousin (I added the word cousin while re reading the post and editing it. before that, it read “thanks to my 9 year old who seems…!! Eeeeeks!! Thank god I corrected my own mistake!!:P) who seems to have taken a fancy to it. I completely LOVE asterix. Every time I read I am like “oh my god!! Now where does this guy get his sense of humor from?”. Will I ever grow up and stop reading asterix, tintin, archies and tinkle? I hope I never do.


6. Be careful what title you give your posts. I have been following Feedjit carefully for the past 1 month and I noticed that I had maximum visitors for this post. Not that my other posts are great or deserve to be read but this one is definitely not one of my good posts. A little bit of sleuthing ke baad I found out that when u say “lost my orkut account” in google the first link that google throws up is GBCI!! Eeeps!! Sigh!! no wonder I got so many visitors for that post. The number of people whose life orkut rules must be slightly more than the hair on TR’s face, slightly more than the number of pimples on my face and almost equal to jayalalitha’s weight. You get the drift? So I am sure that every day there must be at least a few addicted souls (whose idea of entertainment is refreshing their orkut page to check for scraps, idea of fun is replying to scraps and idea of passing away time is checking out the profiles on unknown people) who lose their orkut account who must be visiting my page!! Hmmm


7. I have decided. I don’t want to get married and I don’t want to study further. I want to go trekking and climb all the mountains in india. Sigh!! I just came back from a weekend trek to tada and it was amazing!! sigh!! will upload someone's pics soon!!


8. It’s a bad bad idea to say “Jeez!! Go jump into a well. You depress me” to a person who is depressed. They, I have noticed, don’t like it. my relationship with a certain friend of mine is at its breaking point coz I couldn’t really understand her mood swings and depression and wasn’t patient enough to listen her out. :S

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Me, my family and other Animals!! :P

1. With my sister gone, I feel completely uninspired to write. If you are completely out of your mind (read: if u have been following my blog for an year) you might have noticed that most of posts revolve around my sister, her husband, her house, her habits etc. When she was here she would give me so much of fodder to write humor. Everything she did or did not do would make me laugh. Her non existent IQ, her silly expressions, her stupid talk, her obsessive compulsive cleaning disorder, her insane conversations with my BIL.. Sample the following conversations between my sis and bil

Sis: its your turn to make the bed today.
BIL: mmmm ok
(after half an hour)
Sis: I noticed 4 creases in the bed sheet and my pillow is at an angle of 30 degrees to your pillow and you have folded the bed sheets inside out.
BIL: duh?

And she would proceed to do the whole thing again. I never did understand why she made him do it first because she would invariably find some fault and do it again. My BIL at least would try. I would deliberately make a mess of it because I figured that when she was anyway going to do it again what is the point of me doing it.
She would give me so much to write about and it is not a coincidence that since she has left for dubai I have been writing sad posts!!

2. my mother whenever she calls nowadays doesn’t talk. She only squeals in excitement. She goes “eeeeeeeeeee shruthi, wheeeeeeeeee. Oh my god we went to the niagra falls yesterdayyyy and I cant tell u how wonderful it was. We went behind the falls in this ferry called maid of the mist. Ooooohhh shruthi!! You should have come” or “Shruthiii, today we went and saw the place where wordsworth sat and wrote his poem on daffodils, we saw shakespeare’s village and it was sooooo much fun”. She sounds like a happy 5 year old who has finally been given a chocolate and taken to the circus and seen a clown. My father composed and serene as ever goes “hmmm. Nice place. I played a little but of golf and have been reading quite a bit”.

Their contrasting characters never fail to amaze me. My mother is this round ball of never ending energy and enthusiasm, always excited and always raring to go and do something. She joined dance classes some time last year and an year before that she was studying vedic mathematics and learning telugu in correspondence. At the age of 44 she went on a 25 km cycle trek on rough terrains, up the mountain and my dad and her were the only people above 30 to complete it. Knowing hindi, english and tamil well she helps translate books from tamil to English and hindi to English for this NGO called AID india. She lives life on her own terms and what a life she lives!!! I feel stupid, lazy, incapable of doing anything and uninspired when I compare myself to her. Coming to appa he is this laid back, relaxed, take life as it comes almost saintly person who enjoys a good book, piping hot coffee and my mothers company. I will never be able to understand how two people with such contrasting personalities exist together. Anyway they seem to be having a great time in the US and UK. I am glad.

3. my cousin sister has gotten admission in Amrita Coimbatore and she leaves for Coimbatore in another two days. For the past 2 weeks we have been shopping and packing and buying stuff for her to take there. I am the most excited person. I know how exciting it is to go to a new place, meet new people, set up your room in hostel, get ragged, eat miserable hostel food, be homesick, cry, make friendships, break them, wash your own clothes and sigh!! A part of me is jealous of my sister. I wish it was me instead of her going to hostel and back to college. I wish it was me people were giving advice to saying stuff like “be careful about the friends you make, study well and be careful of ur stuff in hostel”, I wish it were me going to Coimbatore (a place I have never been to though I remember getting admission into CIT- chemical engineering, but later dropping it.) to start a new life, I wish I was going to study there and not just drop her off. She is feeling quite apprehensive and I hope she makes a great set of friends because frankly in college friends is what matters. Studies, I personally think are a very very trivial part of college, something which I don’t remember doing at all except the night before exams. I hope she has fun because that’s what college is all about.

4. I look at my grandmother and I feel sad. I hate old age. There is no one in this world I love more than her and every time I look at her, the fact that she is not getting any younger and that each of her siblings are suffering from some ailment and not surviving it, is very very unsettling. Though a part of me refuses to accept it, I know that there will be a certain weekend when I wont be able to say “Na paati veetuku poren”, that there will be a day when she wont twist my ears and say “thayir sadam saapdu. Odambu naiya irruka”, that there will be a day when I wont see her wearing over sized spectacles, a pale violet saree, sitting on the floor and reading anandha vikatan or talking on the phone. The more I force myself to not think about it, the more I find myself thinking about things which I would be much better off not thinking about. Sigh!!!

5. I have been bugging the shit out of people for the past 3 months by writing and subjecting them to sad poetry written by yours truly. A friend of mine bought a car and I wrote a poem for him, another friend got engaged and I wrote a poem for him and yet another friend of mine has lost his marbles after I started writing sad poetry about him because now even he has started writing poetry. I wish i could copy paste some of that stuff here but all the poems are errr kind of personal and if the concerned person were to know that i am making it public like this i would cease to exist!! :-\ The result of all the curses which I am sure I would have received from the afore mentioned people is that the coding phase of the next stage of my project starts soon and sigh!!! This means no more useless chats on the office communicator, no more sad poetry, no more blogging and no more calvin and hobbes in office hours!!! Back to dreaming about Java, JSP and servlet pages, back to drinking 11 cups of tea in 11 hours, back to blank eyed stares at the Null pointer exceptions and quick 10 minute lunches. oh Java!! how much i hate you!! :(

P.S: please check out the photos of our skandagiri trek here. i havent taken any of these!! these are a compilation of the best pics!! :)
SKANDAGIRI SNAPS