I can’t believe the time has come. The hostel farewell is over, the college farewell is two days away, and my final review is over (phew! finally.thank god) and people are already talking about study hols and their plans after exams. I have filled a zillion slam books till now. each of these incidents in some small ways are reminding me that my time is up. my college days have come to an end. soon I must face a world where I must behave in a responsible manner I must fend for myself where I cannot sleep till 12.00 in the afternoon and sleep at 3.00 in the night. Never thought I would be this senti about leaving college.
When I was in tenth I just couldn’t wait to go to high school go to a new place (Jamnagar to Chennai) make new friends. I was apprehensive but excited. when I was in high school I couldn’t wait to get to college, go to hostel meet people from different places and have a taste of freedom. at all these times I was completely ready for the next step. but now as I stand as a final year student who in a few months must go to work handle deadlines, work pressure (or whatever it is that working people have to face. I have no idea.) I suddenly realize that I don’t want to do all this. I want to stay as a college student forever and ever. It is also the thought of the future that scares the shit outta me.
It’s funny how everyone in my house seems to know what I must do after I graduate except me. mom says "since CTS is going to call u only in November u should probably do something else before that maybe join a language course or work somewhere else". other well wishers say "no no must consider the six month break given by cognizant as a boon and prepare for CAT and other entrance exams". my sister says "just while away six months of ur time before u join CTS. eat well sleep well and take care of urself.you will never get these days again with ur parents". after everyone has finished advising I m absolutely clueless about what to do. my sister's suggestion attracted me the most but that would mean staying in Jamnagar. I would more easily go to a concentration camp than go to that retirement home a.k.a Jamnagar.
It’s an absolutely dead city with nothing to do. I call it a retirement home because that’s what it is. u can go for long walks in the morning, u can listen to bhajans in the evening in the temple, u can gossip with neighbors about their sons and daughters and husbands and their promotion, u can join yoga and reiki classes to find inner peace(yada yada!!bull shit). but if u want to watch a movie u must travel 35 kms to reach the nearest theatre. if u want to go shopping u must plan an expedition(the kon tiki expedition would have been easier). because shopping means traveling another 40 kms into the main city of Jamnagar on roads which have twenty five take diversions boards on a 10m km stretch and which has craters not unlike the ones seen on the moon. if u don’t get backache,spondalitis, trachoma(yeah Jamnagar is a desert and traveling on that road with dust flying at the rate of zillion particles per second u r bound
to get dust allergy or trachoma,I know the term because I suffered from it during my stay in Jamnagar:() etc then u must either be super man, or mukesh ambani(yeah!!the dude comes by helicopter from Jamnagar)..I can’t stay there for a fortnight without losing my sanity and six months at this age is an indefinite period of time. so it must be Chennai after about a months stay in Jamnagar(can’t help it if ur parents stay there).
But what do I do after coming to chennai.i don’t want to work, I don’t to join language classes, I don’t know if I want to do an MBA right away and if I don’t do any of the above I will be shipped to Jamnagar..:( I am so confused now that I don’t want to leave college’s don’t want to leave this bliss these times of fun, no tensions, etc.
I flicked the following poem from somewhere and it describes perfectly what I feel now..
So many battles won on this soil
So many defeats embraced
So many desires fulfilled here
So many painful heartbreaks
So many friends I won here
I won a few foes too
So may blessings I did earn
Hope the curses were but few
From a teenager I became a man
Nowhere else but here
Saw life’s pleasures, felt its pains
Suffered losses and enjoyed gains
Now its time to say good-bye
To this place to its bliss
Tears of love roll down each cheek
As I plant the farewell kiss
Adieu sweet times, Adieu sweet place
I m going to miss my life here, I am going to miss all my friends, I am going to miss the hostel dog(ganguly), I am going to miss mess food(yeah!!i think I have totally lost it),I am going to miss all those midnight birthday parties, miss the culturals,the symposium, and miss those night outs before the exams, those endless cups of tea, all those chat/gossip sessions which lasted through the night, miss teasing the professors.....
I could just keep going on...but I will just stop here. I am going o miss you SSN!!:(:(