Saturday, March 29, 2008

Disclaimer: The contents of this post are completely my thoughts. They haven’t been influenced by anyone. I am sorry if this post hurts anyone’s sentiments or if anyone thinks its contents are sacrilegious. My intention is not to hurt anyone.

I was a believer. A staunch believer. I used to make it a point to visit the temple at least twice a week, say a prayer daily, say a little prayer every time I passed a temple on the road. But somewhere in the past two years something has changed, some part of me has started asking some fundamental questions. In the past two years I have seen so much and experienced so many things that I have started asking some blasphemous questions. The past two years of my life have been relatively relaxed and as a part of college and also out of my personal interest I visited a couple of orphanages, old age homes, spastic societies to try and do my bit for the society.

The scenes which met my eyes when I went to these places were heart rendering and as I visited more such places I found it more and more difficult to believe that up there, there exists someone who is supposed to be looking after all of us, supposed to be doing justice, punishing the wrong and rewarding the right.

What wrong has 15 year old shabana done that she is “blessed” with the intelligence of a 3 year old, cannot wear clothes, cannot button up her dress, and cannot use the bathroom without someone helping her. What wrong has she done that while her peers talk of board exams, farewell parties and the latest trend in clothes she cannot even speak a coherent word let alone a sentence. She suffers from down syndrome.

What wrong has 67 year old patamma done that at the age of 67 though she has 2 sons and a daughter none of them want to keep her and have sent her to a depressing old age home where she gets a 5 feet by 3 feet space for herself, 2 sarees for diwali, one for new year and no visitors throughout the year though her children live in the same city.

What right has laloo Prasad yadav done that inspite of charges of embezzlement of so many funds, inspite of being such a corrupt politician he enjoys the status of a king?

What right has jagmohan dalmiya done that after misappropriating “just” 2 crores he gets bail and most probably will escape scot-free?

What kind of a justice system is this, where the innocent get punished and suffer more and the guilty enjoy a hassle less life? This is the justice system which is revered all over the world, accepted by one and all despite its horrendously screwed up laws and principles. The juctice system of God.

My grandmother tells me that every person who is suffering is actually repenting for the sins which he committed in his previous birth and every person who is happy and contented is reaping the benefits of the good things he did in his previous birth. What kind of a stupid, skewed system is this where u get punished for something but have no clue what you are getting punished for?

She says that this is the kalyugam and this is how god’s system works and that once evil has completely overshadowed the good, that is the time when god will descend in all his glory to take his last avatar and save the world from the evil. BullShit is all I can say. Even the most cruel person or a person with a heart of stone would melt if he saw the likes of shabana and patamma and we are talking about God here. The compassionate and considerate do gooder who cares for nothing but the “well being” of his children. If he does exist and is looking at all the pain and suffering and not doing a thing when he has the power to change all of this, then I cant believe we trust and pin our hopes on a person like this who just likes to look at all this suffering and not act. I would rather build temples and worship the person who started the old age home where patamma lives or the people who started Banyan the home for destitute and mentally ill women. My blood boils when I see people drop obscene amounts of money into the hundis in temples, some of which goes to decorate the idol of god and most of which goes god knows where.
I am confused and hurt when I think of the fact that something which I believed in for 20 years of my life is actually a farce.

I was a believer, a staunch believer, then I became agnostic and now I find myself tending towards atheism.


>>Jass said...

Well not for social reasons but somehow i am sorta confused about this god concept for life. I think I am agnostic but I do find refuge in god at times , that maybe more of a convention or maybe mechanical but i really dunno, wel i guess i m trying to stop thinking about it. Just live life as it comes , thats what life is all about, living it, experience the vagarities, the extremities of life...

p.s: I am blabbering again, please ignore if you found that err offensive/derogatory/I-DUNNO

God exists or not thats not a question that i can answer cos it is either beyond me or something i really dont know

Arun said...

whoa heavy ! quite a departure from yer usual posts ! hmm anything happened in particular to trigger this?! maybe you just oughta direct you know who to read this post and you'll be in...

Girish Nalgirkar said...

Its the 'FEAR' in minds of people that has given birth to the concept of devil and hence the rescuer is born, but all in imagination. Some dominants gave it a shape. I dont believe in God. He never exists for anyone. Human being is an animal at the first, a social, big brained so it has invented many luxuries for itself. All are born animals and die, there is no God, it never existed and there is nothing like Kaliyug.
All is farse taught to us by cowards. We live and abide by the rules of our own society and no god.

Kausikram Krishnasayee said...

rev, its just that up there he is a big time manager who divides his work amongst his i believe that instead questioning his existence, i might as well do my bit for the society.. a small part ...nut after all only drops make an ocean..

Anonymous said...

/What kind of a justice system is this, where the innocent get punished and suffer more and the guilty enjoy a hassle less life? /

I agree with you 100%. Sometime I wonder there is GOD out there. You brought out so many good points in this post. I enjoyed reading it. Excellent job.



