Become a Java expert and you will lose all ur hair and here I break the record for giving the saddest titles!! :P

1. I attended a lecture on Java today in office. There were four people who took the session and my net learning has been
a). The net total of all the hair on all the four men's head = hair on one half of my head
and if u have seen me you will know how little that is!! :P
So,
net learning: Never become an expert in Java. You will lose all your hair

2. Volunteered and attended Swabondhini's annual day as usual this weeknd . It came at the right time and gave me the much need perspective that i need in life right now. For the whole of last week i was wallowing in self pity and asking profound questions like "Why does shit happen to me always" and generally going around keeping a face like a dead duck. After Saturday's event I am like "I have a great set of friends, a decent job, a great family, hell i have arms legs and a brain that functions ok" and i have been trying my level best to not keep a face like a dead duck.
P.S: if my natural face is like that of a dead duck, its hardly my fault, dont u think?? ;-)

3. Saw Evam's play "Who murdered Hamlet" on Sunday and my admiration for Evam has increased exponentially. I am amazed at the amount of talent these guys possess, the absolutely brilliant sense of humor, the unbelievable energy they exude on stage and their ability to weave humor into the most mundane of things/topics/current affairs. I mean they are such naturals. Their performances are spontaneous, not rehearsed and the way they blended current affairs into it was just brilliant. But i have completely forgotten the original hamlet after watching Evam murder Hamlet!! :P

4. My cousin S had his 9th birthday on Sunday and we got him a nice red flashy bike. the thrill and joy which you see on a 9 year old's face when he beholds the bike for which he has been waiting for a long time is just priceless. He kept going to the balcony every 5 minutes till he feel asleep to see if his bike was alright and if someone was touching/fingering it and going "Deiii, Adhu yen bike. Kai vekkadhe, pakkadhe, moochu vaangadhe etc" while we looked on in amusement. Now all of a sudden he has problems with his old bike. Its small, the brakes are sad, the seat is torn etc etc.

Hamra Pehla Interview!! :):)

So the guys at blog adda decided that they needed some looniness on their website and decided to ahemm!!!cough!! cough!! interview me!!!!! :P:P
After reading my answers i am sure they would have hit themselves with the nearest lethal weapon they could lay their hands on but nice that they are they eventually did publish it!! :):)

Do read my first ever interview HERE

Man!! Do i feel like a celebrity or what!! ;-) ;-)

P.S: I didnt write the VGP wala line!! God Promise. Mother promise!! :P

Children of Heaven - a review

I just finished watching this Iranian movie called "Children of Heaven" (Bacheha-Ye aseman).

Thank you so much for gifting me the cd of the movie Sumeetha!! :)

Coming back to Children of Heaven, its one of the most beautiful movies i have seen in a very long time. (This one time i will not tear a movie apart but will give a decent review!! ;) because this movie is really worth a watch!!)

The story revolves around two children Ali and Zahra aged 6 and 8 respectively whose father is a poor tea server in the mosque. One day Ali misplaces Zahra's shoes while going to get them darned and knowing their father's financial position they hide the fact that Zahra doesnt have a pair of shoes from their parents and secretly decide to manage with a single pair. Since Zahra goes to school in the morning and Ali in the afternoon they manage with a single pair of shoes which results in Ali often going late to school and getting into scrapes with the headmaster.Ali gets a chance to take part in the sprint contest conducted by their school and prize offered for the person at the third place is a pair of sneakers. Ali decides to participate, come third and get the sneakers for Zahra . He accidentally comes first and is given a different prize and not the pair of sneakers.

So from where do i start praising the movie? Let me start with the characters of Ali and Zahra. I have never seen such natural actors. At some point in the movie you forget that you are watching a movie and not the real life replay of 2 children. The child artistes emote so beautifully. Be it joy or sorrow or pain or fear or anger they are so natural, Darsheel Zafry of TZP would pale in comparison.

There is especially this scene when Zahra wears the sneakers (basically boys shoes) for the first time to school. She is scared that in PE class the teacher will catch her and tries to hide her shoes behind her desk. And then the teacher announces that in PE class it is best for the girls to wear sneakers because they will help you run and jump much better and appreciates the girls wearing sneakers. The change in Zahra's expressions from apprehension to fear to relief to pride is so beautiful you want to hug the child and give her a new pair of shoes.

Some of the other scenes which stand out in my mind are when Ali comes first in class and is awarded a gold ball pen by his teacher. Though he himself wants to keep the pen he feels guilty and responsible for losing Zahra's shoes and gives her the pen. Zahra is angry with Ali because not only has he lost her shoes but also scolds her for coming late from school every afternoon because of which he is forced to go late. Zahra threatens to tell their parents. So when Ali gives her the pen her pensive face breaks into a shy smile and she tells him that she did not tell their parents. Ali grins and says "i knew you wouldnt"

When Zahra sees her lost shoes on the feet of a classmate she is shocked but when she realises that the girl has a blind father Ali and Zahra do nothing about it and continue to suffer the agony of sharing the pair of shoes.

The bond between the brother and the sister is shown extremely beautifully and the fact that the children are enormously adorable helps a great deal. When Ali's father has some money Ali tells him to buy a pair of shoes for Zahra. The selflessness, innocence and the pure heart of the children touches your heart and strikes a chord somewhere.

The ending is beautiful and Ali's expressions when he realises that he has accidentally won first place and denied Zahra a pair of shoes is priceless.

I cant say enough about the wonderful acting of the two children and I think you should see it to believe it. Its a movie which is worth watching and Indian directors would do well to take a leaf out of movies like this. No loud dialogues, no unnecessary characters and absolutely no melodrama. I think the beauty of the movie lies in the way the director has dealt with emotions so subtly and the understated acting of the children!!

Do watch it if you get an opportunity!!

P.S: Personally i think this post was too sensible for my taste!! :P. Blame Aravind and Sumeetha- They are the ones who got me hooked on to foreign language movies. Errr. I dont know if hooked is the right word. I have seen 3 foreign language movies and i have liked all three!! :)

Elder Sisters - Bah!! :-\

So the other day my sister called me and went

Preethi: Yaar Shruthi, Karthik India aa raha hai.

Me: ahaan!! good. Yeh karthik kaun hai?

Preethi: what?? I cant even recollect the number of times i have told you about karthik. Why are u behaving like Lord Emsworth. Next you will probably ask yeh Preethi kaun hai. sheeeesh!!

Me: Preethi. Is it a crime to not know who Karthik is. Bata na.

Preethi: Arey appa's mother's sister's son's son who stays here in Dubai very close to my place. K and I hang out with him and his family mostly

Me: ohh ahhh!

Preethi: he is coming to india

Me: mmm hmm.

Preethi: I want some stuff

Me: ohhh!! who is going to give it to him?

Preethi: Errrr. i sort of thought you would

Me: Like hell i will. What do u want, where does he stay and when does he leave? I will try and give it to him this weekend

Preethi: errr. He is leaving on Friday and he lives in Kodambakkam

Me: Friday?? thats like day after. no way man. Work is shit in office. Its been ages since i saw sunlight. I reach home at 9 everyday. there is no way i can go to Kodambakkam and give this stuff to him. Kodambakkam!! Sheeesh!! Thats soooooooo far. I dont even have a vehicle. I might as well courier it to Dubai. What do u want that is so important?

Preethi: Errr. I want some coffee powder.

Me: what??? You want me to go all the way till Kodambakkam for 1 kg of coffee powder. Hah!! NO way!!

P: Please yaar. Its been 2 months since i last tasted coffee. (Putting on a voice not unlike Lalita Pawar in all those movies where she plays the hero's mother and goes "Cough Cough Betaaaaa mujhe bahu ka moo dikha de phir mai khushi khushi yeh duniya chod ke chali jaoongi")

Me: Whatever happened to Nescafe, Bru etc

Preethi: Ewwwwww. You know how much i hate instant coffee. I want filter coffee. Proper Leo Coffee shop coffee powder put inside a filter with hot water around 100 degrees temperature poured over it and percolating to give the sexiest aroma ever. mmmm

M: there are children in Somalia who havent seen water/food for ages and you want coffee shipped to Dubai!! Sheeesh!! Talk about insensitivity!!

P: please yaar

M: Abey!! why dont you ask karthik to buy coffee powder. I am sure there is a Leo Coffee shop in Kodambakkam.

P: Chiii. accha thoda na lagta hai. Doesnt look nice. He has come to India on a flying visit and how can i ask him to buy me coffee powder, chilly powder, paruppu podu, vetthakozhambu and all that.

M: Its just coffee powder yaaar!! Eeeeeeeee!! I am not going!!

P: Please Shruthi. How many times have i taken you to the movies, played badminton with you, spoken to so many relatives, lied for you, not told amma about the time when you...

M: STOP!!! what else do u want

P: Thats more like it.!! Hmmm some idly podi...

M: Yeah ok. Will do!!

P: Aur Shruthi

M: hmmm

P: Dont go empty handed yaar. buy something for them go. Accha thoda na lagta hai. They are doing us a favor and you go empty handed

M: Sighhh!! Ok. Shall i buy fruits?

P: Fruits?????? Eeeeeee!! Dhadhi!! Buy some mixture and some sweet from Grand Sweets or something.

So today morning i woke up at a godforsaken 5.30 to go to Kodambakkam and give Leo Coffee Powder and Idly podi to my cousin for my sister who doesnt like to drink instant coffee and only likes filter coffee if the coffee powder comes from a certain Leo Cofee Shop in Adyar, the water is set at 100 degrees centigrade and percolated for exactly 7 minutes and 20 seconds!!And oh yeah!! I did buy something from Grand Sweets. Khali haath jaana accha thode na lagta hai!!

