Elder Sisters - Bah!! :-\

So the other day my sister called me and went

Preethi: Yaar Shruthi, Karthik India aa raha hai.

Me: ahaan!! good. Yeh karthik kaun hai?

Preethi: what?? I cant even recollect the number of times i have told you about karthik. Why are u behaving like Lord Emsworth. Next you will probably ask yeh Preethi kaun hai. sheeeesh!!

Me: Preethi. Is it a crime to not know who Karthik is. Bata na.

Preethi: Arey appa's mother's sister's son's son who stays here in Dubai very close to my place. K and I hang out with him and his family mostly

Me: ohh ahhh!

Preethi: he is coming to india

Me: mmm hmm.

Preethi: I want some stuff

Me: ohhh!! who is going to give it to him?

Preethi: Errrr. i sort of thought you would

Me: Like hell i will. What do u want, where does he stay and when does he leave? I will try and give it to him this weekend

Preethi: errr. He is leaving on Friday and he lives in Kodambakkam

Me: Friday?? thats like day after. no way man. Work is shit in office. Its been ages since i saw sunlight. I reach home at 9 everyday. there is no way i can go to Kodambakkam and give this stuff to him. Kodambakkam!! Sheeesh!! Thats soooooooo far. I dont even have a vehicle. I might as well courier it to Dubai. What do u want that is so important?

Preethi: Errr. I want some coffee powder.

Me: what??? You want me to go all the way till Kodambakkam for 1 kg of coffee powder. Hah!! NO way!!

P: Please yaar. Its been 2 months since i last tasted coffee. (Putting on a voice not unlike Lalita Pawar in all those movies where she plays the hero's mother and goes "Cough Cough Betaaaaa mujhe bahu ka moo dikha de phir mai khushi khushi yeh duniya chod ke chali jaoongi")

Me: Whatever happened to Nescafe, Bru etc

Preethi: Ewwwwww. You know how much i hate instant coffee. I want filter coffee. Proper Leo Coffee shop coffee powder put inside a filter with hot water around 100 degrees temperature poured over it and percolating to give the sexiest aroma ever. mmmm

M: there are children in Somalia who havent seen water/food for ages and you want coffee shipped to Dubai!! Sheeesh!! Talk about insensitivity!!

P: please yaar

M: Abey!! why dont you ask karthik to buy coffee powder. I am sure there is a Leo Coffee shop in Kodambakkam.

P: Chiii. accha thoda na lagta hai. Doesnt look nice. He has come to India on a flying visit and how can i ask him to buy me coffee powder, chilly powder, paruppu podu, vetthakozhambu and all that.

M: Its just coffee powder yaaar!! Eeeeeeeee!! I am not going!!

P: Please Shruthi. How many times have i taken you to the movies, played badminton with you, spoken to so many relatives, lied for you, not told amma about the time when you...

M: STOP!!! what else do u want

P: Thats more like it.!! Hmmm some idly podi...

M: Yeah ok. Will do!!

P: Aur Shruthi

M: hmmm

P: Dont go empty handed yaar. buy something for them go. Accha thoda na lagta hai. They are doing us a favor and you go empty handed

M: Sighhh!! Ok. Shall i buy fruits?

P: Fruits?????? Eeeeeee!! Dhadhi!! Buy some mixture and some sweet from Grand Sweets or something.

So today morning i woke up at a godforsaken 5.30 to go to Kodambakkam and give Leo Coffee Powder and Idly podi to my cousin for my sister who doesnt like to drink instant coffee and only likes filter coffee if the coffee powder comes from a certain Leo Cofee Shop in Adyar, the water is set at 100 degrees centigrade and percolated for exactly 7 minutes and 20 seconds!!And oh yeah!! I did buy something from Grand Sweets. Khali haath jaana accha thode na lagta hai!!

Sisters!! BAH!!! :-\
Sisters living outside India - Double BAH!!

