Monday, February 23, 2009

Of chaddis, Delhi 6, infinite loops and other bakwaas!!

1. I saw exactly 57 chaddis in bangalore this weekend. I mean what is it with people in bangalore and showing chaddis. I mean c'mon man!! You can hardly sit in an ice cream parlor, restaurant, theatre or mall without beholding at least 3,4 chaddis around you. Maybe i am old fashioned, maybe i am so archaic and ancient that i m scandalized at the sight of a mere 50 gram chaddi peeping out of pants so low i cant believe they actually stand up there, but i liked the days when chaddis were something very personal, were not sent to politicians when u were offended with them, were not brands but were just u know chaddis. sighhh!!

2. All you people out there who are planning to watch Delhi 6 one wise word of caution from this wise girl!! :P (okk!! the me being wise part was a joke but not the wise word of caution part). It is a TERRIBLE movie. I wasted 165 bucks to watch the movie in a seedy theatre called "Urvasi" theatre in bangalore and since yesterday i have been unable to sleep just thinking about all the things i could have done with 165 bucks at the end of the month. And it doesnt help when you have friends who tell you "165 bucks??tch tch. you could have fed 4 kids in somalia for that money."But seriously. I dont know what Rakyesh Omprakash mehra was thinking when he made the movie. now RDB was a wholesome entertainer but Delhi 6 is a sloth fest with such a horrific climax it makes u wonder if this was made by a first time director. Trust me Vijaykanth's movies where just a "tambalam" would prevent our captain from getting hurt seemed much more logical than the climax of Delhi 6. The music seems to be wasted on such a good movie. The songs hardly play for 30 seconds each and Abhishek irritating-fake-accent Bacchan makes sure he gets on ur nerves every time he opens his mouth to talk in English. Dear AB jr, rolling your r's when u say serious and works DOES NOT constitute an american accent. It seems like the director started making the movie, hired ARR (he won 2 oscars!! woo hoo!! :)) to make some FANTABULOUS music, made AB jr work on his crappy accent and after shooting 10 minutes of the movie he realised "Ooops!! no story", after 20 mins he realised "Ooops!! no climax", after half an hour realised "Oooops, American accent doesnt work" and then just because he had spent so much decided to go on and continue making the movie using the monkey man (Kaala Bandar) concept. The movie is also a walking adverisement for motorola and IBN. every frame has either one of these products. Untouchabliltiy, Casteism, Family feuds, Unmarried girl being a stigma, Girl getting married against her wishes, Grandmother wanting to die in "apni mitti", showing the pathetic state of Indian traffic and calling that "real" India is all passe and cliched Mr.Mehra. Seriously, i expected much more from you and i am very disappointed with Delhi 6.

3. Sowrangutan who had promised to meet me this weekend decided to ditch me in the last minute citing lame excuses. I still cant believe that someone would want to meet an architect when they have the opportunity to meet me!! :P. Something tells me I intimidated the little (in the literal sense. I hear she is not more than 4 feet tall) kid and she was just scared to meet me!! Or maybe because she met Goof and S3 she kind of developed an image in her head of the kind of people all the Chennai bloggers are and hence refused to meet me!! :P

What the real reason is I never shall know!! :P

4. I have eaten enough ice cream in corner house this weekend to feed 20 kids in somalia for 2 days. An year back on my first trip to banaglore i expressed an interest to eat at corner house. My friends sicne then think that eating at corner house for me is almost equivalent to having a date with George Clooney, so they play the good samaritan and without fail take me to corner house every time i visit Bangalore and watch lovingly as i wolf down the ice cream. I think i have tried all the flavors of chocolate ice cream in Corner House (which has the dubious distiction of being the place where i saw the maximum number of chaddis)

5. RK Laxman is as amazing a writer as he is a cartoonist. I bought an omnibus of his with the three books he has written and i m floored. Please do read his autobiography "The Tunnel of Time". The simple language and subtle and dry humor is brilliant and I cant put the book down. i was just wondering how proud RK Narayan and RK Laxman's parents must be of their two boys!! Pretty much the same way that my parents are NOT proud of my sister and me!!