Sisters!! BAH!!! :-\
Sisters living outside India - Double BAH!!

I HATE Monday Mornings!!
So whats new?
I hate Monday mornings, especially if u have had one helluva Sunday, right from 3 o clock in the morning on Sunday till 2 o clock in the morning on Monday. For all you guys whose eyebrows have risen up an inch bring them down and wipe that skeptic look off your face. I went on a one day trek to Nagalapuram near Chennai.

This was the 15th time that Chennai Trekkers were doing a Nagalapuram and my first time. I had almost begun to believe that i would die without doing a Nagala and the thought of having missed Nagala 15 times began to haunt me in my dreams. So when Peter sent out the invitation on Wednesday i jumped at it and decided that come what may i was attending this trek even if Geroge (clooney) suddenly called to tell me that he would marry me on Sunday. So on Sunday morning 4 o clock if u saw a pretty young girl sitting with an alien like creature which vaguely ressembles a human (only vaguely mind you!!) at Madhya Kailash, it was me and the weird creature which likes to call itself Rahul!! :P

In this trek for the first time i jumped into water. Yayyy Revs!! Way to go!! :) In all the other treks that i have been to, I have always been terrified of water and when everyone enjoys in the pools i dont even venture close to them. I think of myself as hydrophobic (Just clarifying that I take a bath daily and i am just wary of huge water bodies!! Wary mind you and not scared!! Phew!! That was close!! :P). But this time we didnt have choice but to go splash in the water and I went SPLASH and maa kasam it was SO MUCH fun. I mean for a minute there when all that water went up my nose i was like "Oh my god i am dying" but as luck would have it (your bad luck and my good luck) i did survive and had immense fun!! :)

And so by the time we finished and came back to Chennai it was like 2 in the morning and I was completely and thoroughly exhausted and shamelessly slept in the front seat and made the driver too feel sleepy!!

Sighhh!! So right now my leg feels like a sugarcane after it has been passed through one of those umpteen sugarcane machines u see on the roadside, climbing a flight of stairs causes pure unadulterated agony with each muscle crying out in pain, my eyes are burning from the lack of sleep and the light from an unfriendly computer, my neck is completely cramped because of an errant branch which hit me wham!! in my neck and the slightest movement of the head sends shooting pains through my shoulder and back. So every time someone calls me i move my head in a very royal and slow manner like an emperor. I knew i had blue blood running within me!! :P

not to mention the many thorns which now proudly reside under my epidermis and every time i hold a pen to write something or hold a cup of tea or keep my hand on the mouse there is something which pricks me and makes me go ouch. :P

And on top of all that i have so much work that i started writing this post in the morning at 10 and just about managed to finish writing it.

But i feel good. Yay!! Finally finally i did a Nagala!! :)

P.S: I deleted my previous post for obvious reasons. Some of the comments which i received were in really bad taste and before the discussion grew up to something which would not be favorable for family viewing :P, i decided to remove it. Personally i thought it was a plain harmless post, one of those posts which you write in the spur of the moment as soon as you think of it but sadly people started having silly fights in the comments, started calling each other names and started discussing many other graphic details which i feel are best left unmentioned.

Of chaddis, Delhi 6, infinite loops and other bakwaas!!

1. I saw exactly 57 chaddis in bangalore this weekend. I mean what is it with people in bangalore and showing chaddis. I mean c'mon man!! You can hardly sit in an ice cream parlor, restaurant, theatre or mall without beholding at least 3,4 chaddis around you. Maybe i am old fashioned, maybe i am so archaic and ancient that i m scandalized at the sight of a mere 50 gram chaddi peeping out of pants so low i cant believe they actually stand up there, but i liked the days when chaddis were something very personal, were not sent to politicians when u were offended with them, were not brands but were just u know chaddis. sighhh!!

2. All you people out there who are planning to watch Delhi 6 one wise word of caution from this wise girl!! :P (okk!! the me being wise part was a joke but not the wise word of caution part). It is a TERRIBLE movie. I wasted 165 bucks to watch the movie in a seedy theatre called "Urvasi" theatre in bangalore and since yesterday i have been unable to sleep just thinking about all the things i could have done with 165 bucks at the end of the month. And it doesnt help when you have friends who tell you "165 bucks??tch tch. you could have fed 4 kids in somalia for that money."But seriously. I dont know what Rakyesh Omprakash mehra was thinking when he made the movie. now RDB was a wholesome entertainer but Delhi 6 is a sloth fest with such a horrific climax it makes u wonder if this was made by a first time director. Trust me Vijaykanth's movies where just a "tambalam" would prevent our captain from getting hurt seemed much more logical than the climax of Delhi 6. The music seems to be wasted on such a good movie. The songs hardly play for 30 seconds each and Abhishek irritating-fake-accent Bacchan makes sure he gets on ur nerves every time he opens his mouth to talk in English. Dear AB jr, rolling your r's when u say serious and works DOES NOT constitute an american accent. It seems like the director started making the movie, hired ARR (he won 2 oscars!! woo hoo!! :)) to make some FANTABULOUS music, made AB jr work on his crappy accent and after shooting 10 minutes of the movie he realised "Ooops!! no story", after 20 mins he realised "Ooops!! no climax", after half an hour realised "Oooops, American accent doesnt work" and then just because he had spent so much decided to go on and continue making the movie using the monkey man (Kaala Bandar) concept. The movie is also a walking adverisement for motorola and IBN. every frame has either one of these products. Untouchabliltiy, Casteism, Family feuds, Unmarried girl being a stigma, Girl getting married against her wishes, Grandmother wanting to die in "apni mitti", showing the pathetic state of Indian traffic and calling that "real" India is all passe and cliched Mr.Mehra. Seriously, i expected much more from you and i am very disappointed with Delhi 6.

3. Sowrangutan who had promised to meet me this weekend decided to ditch me in the last minute citing lame excuses. I still cant believe that someone would want to meet an architect when they have the opportunity to meet me!! :P. Something tells me I intimidated the little (in the literal sense. I hear she is not more than 4 feet tall) kid and she was just scared to meet me!! Or maybe because she met Goof and S3 she kind of developed an image in her head of the kind of people all the Chennai bloggers are and hence refused to meet me!! :P

What the real reason is I never shall know!! :P

4. I have eaten enough ice cream in corner house this weekend to feed 20 kids in somalia for 2 days. An year back on my first trip to banaglore i expressed an interest to eat at corner house. My friends sicne then think that eating at corner house for me is almost equivalent to having a date with George Clooney, so they play the good samaritan and without fail take me to corner house every time i visit Bangalore and watch lovingly as i wolf down the ice cream. I think i have tried all the flavors of chocolate ice cream in Corner House (which has the dubious distiction of being the place where i saw the maximum number of chaddis)

5. RK Laxman is as amazing a writer as he is a cartoonist. I bought an omnibus of his with the three books he has written and i m floored. Please do read his autobiography "The Tunnel of Time". The simple language and subtle and dry humor is brilliant and I cant put the book down. i was just wondering how proud RK Narayan and RK Laxman's parents must be of their two boys!! Pretty much the same way that my parents are NOT proud of my sister and me!!

6. A certain binary search algorithm was getting on my nerves from last Thursday, irritating me by getting stuck in an infinite loop and stubbornly refusing to do anything except crash my entire workspace. I found the bug today. I had not incremented my loop variable and i realised that it is not possible for oneself to kick their own behinds. Would someone please do the honors?? (That was a joke!! Ha ha!! :roll:)

1. I have found out that the obsessive compulsive hair pulling disorder that i have ACTUALLY has a name. I now officially suffer from trichotillomania. I think it started when i was class 12th and because of undue stress (ahem!!) due to the upcoming boards (aaaah!!) i started pulling out my hair - not in clumps (thats my sister's job to pull MY hair out in clumps!! :P) but strand by strand therby irritating everyone at home and dirtying the entire house. Over the past 7 years though i have made a conscious effort to stop it even now when i am tensed or in deep thought my hands unconsciously reach out to my hair to pull them out. I cant believe i ama maniac!! :-

I am going to stop!! oh yeah i am going to stop

2. What happens to people when they are in love? Why do they stop thinking rationally, or rather why do they stop thinking at all? Why dont they listen to reason? Why do they lie to parents - the same parents to whom they have never lied before, never hidden anything, been completely honest? Why do they break their trust? I guess I never will understand and I seem to be surrounded by people like this. And dont u dare look at me condescendingly,smirk and say "Never been in love, you will NEVER understand"

3. I just realised that unconsciously i have built circles of trust around me and every time i meet a person i place them in one of those imaginary circles. Family and 4 close friends - circle 1, good friends - circle 2, online friends - circle 3 and so on and so forth. I think consciously or unconsciously all of us do it - segregate and classify people based on how relevant they are in our lives. So much for telling everyone "Heyyy! I am not judgemental"

4. My friend A must be the only person in India to have failed a driving test. So the other day she had her driving test and when i called her later this was the conversation between us
Me: So what happened??

A: ha ha ha ha ha!!

Me: Congrats!! So all the tension was for nothing eh? You cleared it

A: Ha ha ha ha!! Noooo!! i flunked. i didnt realise the hand break was in place and tried to start the car and the car threw up. And he threw me outta the car. Ha ha ha ha

Me: Ha ha ha ha!! but errr. why are u going Ha ha ha ha ha

A: Ha ha ha ha. I dont know. Its just so funny!!

