Have you ever had a wave of nostalgia hit you so badly that it caused your nose to tingle and your eyes to tear up and hankering back at a time when things were different and fun and you had no responsibility?

A song did that to me today and sent me right back to 2008-09 which were the years I had the most fun I have ever had, had the best friends, was doing stuff I liked to do and was in the peak of my youthful energy. I am not in touch with most of those friends, I am mostly doing stuff that i required of me to do as a working woman, a mother and a daughter and unless I force myself to put stuff I like to do in a resolution and track it everyday I don't do it and my bones legit creak and groan every time I move and my youthful energy while not non-existent definitely takes regular vacations from time to time.

Honestly things right now are great and I am not complaining. It's not that I want to go back to 2008-09. Hell no. Some of the years in between 08 - 18 were shit fests so unless a machine is invented that makes me go back to a specific time I choose and come immediately back to the present, I'd rather stay in 2019, thank you very much.

Also have you noticed that nostalgia only helps you recall really positive happy memories? The happy memories of the past make you sad in the present of course, but I have hardly had any nostalgia wave that took me back to the terrible times in my life. Of course I haven't had many of those but still what is it about nostalgia that it makes you think of the good times more than bad?

I have a good news
The kind of news that warms the cockles of your heart, increases your heart rate and makes you feel like everything is amazing in this world
Of course it's not pregnancy. After giving birth to twins, being pregnant again cannot be good news. It can be a lot of adjectives like horrifying, foolish, terrifying, WTF was I thinking but definitely not good.
I can't tell you what it is but that makes the awesomeness of it more because I can't share it and so it just sits in my heart multiplying its joy.
Life otherwise has been pretty run of the mill and dreary and both the babies after their recent bout of illness refuse to eat anything and have been subsisting on air and love and I do think I should send them off to scientists to figure out how these two human being are able to survive.
Also my daughter today when I was reprimanding her turned to me and said "Nee po di" which made me laugh and cry and be angry at the same time.
How fast these children grow.
Pch

It's been four years since I visited this space
Forget writing, I haven't even been visiting it. So much has happened. Life has taken over. Things can be said on whatsapp and twitter and in short bursts on a video call, recorded message and no one wants to write (or read) anything that is longer than 140 characters.
But that's not the point. I am here because I made a resolution this year that I would do more of things I like. Read more, Write more, Talk to friends more, Be in touch more, Do things I don't usually do more.
It has taken me two months to sit down and write anything but here I am :)

In other news, I now have two children. twins! A boy and a girl. Two years old! Adorable little things running around doing things that I would normally find really annoying but find beautiful in my own spawn.
This parenting is a strange, wonderful, exhilarating, horrifying, amusing, heart wrenching and soul searching roller coaster. Wouldn't recommend it to anyone but would also enthusiastically recommend it to everyone, if you know what I mean.
My biggest lesson from parenting (and parenting twins at that!) has been that you can't win this parenting game. It is a conspiracy which all parents are part of and no one will tell you this but you basically get yourselves into something you know you can't/won't win. Right when you think you have got it and you are coasting, a child of yours will throw you a curveball you didn't see coming and then it's really back to square one. And it's a little unsettling because all these 33 years on the planet, I was the one throwing curveballs at my parents and watching them be flummoxed, and now it's me.

My kids are at that adorable age when they have just started talking and everything in the world is worth knowing and worth learning and worth repeating.
They say pannati for pattani
Iladi for Idli
Aminal for Animal
Onjiliko for Olinjiko
And I can't get enough of both of them right now. I know I may not always feel like this but I feel like this today so thought I would record it.
This has been a random bunch of unrelated, poorly written, wtf ramblings but a skill I haven't used/practiced for almost 8 years now is going to take some time coming back. No?