From: Ramanan, Revathi
Sent: Tuesday, January 20, 2009 10:11 AM
To: Preethi Ramanan
Subject:

Preethi Preethi!! I found this totally cool site called thestorez.com where u can order any book u want to and along with shipping it costs much less than what the book would cost in odyssey or landmark. and they give u the best deals. i mean three men in a boat by jerome k jerome was worth 395 bucks in odyssey and in the storez i saw another publisher publishing the same book for 70 bucks. i mean wow!!
Mast na? Jaldi tera credit card de kameeni. i will use it to buy the books coz i dont have one

From: Preethi Ramanan
Sent: Tuesday, January 20, 2009 10:26 PM
To: Ramanan, Revathi
Subject:
Arey wow!! totally cool yaar. Yeah yeah. will give u my credit card number. been wanting to buy so many books but they are so expensive here in dubai. but ek doubt hai. along with shipping how is it so cheap? they deliver outside india for the same rates? i mean dubai ko free mein ship kartein hai kya

From: Ramanan, Revathi
Sent: Tuesday, January 20, 2009 10:43 PM
To: Preethi Ramanan
Subject:

Errrr. They are located in Chennai. Dubai ko shayad ship nahi kartein. lemme check

From: Preethi Ramanan
Sent: Tuesday, January 20, 2009 11:07 PM
To: Ramanan, Revathi
Subject:


they dont deliver to locations outside india :( naai.. its like telling me .. there is a website where if u order ravaladdoo.. they deliver free patty like ravaladoos .. and then i find out that it is not for locaitons outside india.. NAIYE!! BAH. to hell with you and your site

From: Ramanan, Revathi
Sent: Tuesday, January 20, 2009 10:43 PM
To: Preethi Ramanan
Subject:

Errrr. does this mean no credit card?? :rolling eyes:

A Sister's "Love" :-\

Its amazing how much my sister loves me!!

Its astounding how irritating elder sisters can be

Its puzzling why parents cant stop with just one child. the YOUNGER one!! (errr. i know this makes no sense!! but whatever!!)

Sample this conversation bewteen my sis (who is currently in India visiting my parents) and me the other day

Pardon all the hindi. Since my sis and i talk only in hindi it made more sense to write the post in hindi!! :)

Tring Tring

Preethi: Haan bol.

Me: Mai hoon.

Preethi: pata hai. Kya hai? (in the most disinterested voice)

M: amma ko phone de

P: Pehle bata kya hai. kyun phone kiya??

M: (voice going up 2 decibels and accquiring a threatening tone): Amma ko phone de

P: Nahi. She is busy

M: mujhe baat karni hai. its urgent. phone de!!!!

P: Then tell me. Anyway she is busy making pakodas for me

M: pakode????? kameeni!!

P: ha ha. yeah. and mom just told me that the pakode she made now are wayyyyyyy better than the pakode she made when u came

M: u LIAR. she so did not say that.

P: math maan. mujhe kya hai. mai to pakode kha rahi hoon. tu kya kar rahi hai? Office mein hai? ha ha ha. Aur haan. Aaj raat ko aloo ke paranthe ban rahein hai aur hum sab raat ko movie ja rahein hai. Uske baad thodi daer park mein baith ke baatein karenge. tu office mein kaam kar theek hai?? Soooooonu! (this is what my sister calls me. An irritating name which i completely completely hate!!Sigh!! this name was the darkest and deepest secret of my life and now its out there!! :( )

M: Mera naam Soonu nahi hai.

P: Soonu Soonu Soonu Soonu Soonu Soonu

(Yes!! My sister is 26, married and supposedly holds a very "high" position in Satyam. Her brains however stopped growing when she was 4)

M: (bellowing now): Amma ko PHONE de kameeeeeeni!!

P: ha ha ha ha. Bye Soooooonu!!!

(Click)

M: sputtering and gasping incoherently at a dead line!!

Sigh!!! Elder Sisters. One breed of humans i want to send to the moon when the first flight of chandrayaan leaves this planet carrying humans!!

BAH!!! :-\