Hi.. Good post.. I go to the temple daily and from a personal point of view a lot of things have taken place immediately after I have prayed.. My view is if you are sincere and go about your job methodically good stuff will happen independent of the almighty...

AM I A HINDU? Best Seller said...

What kind of a justice system is this, where the innocent get punished and suffer more and the guilty enjoy a hassle less life?

Revathi, what you wrote is very very profound and thought provoking. Unluckily, there are no LOGICAL answers.

Millions have thought and still think about the same questions.

It was ineed questions like this made me to write the book AM I A HINDU?

In the very popular best seller, When Bad Things Happen to Good People, Rabbi Harold S. Kushner asks the same question.

His answer is God is a witness in the affairs of the human beings and not a part taker.

In Bhagavad Gita Krishna said, “I do not accept anyone’s Punya or Papa. People are deluded to believe other wise.”

He also said that he creates the entire universe at the beginning of time out of his MAYA and at the end of time the whole universe merges in him.

According to him, you and I are lost in that MAYA [illusion].

Since we are part and parcel of that MAYA [illusion] we believe we are the PERISHABLE MATERAIL BODY instead of realizing we are the Atman or immortal soul within.

As long as we DO NOT realize that we are the IMMORTAL SOUL within, we will have DUALITY PERCEPTION & we will be tormented by GOOD & BAD, HOT & COLD etc

So what is the answer.

Please do not get lost worrying about right and wrong.

Instead as Aurbindo taught, try to find out the immortal soul with in and obey its commands through meditation, etc.

Religions are mere aids and not the final goal.

One can even become atheist and still finally realize truth.

No religion or culture can monopolize truth. When some matures spiritually, the TRUTH will dawn on them.

Like a glutton worn which eats 6 to 7 times its weight in green leaves, one day becoming a beautiful butterfly drinking nectar alone, a person who is totally lost in material desires will one day become a realized person who sees no difference in good and bad & right and wrong.

That realized person may even come in a three piece suit or in a fancy dress.

Dinesh said...

I've asked myself these questions quite often and over the last year or so I've read up quite a bit on the subject.

At the end of it, I see God as a creator. I see God as consciousness. I see God as nature. I see God as gravity, electricity and magnetism. What I don't see God as however is as a judge who punishes evil and rewards good deeds. Good and Bad are relative anyway. Eating a chicken could be matter of fact to one person and cruelty to animals to another. Does God punish Non Vegetarians? :-). I don't think so.

Don't look to God as a savior and a judge. It makes things simpler. Appreciate the wonder of life and consciousness.

Dinesh said...

Another thing I've pondered on often: Am I an eternal soul in a mortal body as stated by the Gita or am I the collective consciousness of billions of cells?

If you look at yourself, you are nothing but a collection of billions of cells which are in turn made of molecules and in turn atoms and so on. Why would these atoms want to come together to make you?

I see a sort of pattern where smaller things come together to make something bigger.

Maybe we humans, animals, insects, plants in fact every living and non living entity are working together for something bigger just by living our lives. Its just that we don't know what that bigger is :-)

>>Jass said...

@am i a hindu:

Nice perspective there, but what is the truth? I mean i dont get it, whats this imomrtal soul realization?


Thats a nice answer there, I ve come to this conclusion but probably have not been able to realize this cos you know thoughts keep changing. But hey what happens to religion, is that like just another concept that grew with time and now its time for expiry?

Jaya S said...

I find myself questioning the whole purpose of life. Everytime we see something unpleasant, we are quick to criticise, but we don't always remember to thank God for what we're given. Scriptures say we are just a part of the cosmic energy, waiting to get back in harmony with the Maker, and that is why we have to be reborn over and over again. Why this life at all? I think all of us tend to lose faith when we try to justify's just not so simple.

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Anonymous said...

Sad to hear that u were a believer once? By the way, what did u believe?
We all ve questioned like the way u did...but still a clay pot doesn't complain about its maker.We r like a clay in the hands of our maker...
Can u say how many neurons of urs were working when u wrote this post????
Keep questioning.. may be, u ve just started...

Anonymous said...

Now that u ve started questioning, u will find the answers soon...
Whoever searches the truth will find it!!

Prashanth said...

If I could tell you some thing, its like blaming Vishwanath Anand for Indian hockey team's dismal performance. Lets take the case of "Pattammal" in ur post. Her sons/daughters have left her in the old age home... which u gotto blame on those sick beings! What should God do abt it?

It is some times really sad that we do not confer upon the glory to God for all the good things happening arnd. Think about it. There are millions and millions of good things happening in this world. And for each one, you hold a human responsible. The minute you see some thing wrong... you hold God responsible. If you could justify this attitude of human.

God is like a sign board... he can only show you what you get along the path that YOU have chosen to travel.