A now has the dubious distinction of being among the select few who failed a driving test in INDIA!! Sheeeesh!! I thought no one failed a driving test in India.

5. I now regret having had a wonderful childhood, great parents and a privileged life with no financial worries. For the past few months i have been filling a couple of application forms which ask me the following questions

-some acute adversity which u faced in life and how u overcame it

errrrr...the acutest adversity which i faced in my younger days was my sister and in college days was my roommate. I love both of them so didnt actually have the need to overcome them!! Does this qualify??

-Have u ever supported ur family financially?

Ha ha ha ha ha!! I am still not able to support my OWN self financially

-Have u ever availed a student loan to pursue your education

Errrr..Noo

-Have you ever worked part time while getting an education to support yourself/family

Hulllllo!!! I considered getting an education as WORK!!

-Have you ever funded the education/needs of a younger sibling?

I AM the younger sibling. Now somebody fund me please!!

I mean what is it with these colleges? I filled No for all the questions asked above and I am about as sure as making it to those colleges as Pramod Muthalik is of growing some hair, moustache and brains!! Sighhh!! Its all my parents fault!! :-

6. So this weekend i am again going to Bangalore. I am not very fond of that city and it is OBVIOUS that its not a voluntary trip for pleasure though i fully intend to make it one. But since meeting Sowrangutan is on my agenda i dont know if i can really call the trip a pleasure!! :P

Aw le le le Sowrangutan!!

And be rest assured I am not bringing you gifts like a certain someone did last week!! Yours Truly is the biggest gift you will be getting!! :D

P.S: I just realised random scribbles and rants seem to be the only thing i am writing nowadays!! Its been ages since i wrote a proper review/post etc!! Hmmmm!!

Last week hasnt been quite the perfect week.

Things with a friend arent going to great. As in not with regards to my relationship with her but her relationship with someone else. Thats the problem if you are real close to someone. You can almost feel their anguish and pain and i have been worrying myself sick wondering if there is absolutely anything that i can do about it. Hmmmm.

Things at home are also taking an ugly turn and after ages and ages I had a fight about a really petty issue with people at home.

I have been completely avoiding human contact as much as possible. There was a time when i would talk for at least three hours on the phone daily with certain friends in bangalore, certain friends in ayanavaram and certain other friends completely losing track of time and yapping away to glory. I just dont feel like talking anymore. So much so that i switch my cell off at night to avoid talking on the phone. Sighhh!! I never thought there would be a day when i would get tired of talking but i hate talking on the phone when i am not my usual cheerful and enthusiastic self. I mean I hate talking to crabby people and I am sure no one would have liked to talk to me these last few days.

Books and Music are my only solace now. Oh by the way one source of happiness in the last few days has been the fact that Viva la Vida of Coldplay won the Grammy's for the song of the year!! Yay!! Coldplay - Congratulations and Thank you so much. If not for you the past one week would have been hell. I love your songs!!

I have also been reading like never before. Reading well into the night, Reading in the bus, Reading while eating..... I have had quite a capital time reading. I finished reading two books over the weekend. Three men in a boat by Jerome k Jerome and last couple of chapters of "The hungry tide" by Amitav ghosh. Loved both of them and I have started reading 'Emma' by Jane Austen - a book which i got for a steal price in Odyssey. If not for friends,books and music (in that order) life wouldnt have been worth living i tell ya.

And the fact that work has been rearing its ugly head and has made it near impossible for my lifeless life to perk up is not very consoling.

Sighhh!! I need a break. Yes. I think i will take a break!!

Weekday paanch aur weekend sirf do??? BAHUT nainsaafi hai!! :P

If u were born after the year 2000 (even thats no excuse actually) or if you are living under a rock chances are that you wouldnt have seen Sholay and dont understand the title of this post. This is the dialogue which comes in the BAAP of all Hindi movies Sholay and our quintessential villain Gabbar Singh says it. Errrr. he doesnt say it verbatim but he says something like this to indicate that it is a great injustice that 7 men fought against 2 men. Ahhh!! Anyway the crux of this post is not the dialogues of Sholay. (Ah ha!! i heard you say 'your post doesnt have a crux, it only sucks'. HUMPH!! :-\)


So it has been yet another great weekend. Finally after 1 and a half years of Aki calling us to bangalore every weekend six of us decided to grace bangalore with our presence and what a weekend it has been!! One amazing trip to banaglore, mekedaatu, the promise of a waterless chunchi(or is it chuchi or chuchu or chenchu??) falls and bannerghatta national park and yet again coming to office on monday morning felt like someone had pushed me into a garbage dump. Notice how i write my posts about my weekends two or three days after my weekend? I need those two three days to moon about and be depressed and generally go about having a face like a dead duck. I tend to write my posts only after i have recovered from my weekend hangover!! :P


I aint gonna bore u guys by giving u details about mekedattu, sangam, chunchi, bannerghatta etc. There is enough information on the internet.

But i will say that it is a great place to go with a couple of great friends and have a weekend out being silly and having a whale of a time.


Surprisingly i didnt find bangalore that irritating this time around. Usually the weather, the "we-will-have-boards-only-in-kannada" buses, the "so-slow-that-i-d-prefer-walking" traffic, the "we-dont-know-any-other-word-except-gothilla" people and the "so-sweet-i-dunno-if-its-kesari-or-sambhar" sambhar get on my nerves but this time none of it bothered me (errrr because the weather was perfect, not too hot, not too cold, we didnt take the bus at all except to go to bannerghatta, since we were out of the city all the time i didnt get a taste of the traffic much and thankfully we didnt have to ask for direction to be answered with a gothilla. Aaaah!! Pro-Bangaloreans i am sorry and maybe i am biased or maybe because i have been in chennai for so long i cant appreciate or love any other city as much as i love Chennai)


Akiiiii, Thanks for being a wonderful host and also for the treat in Metro and errrr please dont tell anyone about that goof up i did in Metro about the train leaving and catching the next one. OMG!! i dont think i will ever live that down!! :D


My IQ levels on this trip to bangalore were at an all time low. I was unsually absent minded, pathetically slow in understanding things, horrendously stupid and kept saying things which made no sense whatsoever.

Me: Hey Sandy who paid for the caps
Sandy: I did Revs
Me: oh ok. I need to keep an account of who is spending what.
after 5 minutes
Me: oh by the way Sandy who paid for the caps?
Sandy: ^*%#^#^#$@

Sandy: Hey maybe we should get a breakfast parcel for the rest of the girls Aki

Me: Yeah good idea.

Aki: Yeah. I will call them and ask them what they wantMe: Yeah ok

(after 2 mins when Aki was talking on the phone to the others)

Me: Heyyyyyyy!! i have a great idea. Why should all of them come here and have breakfast? We can pack a parcel for them and take it home right??

Aki: Duh!!!!!

Sighhh!! Slowly and steadily (or rather at an exponential speed ) i think i am losing it!!

I also spent some time with a friend who recently got married. It gives me immense happiness when i see a very good friend of mine happily married and settled after having had a somewhat tumultuous life. He has married an angel or rather a super woman who cooks amazingly well from morning to night for 20 people, maintains the house like a hotel room, talks well with everyone whether she knows them or not and also manages to study for her exams and all this just 2 months after her marriage!! Sheeesh!! She is the kind of girl i would never want my mother to meet or see!! The ideal woman!! :P

So it was a great weekend and i just realised that since the start of this year i have been home only one weekend!! :P. Nowadays if i stay home weekends my grandmother thinks i am sick and gets all worried!! :P

Sighhhh!! Oh for 5 day weekends!!

Some pictures. :)

errrrr..this is not a bunch of retards. Thats us doing kung fu!!:P:P. Notice the one on the extreme left hanging like a clothes hanger in a cupboard!! :P

Doing what we do best. Being stupid!! :P

A friendly zebra in bannerghatta!! :)

Yawn!!!!

I am sitting in a meeting room listening to something which I don’t understand, listening to some technology which is beyond me, an application which I wont use, a knowledge which I cannot appreciate. Yes I am bored, yes I am sleepy and it will not look nice if I suddenly fall asleep on the glass table when 10 other people are listening intently. Hence I am doing what I do when I dunno what to do. I am writing. It is at the most inappropriate of times that I decide to do some introspection. I mean right now I am supposed to be listening, understanding and absorbing a new earth shattering application. Everyone else around me thinks I am scribbling some notes related to the meeting in my notepad. I cant help but smile when I think of how they would react if they really knew what I was writing. Oh shit!! A team mate of mine just saw me grinning and wants to know what I find funny. Turns out she is also bored. Think Revs think. What is so funny about this meeting/application that makes u smile?

"heh heh!!" I smile lamely "her voice" I say pointing to the phone from which emanates the voice of a lady who is teaching us how to use the application. "is so funny"
"heh heh" my team mate laughs
"heh heh" I reply
I am sure she thinks I have an IQ lower that lowest form of aquatic life. Whatever!! I am used to that!!

Ah!! Where was I ? yeah!! Introspection. Coming back to that. There is a voice inside me which is asking me "why are u doing this? Why are u even sitting here pretending to listen but paying as much attention as this country pays to its women (my blood boils as I think of the fact that Mysore issue and the Karnataka CM's statements about it. Maybe I will write about it next. But I need to simmer a little down to write about it. On second thoughts Maybe i wont write about it. This blog never made any sense anyway and i would hate for it to do so suddenly!! hmmm)

For the first time in my life I find myself shutting out my inner voice because for the first time I dunno what answer to give!! Why am I doing this? Why am I sitting in this room listening to some application which is earth shattering and I am about as interested in listening to it as you would be in getting ur daughter married to dawood Ibrahim. There is a saying which goes like this
"if u don’t do what u like u will eventually end up liking what u do"?
I am scared. I am scared a day will come when I will go "sigh!! how beautiful. What grace. What panache" and shed happy tears when I see a java code compiling or an sql query working. I hope that never happens to me.