6. A certain binary search algorithm was getting on my nerves from last Thursday, irritating me by getting stuck in an infinite loop and stubbornly refusing to do anything except crash my entire workspace. I found the bug today. I had not incremented my loop variable and i realised that it is not possible for oneself to kick their own behinds. Would someone please do the honors?? (That was a joke!! Ha ha!! :roll:)

Friday, February 20, 2009

1. I have found out that the obsessive compulsive hair pulling disorder that i have ACTUALLY has a name. I now officially suffer from trichotillomania. I think it started when i was class 12th and because of undue stress (ahem!!) due to the upcoming boards (aaaah!!) i started pulling out my hair - not in clumps (thats my sister's job to pull MY hair out in clumps!! :P) but strand by strand therby irritating everyone at home and dirtying the entire house. Over the past 7 years though i have made a conscious effort to stop it even now when i am tensed or in deep thought my hands unconsciously reach out to my hair to pull them out. I cant believe i ama maniac!! :-

I am going to stop!! oh yeah i am going to stop

2. What happens to people when they are in love? Why do they stop thinking rationally, or rather why do they stop thinking at all? Why dont they listen to reason? Why do they lie to parents - the same parents to whom they have never lied before, never hidden anything, been completely honest? Why do they break their trust? I guess I never will understand and I seem to be surrounded by people like this. And dont u dare look at me condescendingly,smirk and say "Never been in love, you will NEVER understand"

3. I just realised that unconsciously i have built circles of trust around me and every time i meet a person i place them in one of those imaginary circles. Family and 4 close friends - circle 1, good friends - circle 2, online friends - circle 3 and so on and so forth. I think consciously or unconsciously all of us do it - segregate and classify people based on how relevant they are in our lives. So much for telling everyone "Heyyy! I am not judgemental"

4. My friend A must be the only person in India to have failed a driving test. So the other day she had her driving test and when i called her later this was the conversation between us
Me: So what happened??

A: ha ha ha ha ha!!

Me: Congrats!! So all the tension was for nothing eh? You cleared it

A: Ha ha ha ha!! Noooo!! i flunked. i didnt realise the hand break was in place and tried to start the car and the car threw up. And he threw me outta the car. Ha ha ha ha

Me: Ha ha ha ha!! but errr. why are u going Ha ha ha ha ha

A: Ha ha ha ha. I dont know. Its just so funny!!

A now has the dubious distinction of being among the select few who failed a driving test in INDIA!! Sheeeesh!! I thought no one failed a driving test in India.

5. I now regret having had a wonderful childhood, great parents and a privileged life with no financial worries. For the past few months i have been filling a couple of application forms which ask me the following questions

-some acute adversity which u faced in life and how u overcame it

errrrr...the acutest adversity which i faced in my younger days was my sister and in college days was my roommate. I love both of them so didnt actually have the need to overcome them!! Does this qualify??

-Have u ever supported ur family financially?

Ha ha ha ha ha!! I am still not able to support my OWN self financially

-Have u ever availed a student loan to pursue your education


-Have you ever worked part time while getting an education to support yourself/family

Hulllllo!!! I considered getting an education as WORK!!

-Have you ever funded the education/needs of a younger sibling?

I AM the younger sibling. Now somebody fund me please!!

I mean what is it with these colleges? I filled No for all the questions asked above and I am about as sure as making it to those colleges as Pramod Muthalik is of growing some hair, moustache and brains!! Sighhh!! Its all my parents fault!! :-

6. So this weekend i am again going to Bangalore. I am not very fond of that city and it is OBVIOUS that its not a voluntary trip for pleasure though i fully intend to make it one. But since meeting Sowrangutan is on my agenda i dont know if i can really call the trip a pleasure!! :P

Aw le le le Sowrangutan!!

And be rest assured I am not bringing you gifts like a certain someone did last week!! Yours Truly is the biggest gift you will be getting!! :D

P.S: I just realised random scribbles and rants seem to be the only thing i am writing nowadays!! Its been ages since i wrote a proper review/post etc!! Hmmmm!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Last week hasnt been quite the perfect week.

Things with a friend arent going to great. As in not with regards to my relationship with her but her relationship with someone else. Thats the problem if you are real close to someone. You can almost feel their anguish and pain and i have been worrying myself sick wondering if there is absolutely anything that i can do about it. Hmmmm.

Things at home are also taking an ugly turn and after ages and ages I had a fight about a really petty issue with people at home.

I have been completely avoiding human contact as much as possible. There was a time when i would talk for at least three hours on the phone daily with certain friends in bangalore, certain friends in ayanavaram and certain other friends completely losing track of time and yapping away to glory. I just dont feel like talking anymore. So much so that i switch my cell off at night to avoid talking on the phone. Sighhh!! I never thought there would be a day when i would get tired of talking but i hate talking on the phone when i am not my usual cheerful and enthusiastic self. I mean I hate talking to crabby people and I am sure no one would have liked to talk to me these last few days.

Books and Music are my only solace now. Oh by the way one source of happiness in the last few days has been the fact that Viva la Vida of Coldplay won the Grammy's for the song of the year!! Yay!! Coldplay - Congratulations and Thank you so much. If not for you the past one week would have been hell. I love your songs!!

I have also been reading like never before. Reading well into the night, Reading in the bus, Reading while eating..... I have had quite a capital time reading. I finished reading two books over the weekend. Three men in a boat by Jerome k Jerome and last couple of chapters of "The hungry tide" by Amitav ghosh. Loved both of them and I have started reading 'Emma' by Jane Austen - a book which i got for a steal price in Odyssey. If not for friends,books and music (in that order) life wouldnt have been worth living i tell ya.