Rofl!! A team mate just asked me if I was taking down notes and I cant help laughing out aloud. Another team mate quips "Revathi and taking down notes. humph" she smirks. "you have got to be kidding. Must be writing a blog" . I am glad for her support. I guess I must be really really predictable.

Anyway I am not complaining. I am really not. I am just errr..musing!! :rolling eyes: I love my life as it is now but sometimes I feel it really has no meaning. Sometimes I have these troughs in my life’s graph (this is one of them after a long crest period!! :)) when I feel I could have done something else, been someone else, done something I really like to do. Hmmmm. Sighhhhh. I hate the 'if only..' phases of my life.

Ewwww. Another team mate of mine just saw that I had written 2 pages and wants to read what I have written. I better stop now and continue my ramblings. Maybe when the next meeting happens. In S/W companies trust me there is no dearth of silly meetings!!

P.S: Yep!! Coding phase of my project has started!! Pretty evident huh?? ;)

Bakwaas

It was a wonderful long weekend. Long weekends are like a family pack of chocolate chip icecream. Large and wonderful and delicious and SEEMINGLY never ending but when they get over you are left with a pleasant taste in your mouth and an empty box, hopelessly wishing there were more left. If you thought coming to office on Monday was the pits try coming to office on a Tuesday after a long weekend. I mean I almost think of it as capital punishment.

Boss: Revathi, We charge you with the offence of having a fantabulous weekend not staring at a computer screen but having maximum fun. You deserve capital punishment and will be placed on the death row. Go to office at 8.30 on Tuesday.
Me: Nooooooooooooooooo!!

Sigh!! Ok!! So I am overreacting but after a great weekend work is the second last thing I want to do. The last thing being drinking the vending machine ki chai.

I went on a trek to Javadhu hills this weekend. Javadhu hills are a part of the eastern ghats located near vellore famous for sandalwood trees and frequented by our very own Veerappan.
Maybe it is psychological or maybe the trek was super easy (who am I kidding. It WAS easy) but I trekked like a mountain goat. The kind of mountain goat which throws caution to the wind and leaps and skips and jumps confidently over rocks confident of its step. I would like to think its because of my 5km running in the morning. Ok. So time to blow my trumpet!! Ahem!!
I have been sincerely running 5 kms from my house (near grand sweets adyar) to Tidel park everyday in the morning all of last week. I didn’t bunk a single day or play hooky. If you know me you will realize what a Herculean task it is for me to get up in the morning at 6.00 to go running when the weather is cold and perfect outside and my bed looks so inviting. The fact that I have done it for a week makes me feel pretty much the same way Edmund Hillary and Tensing Norgay felt after they had scaled the baap of all mountains. I don’t know what my motivation is. In the past 23 years my mother has tried, my sister has tried my grandmother has tried, my roommates have tried waking me up at 6 in the morning without luck. I just wouldn’t wake up. Exercise to me was for people above the age of 50 or those who had some disease.
I think it is largely because of the pathetic form I was in during the Kolli trek panting and puffing like an 80 year, 95 kg woman that I am running so sincerely now. After Kolli I promised myself that I would try to regain the form I was in in class 7th when my physical education teacher had nicknamed me "Lambi race ka ghoda" because I had excellent stamina and would run 7km marathons as effortlessly as Obama delivers a speech. I mostly go wagging (errrr walking + jogging) in the morning nowadays. Jogging for about 4 minutes, walking for another 2, jogging again and so on and so forth and I seem to be doing better each day. the first day it took me 50 minutes and nowadays it takes me somewhere between 38 to 42 minutes to jog 5 kms.
Ok so that’s enough blowing my trumpet. I just hope I can continue in this spirit for at least 2 more months.

I came back on Sunday night from the trek and went to watch Slumdog Millionaire on Monday. It’s a good movie but I am not sure if its worth all that hype. I mean personally I think the media needs to chill a little because I have definitely seen better Indian movies which never got the kind of hype SDM did. I mean hadh hai yaar. Jahaan jao bas slumdog hi slumdog hai. I have seen T shirts, mugs, pirated VCDs, fan clubs, golden globes and Oscars associated with SDM. For the past 2 weeks both the Hindu and Times have had at least one article or "tidbit" associated with Slumdog.

Dev is a very warm human being - Frieda Pinto. (Yeah and we are all cold blooded mass murderers).

Dev has to work very hard to lose his accent.

SRK was offered Anil’s role but he refused..

Uffff!!
I went to Odyssey and saw that Vikas Swarup has changed the name of his novel from Q & A to Slumdog Millionaire!! Sheeeesh!! Which reminds me there is a sale on at Odyssey. So all u book lovers now is the right time to visit Odyssey. I have already hoarded.

Coming back to Slumdog there were lots of places where it was unreal. I mean it would have been authentic had the kids spoken in Hindi. The Taj Mahal scenes were a little too hard to digest. I mean the part when the kids are young was nice mainly because of the use of Hindi.And whats with Anil Kapoor? I mean the least he could have done is learnt to pronounce the word "millionaire" correctly given the fact that he uses it so often in the movie. His pronunciation ranges from "mill-nare" to "mill-ner" to so many other things except millionaire. Anyway I liked the movie. Good time pass though at times I wonder if the movie would have worked if some Indian director had made it. Hmmm. And I loved the music but then again I have heard better from Rehman again. I think Bombay, Roja and all were classics and SM’s music pales in comparison to them.

But like I said its good time pass watching the movie and when Dev Patel looks so cute who am I to complain?? ;)

So that was my weekend. Wanted to badly watch the plays and attend a concert at Saarang but trekking takes preference any day.

Signing off in the hope of another long and fun weekend
Yours Truly
Revs

From: Ramanan, Revathi
Sent: Tuesday, January 20, 2009 10:11 AM
To: Preethi Ramanan
Subject:

Preethi Preethi!! I found this totally cool site called thestorez.com where u can order any book u want to and along with shipping it costs much less than what the book would cost in odyssey or landmark. and they give u the best deals. i mean three men in a boat by jerome k jerome was worth 395 bucks in odyssey and in the storez i saw another publisher publishing the same book for 70 bucks. i mean wow!!
Mast na? Jaldi tera credit card de kameeni. i will use it to buy the books coz i dont have one

From: Preethi Ramanan
Sent: Tuesday, January 20, 2009 10:26 PM
To: Ramanan, Revathi
Subject:
Arey wow!! totally cool yaar. Yeah yeah. will give u my credit card number. been wanting to buy so many books but they are so expensive here in dubai. but ek doubt hai. along with shipping how is it so cheap? they deliver outside india for the same rates? i mean dubai ko free mein ship kartein hai kya

From: Ramanan, Revathi
Sent: Tuesday, January 20, 2009 10:43 PM
To: Preethi Ramanan
Subject:

Errrr. They are located in Chennai. Dubai ko shayad ship nahi kartein. lemme check

From: Preethi Ramanan
Sent: Tuesday, January 20, 2009 11:07 PM
To: Ramanan, Revathi
Subject:


they dont deliver to locations outside india :( naai.. its like telling me .. there is a website where if u order ravaladdoo.. they deliver free patty like ravaladoos .. and then i find out that it is not for locaitons outside india.. NAIYE!! BAH. to hell with you and your site

From: Ramanan, Revathi
Sent: Tuesday, January 20, 2009 10:43 PM
To: Preethi Ramanan
Subject:

Errrr. does this mean no credit card?? :rolling eyes:

True Dummy - by Ashish Jaiswal - A review

When I first started reading true dummy I picked it up with a lot of apprehension. Its not the kind of book I would normally pick up during my monthly book buying sprees. It has a lot of philosophy and a blurb which says “True Dummy engages with questions about existence, ambition and the meaning and purpose of life while addressing the most soul searching dilemmas of the human race”. I have a general rule while buying books. Never buy books which promise to tell you the meaning of life. I always say, Hell!! When someone can find out the meaning and purpose of life the whole joy of living is lost. I think life is interesting and exciting only because of the fact that it is hugely uncertain and u never know what to expect at which corner. But when one gets a sincere request from someone asking one to review their first book one is intrigued and more so when a free copy of the book is shipped at one’s doorstep. ;)

Anyway, I must say I started reading true dummy with pre conceived notions about the book assuming it must be one of those books to belt our free and unwanted gyaan.

The book is about a boy who runs away from his village along with his friend to a distant island – the fabled island of true pearls or the achievers after listening to an old woman in his village who tells him about the island and those people who are true pearls and those who are dummies. He reaches the island meets a man who tells his friend and him about the three different ways to become a true pearl. Either take the money gate, the power gate or the fame gate, prove yourself worthy of being a pearl in the “Rings” and become a true pearl. In his quest to be a true pearl he falls in love, endures betrayal, pain, suffering, experiences true love, learns from his experiences, learns from his mistakes, learns to differentiate between genuine people and superficial people, meets different kinds of people and his experiences finally culminate to an interesting and fairly gripping and unexpected climax.

As I read the book I could find stark similarities between true dummy and paul coelho’s alchemist. The style of narration, not revealing many names and just using terms like the boy, the old woman, well dressed man etc, the setting of the novel, the basic premise of both the books being the same – follow your dreams.

But on further reading I found a lot of differences too. For one I seemed to understand true dummy, which is more than what can be said of what I felt about alchemist. There were many places in the alchemist which never made sense to me primarily because I am person who needs facts on my face. Subtle hints and inner meanings always elude me. True dummy excels here. Its simple language and powerful narrative make sure you read the book till the end.

The book does not grip the reader and I would definitely not call it a page turner but there is something about the book which makes u want to finish it and find out finally what happens to the protagonist. In spite of this being his first book I was very impressed with some of the examples and stories used by Ashish Jaiswal which are very simple yet make you sit up and think. Especially the part where he talks about how the human brain is divided into two parts and goes on to explain what each part does is really good. Similarly all his conversations with Ira where she tells him stories is also quite engrossing. This is one book which gives u gyaan- and loads of it but doesn’t get preachy or over the board at any point of time. It is like the pachatantra or Aesop fables for people above the age of 20. Jaiswal gives you gyaan in a way that u don’t even realize you have been enlightened.

Furthermore some of the one liners in True Dummy are sure to stay in your mind for a long time. Like “people who are afraid of death are the ones who have no imagination” or “the tears of defeat are not to be spent. They are to be saved for fuelling forthcoming battles” or the one liners about talent and practice etc are quite good.

There are some places where the book gets a little wishy washy and you wish the author had tightened up the story a little bit and I personally felt the climax dragged a little bit but given the fact that this is Mr.Jaiswal’s first book I think I am more than willing to pardon these flaws. It is a very very sincere attempt by a first time author and the effort must be lauded and appreciated. The book might not attain iconic status like the Alchemist did and taking a leaf from the book itself, it might not go on to become a “true pearl” in the world of books but if you read the book you will understand that it is not even necessary to become one.

Good Job Mr.Jaiswal.

1. The resilient nature of humans will never fail to amaze me. Its amazing how soon normal life resumes after any kind of calamity or mishap. Its time to quote the most cliched dialogue of all time. Life just goes on come what may. So after a terrible week now everyone a home is slowly limping back to normalcy carrying on with their routine lives.

2. I must have done something right in some of my previous births to deserve the kind of friends i have. Aki, Moti, Gundoo, Sam, Diw. Thanks a lot for just being there on sunday and lending me your shoulder. i owe u guys one.

3. It was G.B.C.I's (my blog's) third birthday on Jan 10th. I dont think i can ever think of GBCI's birthday without thinking of perima.

4. Its not very difficult to actually pretend like you are working. All u need is an excel sheet with some gibberish written on it and keep adjusting the column width or copy, paste data from one cell to another. Be sure to listen to some music so that no one disturbs you or asks you what you are doing. You will be in trouble then.

5. My dad's concept of missed calls is very weird. I tell him clearly "Appa, i will give u a missed call. Just let your phone ring and then call me back. ok?" But he picks my call grunts into the mouthpiece and then cuts it. When i asked him why he does that he says "i need to ackowledge your call dont i?". Sheeesh!! Me thinks my dad doesnt know what the red button in the phone is for. he just always uses the green button! :-\. Oh BTW all you people who are thinking "sheeesh, she still gives missed calls?? Even now when she is earning??" lemme hasten to reassure you that i m not the kind of leech who likes to suck all the blood out of her parents and then go "Smack!! That was yum!!". Its just that its free if my parents call me. :rolling eyes:

6. My sister who is(or is it was. I dunno. She refuses to tell me!! :P) working for a certain company which errr is going through rough times now (no prizes for guessing which company i am talking about.;)) has been threatened by her husband that he will throw her out of the house or mete out untold atrocities on her if she doesnt earn her rozi roti. So if any of you good samaritans want to prevent domestic violence. please give my sister a job!! :P

(I sound like those guys who come on local trains with letters which read "I am deaf dumb blind lame and have 4 holes in my heart. Heart surgery will cost 175000 rupees. Please donate generously" with a pitiful look on their face)
Yaar Preethi. Just hang in there. Tera kuch na kuch bandobast mai karti hoon. Behen hoon aakhir. Kuch to farz banta hai!! :P

7. I think i am becoming super old. There was a time 6 months back when i had amazing stamina and could trek easily for a long time. Last weekend's trek to kolli just proved what a pathetic shape i am in. I needed to take rest every 10 metres and panted and puffed my way up the mountain. People who called me super woman in the last trek looked down upon me the same way narayan murthy is now looking down upon satyam employees. (that was mean of u mr.murthy. Satyam employees are not at fault if their CEO goofs up. Its almost like saying all muslims are terrorists just because majority of the terrorists are muslims).
anyway bottom line, i need to buck up and i am going to run 5 kms everyday starting next week and build my stamina!! (no kidding!!).

8. I thoought i got over my OCD. Apparently not. i saw 7 points and my hands itched to make that number even and write one more point. Hence this point. 7 rubbish points or 8 rubbish points. what difference does it make?? :P

Dear Perima,
I went to K-63 today. Today for the very first time i didnt bound up the stairs with a song on my lips the way i have been doing almost every sunday for the past 3 years, the way i did last sunday. Today for the first time i didnt burst into your house shouting "Perima, Peripa". Today for the very first time i didnt feel like coming to K-63 because today for the FIRST time in the past 23 years of my visiting K-63, I didnt see you or talk to you.

Everything in that house reminds you of me. i didnt go beyond the hall today. I think about the rest of the house and fresh tears appear in my eyes. I think about the dining room in K-63 and i think of the umpteen number of delicacies that have been dished out of those loving hands, your famous adai, the hot bajjis which you would invariably make every time it rained and give preethi or me a call and ask us to collect it. I think of the bedroom and it reminds me of your chair in front of the bed, your hearing aid in a small box, a chain of prayer beads next to them, a kumudam with pictures of scantily clas women on it which you would disdainfully turn up your nose at and comment about everything right from Sneha's sense of dressing to Peripa's hairstyle.
I think about the balcony and it reminds me of your saree drying there, with the faint smell of mysore sandal soap and some powder - cuticura i think, on it.

In more than one way K-63 has been more than a home for me. All those summer holidays spent lazily ambling in and around K-63, playing house house with Ramya and Vidya when you would loan us your saree and help us tie it from the dining table to the fridge and make a mock house and solemnly drink from the empty toy cups which we swore had coffee in it. How can i forget all those nights you would make us sit in a row, give us thayir sadam with a little bit of mavadu thanni on it and then patiently put mardaani on all our hands. I dont think you ever complained about the bathroom or the wash basin being dirty when the next morning in our excitement to see the color of our mardaani we would scrape it off all over the house.

I remember you wore the saree which i got you from my first salary immediately the week after i bought it for you. I didnt recognize it but as soon as i came home the next week, though you werent able to speak you gestured at the saree telling me that it was the one which i had bought.
I have seen you go from being the bold commanding decision making perima to the weak, frail, helpless perima restricted to a chair. The transition was not easy. neither for you nor for us who were so used to seeing you in command either busily entertaining the plethora of guests which K-63 always had at any given point of time during the day, cooking for them, asking about their families, managing to sneak in a game of cards, go shopping and do so many other things. You were super woman perima. You never forgot a single person, single child, a single meal and always had something to say to everyone.

It was extremely difficult for us to see you sit at one place, eat boiled vegetables - oh how how much u hated those!!, drink hot water, unable to hear, unable to talk on the phone and unable to do anything which you loved doing. I am sure it killed you to be bedridden and ask for help but never once did we hear you complain. what were you made of? Diamond is my guess.
Today for the first time i saw peripa cry. He misses you terribly Perima. 55 years of togetherness is not a joke and for a man who has been hopelessly dependent on you for the smallest of his needs your absence is devastating. He is broken to say the least. you have spoilt him silly.

I am sorry i couldnt be there when they took you away. I am sorry I was in a place which was completely unreachable when people called me to inform me of your demise. I never believd in fate. i think i do now. You know i never switch my phone off, always attend calls and always keep u guys informed about where i am. That ill fated day the thought of calling home never crossed my mind and while everyone was frantically trying to reach me i was up in some mountains which had no signal, blissfully unaware of what was happening in Chennai. I am sorry Perima and i hope you will forgive me.

I think i am one of the blessed souls who saw you four days before you left us. Perima i told you i wouldnt be able to come this weekend and that i would come and see you during Pongal. Not even for a moment did i think that would be last time i would see you.

I just sit silently not allowing any thoughts to creep in and try to concentrate on mundane and routine things but after some time the tears are flowing freely down my cheek in ur memory. I cant imagine going to K-63 without you, I cant imagine a sunday without visiting you, i cant imagine peripa without you. You are one person who i loved and admired the most perima and i think this sentiment is very widely found among many members of the Nataraja iyer family.

You will be missed sorely and mourned deeply perima.

May your soul rest in peace.

Shruthi.

Resolutions Checklist

How good have i been in this last year?

Have i followed all my resolutions?

A little FLASHBACK

I had taken the following resolutions last year

1. I am going to practice being nice. Nice to everyone I know, don’t know, like, dislike, everyone

Check

As far as i know i dont think i have hurt anyone, killed anyone, blackmailed anyone or molested anyone in this past one year!! I have smiled at people though i have felt like kicking them where it hurts, i have helped people (errr a person) whom i dont know at all. So yeah!! i think this resolution has been kept

2. I am going to start writing accounts

Uncheck

Sighh!! next question please!! :(

I wrote accounts till mid february and then i realised i was still spending and burning money like i was doing when i was not writing accounts!! And Sheikheee and I took this resolution together. He lasted till April, but yay!! even he broke it. So i dont have to feel that guilty. (Not that sheikhee is an ISO certifed account writer mind you but still knowing that someone else also failed miserably helps!! Misery loves company you see! :P)

3. I am going to do more of what I like this year

Check Check Check!!