And the fact that work has been rearing its ugly head and has made it near impossible for my lifeless life to perk up is not very consoling.

Sighhh!! I need a break. Yes. I think i will take a break!!

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Weekday paanch aur weekend sirf do??? BAHUT nainsaafi hai!! :P

If u were born after the year 2000 (even thats no excuse actually) or if you are living under a rock chances are that you wouldnt have seen Sholay and dont understand the title of this post. This is the dialogue which comes in the BAAP of all Hindi movies Sholay and our quintessential villain Gabbar Singh says it. Errrr. he doesnt say it verbatim but he says something like this to indicate that it is a great injustice that 7 men fought against 2 men. Ahhh!! Anyway the crux of this post is not the dialogues of Sholay. (Ah ha!! i heard you say 'your post doesnt have a crux, it only sucks'. HUMPH!! :-\)

So it has been yet another great weekend. Finally after 1 and a half years of Aki calling us to bangalore every weekend six of us decided to grace bangalore with our presence and what a weekend it has been!! One amazing trip to banaglore, mekedaatu, the promise of a waterless chunchi(or is it chuchi or chuchu or chenchu??) falls and bannerghatta national park and yet again coming to office on monday morning felt like someone had pushed me into a garbage dump. Notice how i write my posts about my weekends two or three days after my weekend? I need those two three days to moon about and be depressed and generally go about having a face like a dead duck. I tend to write my posts only after i have recovered from my weekend hangover!! :P

I aint gonna bore u guys by giving u details about mekedattu, sangam, chunchi, bannerghatta etc. There is enough information on the internet.

But i will say that it is a great place to go with a couple of great friends and have a weekend out being silly and having a whale of a time.

Surprisingly i didnt find bangalore that irritating this time around. Usually the weather, the "we-will-have-boards-only-in-kannada" buses, the "so-slow-that-i-d-prefer-walking" traffic, the "we-dont-know-any-other-word-except-gothilla" people and the "so-sweet-i-dunno-if-its-kesari-or-sambhar" sambhar get on my nerves but this time none of it bothered me (errrr because the weather was perfect, not too hot, not too cold, we didnt take the bus at all except to go to bannerghatta, since we were out of the city all the time i didnt get a taste of the traffic much and thankfully we didnt have to ask for direction to be answered with a gothilla. Aaaah!! Pro-Bangaloreans i am sorry and maybe i am biased or maybe because i have been in chennai for so long i cant appreciate or love any other city as much as i love Chennai)

Akiiiii, Thanks for being a wonderful host and also for the treat in Metro and errrr please dont tell anyone about that goof up i did in Metro about the train leaving and catching the next one. OMG!! i dont think i will ever live that down!! :D

My IQ levels on this trip to bangalore were at an all time low. I was unsually absent minded, pathetically slow in understanding things, horrendously stupid and kept saying things which made no sense whatsoever.

Me: Hey Sandy who paid for the caps
Sandy: I did Revs
Me: oh ok. I need to keep an account of who is spending what.
after 5 minutes
Me: oh by the way Sandy who paid for the caps?
Sandy: ^*%#^#^#$@

Sandy: Hey maybe we should get a breakfast parcel for the rest of the girls Aki
Me: Yeah good idea.
Aki: Yeah. I will call them and ask them what they wantMe: Yeah ok
(after 2 mins when Aki was talking on the phone to the others)
Me: Heyyyyyyy!! i have a great idea. Why should all of them come here and have breakfast? We can pack a parcel for them and take it home right??
Aki: Duh!!!!!

Sighhh!! Slowly and steadily (or rather at an exponential speed ) i think i am losing it!!

I also spent some time with a friend who recently got married. It gives me immense happiness when i see a very good friend of mine happily married and settled after having had a somewhat tumultuous life. He has married an angel or rather a super woman who cooks amazingly well from morning to night for 20 people, maintains the house like a hotel room, talks well with everyone whether she knows them or not and also manages to study for her exams and all this just 2 months after her marriage!! Sheeesh!! She is the kind of girl i would never want my mother to meet or see!! The ideal woman!! :P
So it was a great weekend and i just realised that since the start of this year i have been home only one weekend!! :P. Nowadays if i stay home weekends my grandmother thinks i am sick and gets all worried!! :P
Sighhhh!! Oh for 5 day weekends!!
Some pictures. :)
errrrr..this is not a bunch of retards. Thats us doing kung fu!!:P:P. Notice the one on the extreme left hanging like a clothes hanger in a cupboard!! :P

Doing what we do best. Being stupid!! :P

A friendly zebra in bannerghatta!! :)