2008 has been a GREAT year for me w.r.t doing things i like, w.r.t spending time with friends, w.r.t being good to family, w.r.t making a lot of new friends, w.r.t having the time of my life!! 2008 was good!! :)

4. I am going to read more books

Check Check Check again!! :)

Read a lottttt of books. Bought a lott of books. Threatened friends to gift me a lot of books. Actually made my sister read Shantaram and appreciate it!! (Yay!! :)), discovered a lot of good writers (Indian mostly). So yeah!! This resolution was the one i kept with utmost sincerity!! :)
So what are my resolutions for this year??

Oh well!! Pretty much the same actually (remove 2) along with proper trekking thrown in. Did a couple of treks, loved them and would love to do more!! Western Ghats and North East India here i come!! :):)

Welcome 2009!! :). Hope u r as good to me as 2008 was!! :)
Happy New Year folks!! :)

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi - a Reviewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!

DISCLAIMER: As usual Heavy Sarcasm ahead.

Ok!! I tried my level best to give a neutral title which wouldn’t give away what I felt about the movie but sigh, I guess my hatred for the movie got the better of me and hence the title.
Before reading ahead I would request you guys to have a look at Arun's brilliant spoof on the same movie which represents perfectly what I think of it. "Drab and Banal Jodi". God Arun!! How do u think of such befitting names. Brilliant!! :)

Some movies are made just for critics. If all movies were good, critics would be out of work so u can always trust yashraj movies and Aditya Chopra to dish out something which can make critics rub their hands in glee and close in for the kill

Ok!! maybe my review might be biased because,
1. I can’t STAND SRK and his hysterics (read acting)
2. I can’t stand his exaggerated smile and dimple
3. I can’t stand him crying and my favorite movies are the ones where he dies in the end and I am not kidding when I say I was the only one clapping my hands cheerfully in the theatre when SRK died in Kal Ho Na Ho.

I mean seriously. Doesn’t Aditya Chopra get tired? Of making the same kind of movies again and again and again and again with no other formula except boy+girl+gooey sappy love. All his movies have just these ingredients but different variations of the same nonsense.

For how many years will we keep hearing dialogues like the following

1. 'Har ladki yehi chahti hai ki koi ladka usse deewanon jaisa pyaar kare. aur kuch nahi chahiye ek ladki ko'

Oh yeah!! we don’t care if the guy is a serial rapist or doesn’t earn a penny or owns a garage or doesn’t have a sense of humor or wears crappy clothes and has an even more crappier accent
we just want a guy who can cause a blackout in the city and trouble all its citizens and do "deewaanon jaisa pyaar" (whatever thats supposed to mean). Though I have never been in love frankly I really think a sensible girl would want something a little more than "dewwanon jaisa pyaar"

2. 'Maine to aapko ek boondh bhi pyaar nahi diya aur aap mujh pe baarish pe baarish barsaate gaye'
Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
I thought Hindi movies had stopped having dialogues like "Aap mere maang ka sindoor ho", "Mai apne pranon ki ahuti de doongi". You know the kind I am talking about. I mean how much more clichéd can it get. Girl loves someone else. Cant marry him. Marries boy who dotes on her. Doesn’t realize his love till last scene and then belts out dialogues like those mentioned above!! The same concept was handled so beautifully and subtly in Mouna Ragam. Maybe I am biased or maybe I just think Mani Ratnam is a much much much better director than Aditya Chopra ever will be. Even hum dil de chuke sanam handled it very well while RNBDJ makes a mockery of it.

3. 'Mujhe maaf kar do Raj. Ek pal ke liye tumhare pyaar ne mujhe kamzor kar diya tha par maine unme (the other SRK) Rab dekh liye'

Sighhhhhhhh!! The whole movie is based on the premise that we only oughta be with someone in whom we can see Rab (god) and they keep harping about it in the whole movie. The silliest thing being that our heroine plans to run away with the Raj-The Electrician (Errrr. yeah. to prove his love, Raj our mohabbat man take his Taani partner (ewwwwwwwwww) to the top of a hill and writes "I Love You" by cutting out the appropriate lights in Amritsar city) because her husband is a big bore.

And then the next day she goes to the golden temple and prays "Mujhe Rab dikha do, Rab dikha do" and she opens her eyes and sees Shahrukh walking towards her and realisation dawns upon her that he is her Rab. (All Rab's doing mind you. He doesn’t have time to save this world from terrorism, feed the hungry millions, prevent global warming but oh yeah!! He does have the time to show some non descript girl in Amritsar her true love!! Extremely realistic don’t u think?? If u want to know who you must spend the rest of your life with just go to the nearest temple and say "Show me God, Show me God" and then when you open your eyes, whoever you see is your man/woman. errrr. Author of the blog is NOT to be blamed if someone of the same sex stands in front of you or the temple's pujari stands there. No sir!! C'mon. its a "formula" suggested by Aditya Soap-Opera(Thanks Arun!! :)) in RNBDJ!! Its as realistic as any movie can get! BAH BAH BAH!!)

The movie is ridden with such cliches.

1. The bubbly chirpy girl who sings, laughs, loves her doggie, kisses her dad as he goes 'Babul ko chod ke ja rahi hai tu beta', is never sad, so bubbly that she would make champagne look like nariyal paani and then our boy will fall for her. Sheeeeeeeesh!! Aditya Chopra. We saw Kajol in DDLJ dancing in the rain doing the bubbly girl act, we saw her in K3G doing the fun-jabi girl act, we saw her again in KKHH doing the same thing, we saw Madhuri (or was it Karishma) doing the rain dance in DTPH. Just asking, but "HOW MANY MORE SUCH MOVIES WILL YOU MAKE US WATCH"

2. The dying father "sonpofying" his beti's hand in marriage to a nerdy guy.

3. The girl going "Mai aapse kabhi pyaar nahi kar sakti. Pyaar mein bohot dard hota hai" and trying to play the dutiful wife who cant love her husband

4. The rains. The girl getting caught in the rain and the boy giving her a lift.Puhleeeese!! and as if thats not enough to RUB (pun intended!! :P) it in we have Raj the mohabbat man belting out dialogues like "Baarish mai apni aankhne band kar ke.." some shit. I don’t even remember!!

5. The guy going "Rab naraaz to nahi ho jayenge na, kyunki mai tumhe unse zyada chahta hoon". Sheeeeesh!! Thats the most clichéd dialogue I ever heard. I think the dialogue writer probably made a list of "100 crappiest and most clichéd dialogues ever used in Hindi movies" and generously sprinkled RNBDJ with items on that list.

6. And I am not even talking about the MOST talked about loophole in the movie that how can a girl not recognise her husband after he shaves his mouche off?? Selective Amnesia? Alzheimers? Naaah!! They don’t even attempt to explain that in the movie. According to the movie the best disguise a men can ever get is a mouchless face!! We had superb Hindi films like Golmaal (the old one!!! Obviously!!) where we had guys who were twins and the only difference was that one of them had a mouche and the other didn’t and we have movies like RNBDJ (director of Golmaal wherever you are please forgive me for mentioning RNBDJ in the same breath as your movie) where a mouche changes the entire person!! HUMPH!!

7. one more time I hear someone go “Hum hain rahi pyaar ke, phir milenge, chalte chalte” kasam mamta kulkarni ki, I will shoot myself. Mohabbat Man Raj says this a gazillion times in the movie thinking its very cute, hoping to induce a couple of laughs among the audience but failing miserably and only managing to do what he does best. Irritate us with his “he he he he he”!! :-\

Ok!! Now for the positives

Just one. Vinay Pathak.
I don’t understand why an actor of Vinay Pathak’s caliber agreed to work under the Yash Raj banner and belt out sappy dialogues now and then. But Vinay Pathak is the saving grace of the movie. His timely comedy and his dialogues (ironic isn’t it? That the hero and heroine get all the crappy dialogues and the comedian gets the best ones) are seriously worth a watch. The scene where Vinay Pathak says “Saara macho kharab kar ditta” and SRK innocently asks “yaar, yeh macho bike ka kaunsa bhaag hota hai?” is brilliant. Vinay Pathak does a good job, but that’s what he always does.

The newcomer Anoushka is ok with her dancing and acting (not that her character gave much scope for it but she is ok) but is definitely not in the big league of heroines.

And the Surinder – SRK does a fairly decent job at being a nerd but this good show is spoilt by the overacting done by his alter ego - Raj

On the whole I would say watch the movie if you liked KANK, KHNK, K3G, K2H2,DDLJ,DTPH, Mujhse dosti karoge etc and if you think that everyone is blessed with true love and all u need to do is wait for a full moon day where fairies will make u meet your dream boy/girl, and that god has nothing better to do than script your love story and that while it rains you should not run for shelter but taste the rain drops and think about the one you love.

Ok I don’t want to RUB it in any further. You get the drift dotchya? Final verdict - Don’t watch it. Please!!

Ok. So following is what i wrote for a mystery story writing contest in office. Please do let me know what you think of this because i didnt like it much when i read it the second and third time around. anyway. here it is!! :)

brickbats welcome!! :P

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December 12th 2007
He sat on the cold stone slab inside his cell, his head bent down, breathing heavily even as he felt a warm sticky liquid, his blood, trickle down the base of his neck and drip on his jail clothes. He winced as he thought of how the brutal jail barber had inhumanly shaved off all his hair with a few quick strokes of a rusted blade. But not a cry had escaped from his mouth as he had sat through the ordeal.

A grating sound came as an aluminum dish was crudely pushed into his cell and the warden said “khana kha le. Khuda jaane phir kab tujhe khana naseeb ho –Eat your food, lord knows when you will see food again”. He picked up the dish which consisted of rice in a yellow color liquid and sighed as he saw the little boll worms in the rice. They didn’t clean the rice even for the prisoners on the death row he thought as he pushed away the plate disgustedly. But then again food was the last thing on the mind of a prisoner on the death row.

Its funny how they say your entire life flashes before u just moments before you are about to die. He now closed his eyes and saw Tasneem, his beautiful Tasneem standing in front of him, smiling a shy smile and wearing the gorgeous pink salwar he loved so much, her head bent, looking just the way she had looked the first day when he had gone to meet her. For him it was love at first sight. It was a standing joke between them and Tasneem would say that it was the pink salwar he had fallen in love with at first sight and he would be quick to assure her that it was Tasneem in the pink salwar that he had fallen for – hook line and sinker. Tasneem. Charming, beautiful, intelligent, playful, a perfect mother, wife and daughter in law. She was too good to be true. The smell of jasmine in her hair, the faint smell of her favorite rose perfume from her clothes, her twinkling eyes, her laughter, the comfort of her arms. He would never feel them again. He would never see her again.

16 year old Sohrab. An adolescent now. He remembered how his neighbor qazi Aslam had held the baby in his hands and said “Inshallah khoobsoorti aur dimaag pe yeh baccha Tasneem aur sirf Tasneem par hi jaaye - God willing, I hope the baby is blessed with the looks of Tasneem and the brains of Tasneem” and laughed. He was glad Aslam’s prophecy had come true. Sohrab with his handsome face and pleasing demeanor was the kind of son any father would love to have. Playing chess with him and losing miserably, going on drives with him, laughing defenselessly when Tasneem and Sohrab ganged up against him. He would never experience all that again.

His parents. So much they had done for him. So much he had to learn from them. His mother’s chicken tikka, his father’s stories, their beautiful house by the river. Never again.

His closest friend. Major Enthu. Called so because of his infectious enthusiasm. Tall, Smart and extremely intelligent. At the age of 24 he had been a major in the army. He could liven up the coldest of days and the bleakest of atmospheres on the war front with his jokes and enthusiasm. They were best buddies despite the difference in age and ranks. Extremely fun loving and a never ending reservoir of jokes and anecdotes.

Operation Vijay during the Kargil war. Being shot in the right leg and being incapacitated right on the enemy lines. Enthu again. It was Enthu who had come back for him when everyone else had retreated to the safety of the trench. It was Enthu who had carried him over his shoulders for almost 8 kms to the safety of the Indian camp braving enemy shelling and firing and the extremely hostile weather of Kargil. It was Enthu who hadn’t given up on him though he had lost his senses because of immense blood loss and though Enthu himself had suffered minor injuries. It was Enthu who had arranged for him to be admitted in the army hospital in Srinagar. Enthu who had given him a new lease of life. Enthu who had enabled him the luxury of another 8 years with Tasneem and Sohrab.
He always wondered if he would ever be able to repay Enthu. Not any more.
He would never feel Enthu’s slap on his back, never hear another enthralling anecdote from him. Never again would he hear his comrades laugh saying “Major Enthu, maaaajor enthu”. Never again.

“Chalo chalo. Waqt aa gaya hai – Time is up” the heartless voice of the warden broke his reverie.
He got up, rudely pushing away the warden’s grip on his limp shoulders, staring right ahead at the empty wall, refusing to look into the gloating eyes of the warden.
“Vikram Rathod ji” read the warden sarcastically from the tag dangling from his arm and smirked. “Koi aakhri khwaish aapki? – Any last wishes?”

As a last act of defiance he spit on the floor.

The warden hit him hard across the shins and he bore it unflinchingly.
“Chalo Chalo” the warden spat out and pushed him roughly towards the exit of the jail to the open ground where the gallows were waiting for him.
He refused to look at anyone, he refused to look at the triumphant faces of the Pakistani army general and prime minister, refused to be intimidated by them, refused to be overcome by emotions. He had eyes only for the gallows which in some time would envelop him and release him to heaven. It seemed like the only friend he had now, in this foreign land.

There would be no 21 gun salute, no Indian flag draped royally over him, no medals for his bravery, no rewards for his wife and son, but it didn’t bother him.
He stood on the trap door, dispassionately facing the gallows and not uttering a sound as the black hood descended over his head and the noose was tightened over his head. It was ironic. All through life man is afraid of death, the inevitable, but in the last few minutes before facing death a deep calm descends over him which overpowers any feeling of fear.

Click

The trap door opened, the noose tightened around his neck and the body of the condemned man twitched for a few seconds before periodically swinging like a pendulum from the gallows.

October 15th 2008
Detective Farzana was at a loss. 10 years as the best detective of the Pakistan ISI and this was the first time such a case had presented itself before her. “Either this case only seems uncomplicated or age is finally getting to me” she thought as she got up to have her nth cup of coffee from the vending machine and sat down to read the case history for the 100th time.
She had been appointed to investigate the death of Top Indian Spy and Best intelligence officer Major Vikram Rathod who had been hanged until death about an year back without a word to the Indian government. Though this fact irked Farzana she became mechanical because she knew how scrupulous the Pakistani bureaucracy was and she got down into the details of the case even as she reached the fag end of her coffee, the bitter part which she liked and which helped her think.
There was something not right about the case was all that had been told to her. The man, Vikram Rathod the top Indian spy and a prize catch for Pakistan had however turned out to be a damp squib because he had refused to reveal any information despite being subject to acute torture. Farzana winced for she knew the kind of torture techniques which were used by the Pakistani police. And finally out of frustration and just to spite the Indian government he had been hanged to death in front of all the leaders of PPP. Though these facts had been hidden from the India, they had told the Indian government that Vikram Rathod had been accidentally blown to bits when he had ventured unwittingly on Pakistani soil and had sent back his belongings as a sign of maintaining good will between the two countries.

The Indian Government had been surprisingly silent about the whole thing and the intelligence seemed stronger than ever and there didn’t seem to be any chink in india’s armor. Though India’s resilience and the inefficiency of its politicos was well known, their hardiness was too good to be true and it rankled the Pakistani government and intelligence and with the ISI reports that Vikram was still alive and working undercover they had issued a probe into the issue and assigned it to Farzana, easily their best.

But Farzana was at her wits end. It seemed like she was groping blindfolded in the dark. She had no evidence, she had no leads, hell she didn’t even have a case. All she had was the Pakistani government’s and intelligence’s intuition that there might be something wrong in the death of Vikram Rathod about an year back. Sigh!!

“Salaam alekum Farzana jaan. Working so late? Want some tea? Not this vending machine one. Like horse piss it is I always say. People say that you haven’t lived if you haven’t drunk Rahim’s tea” said Rahim the night watchman who had come to check on her.

“ha ha. Walekum-as-Salam Rahim chacha. Thanks a lot. I could do with some. This case is eating my head”

“And what case is that?” asked Rahim chacha as he returned with a cup of tea

“Nothing. You wont understand.” smiled Farzana as he sipped the “special tea”

“Ah!! You are underestimating my intelligence Farzana jaan. Bol ke to dekho – try me”

“Ah!! well” began Farzana condescendingly. “Can u please tell me what is so strange about Vikram Rathod’s death Rahim chacha?” she smiled as she pored over the case history again

“Vikram Rathod??” whispered Rahim chacha

Farzana looked up and saw that all the color had drained from his face.

“Are you ok Rahim chacha? Here have some tea” she urged him. “Did u know him?”

“Did I know him? Of course I did. Or at least I knew the man who pretended to be Vikram Rathod”

“What??? What are u saying??”

“I will tell you one thing Farzana jaan and may Allah strike me and my family with lightning if I lie but that man who was hanged an year back was not Vikram Rathod. I don’t think he was even Hindu.”

“B.But how do u know?”

“He recited verses from the Kuran everyday, he would do namaz silently when he thought no one was watching. He had the faint almost unnoticeable scar on his forehead which every staunch Musalmaan who does namaz regularly has and he never responded to the name Vikram Rathod when woken up in the middle of his sleep.”

“But ho-how do u know all this”

“I was the warden who was with him night and day. I got a chance to observe him closely and deal with him. It was recently that I quit that job to take up this less demanding one”

“But if u knew he wasn’t Vikram Rathod why didn’t u tell the higher authorities? Why didn’t u tell them when u saw him doing namaaz?”

“We have a law among us Musalmans Farzana jaan” said Rahim. “A man while he does his namaz and recites the Kuran is the son of god. And no son of God can be wrong. And there was something about that fellow. I don’t know what. He wasn’t a criminal. After 20 years as a jail warden I can tell the difference between a criminal and a good man. A criminal’s guilt settles around his shoulders, giving him a tense, wary and shifty look.” Said Rahim chacha
“But this man!! This man had this calm and quiet face. He had no fear, no guilt. Just blank, deep staring eyes which never looked at anyone, never spoke to anyone and just waited for an absolution to come. To be honest I was scared of him. If I had told on him Allah would never have forgiven me. I will leave you to do your work Farzana jaan but be rest assured that Vikram Rathod never stepped on Pakistani soil and we hanged a Musalmaan last year. Khudahaafiz”

Farzana’s head was spinning. If she were to believe Rahim chacha, the case was getting thicker and thicker. Who was the man who had been hung a year back? And where was Vikram Rathod if not dead?
She quickly logged on to the internet to read more about Vikram Rathod. “The late Vikram Rathod”, it said “was a sterling army officer and a gem of a man”. The website was full of praise for him and she quickly scanned the page till her eyes fell on a title named Awards. “Vikram Rathod was awarded the President medal for bravery for having saved the life of a fellow soldier Abdul Mohammed in the Kargil war in 2001. Abdul Mohammed was declared missing and later dead around the same time when news of Vikram’s death reached the Indian government and his body was never found”
Farzana quickly checked the date when the website had been updated and the date was around 6 months back. Which meant an year back Abdul Mohammed had been declared missing. She ran a search on Abdul Mohammed to find out that Vikram Rathod and he had been very close friends and he had been declared missing around the same time when news of Vikram Rathod’s death had reached the Indian government. And in a little family photo of Abdul’s she saw his face and her heart skipped a beat and she looked up from the computer to her confidential case file – given exclusively to her, which had a photo of the man who had been hung an year back.
They were the same.
The overwhelming truth dawned on her and the weight of the fantastic deception crushed her and she slumped into her chair and sat numb as she let the facts sink in.

Two months later Farzana closed the case on the basis of insufficient and lack of incriminating evidence and quit her enviable position at the Pakistani intelligence

December 12th 2008
Vikram Rathod, popularly known as Enthu among his friends, lifted his hand up to salute the brave martyr Abdul Mohammed as a 21 gun salute for him rang through the air. It had been an year since Abdul had died in an unknown land at the hands of ruthless extremists. An year since Vikram had been wounded very close to the LOC while escaping with extremely sensitive information from Pakistani soldiers. An year since Abdul had taken him to safety and told him he would tackle the Pakistanis. If Vikram knew the way Abdul was going to “tackle” the Pakistanis he would never have allowed it. Maybe that’s why Abdul never revealed the plan he had in his mind. Never breathed a word because he knew Vikram would never have allowed it.

Abdul knew that it as only a matter of time before the Pakistani soldiers caught up with the wounded Vikram, took him into their custody, tortured him and got the information which Vikram had guarded more securely than his life. Keeping Vikram alive and the information secure was vital for the success of their operation and realizing this Abdul had quickly stripped Vikram and worn his clothes. In his unconscious state Vikram hadn’t felt anything. Abdul had told Lieutenant Srivastav of his plan and asked him to take Vikram to safety and despite protests from Srivastav had gone ahead and ventured into Pakistani territory, deliberately gotten caught by the soldiers who had captured him, discovered his identity as Vikram Rathod, the top Indian spy, tortured him and killed him thinking he was Vikram.

It was the ultimate deception or the ultimate sacrifice depending on which side of the border you were on.

Vikram wiped a lone tear and felt the hair on his neck rising as he thought of Abdul and saw Tasneem bhabhi and Sohrab collect the compensation, Abdul’s medals and the posthumous Param Vir Chakra awarded to him for exceptional bravery and exemplary camaraderie as a sterling officer of the Indian army, from the President.

As he watched them the words of Srivastav about Abdul kept ringing in his ears.

“Not for a moment did he think or even reconsider his decision sir. He just jumped at the opportunity to repay you. He said if you had been there you would have done the same thing for him. I can say only one thing sir” Srivastav had paused as he swallowed the constriction in his throat. “I wish I had a friend like that”

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P.S: Concept "inspired" (Read: stolen shamelessly) from one of my favorite Archer novels and written by me to suit an indian audience!! :P:P.

P.P.S: Mystery for the readers!! :P. Find out which Archer novel i lifted this concept from!! ;)

Labak Ghulak Jhatak

DISCLAIMER: A fair knowledge of hindi, english and tamil is required to follow this post. :)

Sometimes it is not a boon if you know too many languages and can get very very confusing at time. For eg: i know hindi english and tamil fairly well and can converse and switch between the three languages quite fluently but sometimes i get thoroughly confused as to what language to talk and end up making a khichdi of all languages i know.
Sample the following incidents

1. Situation: A team mate telling me that XYZ is wearing new clothes and asking if i have pinched her (Errr yeah. you know the "new pinch same sweet" concepts which we used to indulge in as little kids? The "Hey new rubber, new pencil. New pinch" and then pinching the new person with all your might. I always thought it was a means for jealous people to vent out their frustration on their peers having new stuff which they wanted but didnt have. whatever. My team mates still indulge in such activities and yours truly can do nothing but oblige!! :-\)

Me: (always the one to discourage such activities): No man. Dont kill her. especially you. it hurts like hell when u kill.
Team Mate: errrr. what?
Me: what?
Team Mate: who said anything about killing her
Me: Sheeeesh. i meant kill as in pinch, u know in Tamil!! sorry.

2. Situation: I was with 2 of my friends the other day and one of them eats entirely too much and we were generally teasing him
Friend 1: He can actually eat 17 naans. no kidding. 17 naans and thayir sadam after that
Friend 2: i just like to eat man. whats wrong?
Friend 1: kids in somalia are probably dying because of the amount of food u consume
Me: Awww Chod na. Bechara valartha baccha hai.
Them: errrr
Me: what??
Them: valartha what??
Me: i mean badtha baccha, vallarra payyan. Sheeesh!!

3. Situation: a friend asking me to give an invitation to some body
Friend: Hey do give him the invitation man.
Me: Hey sure.
Friend: Courier it to him if u cant meet him
Me: Sure. i will give it to him when i see him in naer
Friend: eh??
Me: mmm
Friend: see him where??
Me: Errr. i mean see him in person or "naer la pakkaropo"

See what i mean. Total Confusion.and how can i forget all those umpteen times when i have said "I will talk later. Mujhe thookam aa raha hai" or "Pagal hai kya? Na kaise mail pannuven? i cant access gmail" or "Amma na tujhe later call pandren. Ippo i am in office" or "andha book tune padha. Yevlo super tha na" or "yaar movie itna kevalam tha, mai solla mudiyadhu".. :-\Reminds me of this time when my sister and i were travelling in train and this little gujju kid from sowcarpet fluent in tamil and gujju wanted to tell his mom that the "towel she had hung on the window was flying" and the kid went "mummy mummy thundu(Tamil) parke(Tamil+Guj) che(Gujju)" :D:D

P.S: The title..err.. my creativity is at a nadir today. I cant think of a single decent title that i can give to this post. Can you?

Owing to the installation of the toll at OMR all buses come half an hour early to office as a result of which i am here in office at 8.30, with no one around me, trying hard to start working and do a decent round of requirement analysis at least this time. exactly 20 seconds after i opened the requirements doc i realized i am totally totally not interested in this and so here i am another word doc open in front of me typing this nonsense.

· This weekend has been another one of THOSE weekends where i have done 3207423 things in a short span of 2 days. I like weekends like these. They leave me no time to think or brood. Even before i am done with one thing there is something else demanding my attention and i switch to that and before i know it whoooosh!! the weekends gone

· My close friend got married and friends’ marriages are always amazing fun with all the speculation about who is getting married next, brainstorming sessions about what gift to buy, staying the night at a friends place putting mehendi and watching movies. good fun :)

· I finally did hold the veil for my friend when she got married. God!! i felt so important. I mean no one was allowed to come close to the bride but another friend of mine and i were allowed to stay close, talk laugh and hold the veil. Felt good!! No one has ever given me so much of respect before!! :P

· This year started off with me attending the marriage of a hindu friend, followed by the marriage of a muslim friend and then followed by the marriage of a christian friend and i have come to the conclusion that hindu marriages are the most cumbersome and complicated of the lot. the muslim and christian weddings are over in half a day. thats it. i mean they start at 11 in the morning and by 4 everyone is home again. Hindu marriages on the other hand are a 3 day sloth fest and are an abominable waste of money and time. I remember when my sister got married we had sumangali prarthanai, maplai azhaippu, kasi yatra, oonjal, thaali, metti, grahapravesam, nalangu and reception!! Phew!!! by the time it was over we were all so tired that for a week after her wedding, i remember we just slept and rejuvenated ourselves. I think everyone should just run away and get married. Would make things so much more easier

· One of my friends got over enthusiastic during the wedding and put the hair iron (the one which straightens your hair) on my hair and now i have some 10-15 strands on the right hand side of my head which refuse to curl and are just standing upright and it looks kinda sad coz i have super curly hair otherwise and these strands really stand out

· So (sigh) a couple of my friends (sigh) are going to the himalayas (sigh). and i cant go(sigh) because i have office and (sigh) some other crappy exams too (sigh)
oh BTW if you hadnt guessed yet i really really really want to go(sigh)

· have finished reading all of Rohinton Mistry's books. I liked them all but none even come close to fine balance. Wondering what author i should start off with next. Any suggestions? How does Amitav Ghosh write? Should find out and buy him next. Will settle for good ol' PGW or RKN this month though. finances are really poor and i really dont think i can afford to buy Amitav Ghosh or any book now. I have also been trying to get my hands on Out of Iran by Sousan Azadi suggested by a friend. I also finished reading Midnight’s children and maybe I am just shallow or maybe I don’t have the taste for Rushdie kind of writing. The book bored me to death.

Ahhhh!! It is 9.15. time to call the on site and get my requirements clarified!! Sigh!! Adios!!