I have been wanting to write mega serials part II for quite a long time but I was waiting for an auspicious time. In short I was waiting for pari (ignorant ppl read THIS) to die so I could write part II.. but the 40th and last day has been stretching for the past three weeks and I just don’t have any patience. The way she is going, it looks like she might even outlive me. So rather than waiting I have decided to go ahead with part II.
Like i already mentioned in part I this pari’s relatives believe in this baba guy (though I feel ashamed to admit it I have been watching these serials with my sis. But I can justify myself saying that I was doing ground work for part II :):)) who tells them that pari is destined to die on the 10th 20th 30th and 40th day after her marriage by water fire land and air respectively. Each of these elements would have nothing better to do for the next 40 days except for plotting against pari. Actually if I had been in their place even I would have used all my powers to put an end to her on the first day itself.
Anyway so her husband (the bastard who is now changing for the good by the way) is also plotting against her. But as 40 days pass he realizes what a sweet, nice and extremely aacharamana (gag gag!!puke puke) girl she is. So now he is falling in love with her. I can even take the falling in love part. The part which absolutely had me bugged was that each time they feel “love ” for each other (which they feel when they do extremely stupid and mundane things like drinking coffee, walking down the stairs, going down the lift etc) there is a song in the background and both of them go into dream land with her dupatta flying on his face and he standing and enjoying the feel of the dupatta on his face (his dream) or him standing like an expressionless blob of flesh with her running around him(her dream) singing “itne hum kareeb aa gaye..dil ko tho pata bhi na chala ..naa chala..naaaaaaa chala..naa-aa-aaa-aaaaa chala and so on so forth till the director is able to successfully convert a three second coming down the lift into a twenty minute part with two breaks in between.
So as time passes bastard slowly falls in love with her and as expected falls out of love with his original girl friend(who is always dressed in jeans a t-shirt and is called ishika(obviously if she were called sita,tulsi,pari our bastard would still be in love with her)) finally on the 40th day he takes her out somewhere to spend the full day with her and tell her how much he loves and they spend the full day doing things which please her like eating kulfi from a road side kulfi shop where she very conveniently drops her kulfi and shares his kulfi thereby making both of them go into dreamland(another 20 minutes) and then drinking some disgusting chai in some road side shope.
Now this is one more thing I don’t understand. In all these kinds of serials without exception the lady in the lead always likes tacky things and dingy places and always says stuff like “platform ke kulfi ke dunkanon mein kulfi khaane ki baat hi kuch aur hai. Baskin robbins ke ice cream mein who swaad kahan jo inmein hai” and then they will take a huge bite of the kulfi and go mmmmmmmmmmmmm... Gimme a break. Whats wrong if u like the good things in life. If u prefer eating the heavenly masala dosai at hotel saravana bhavan and not parotta paya in the kaiyendhi bhavans. Whats wrong if u like eating ice creams at baskin robbins or creamy inn and do not prefer to eat road road side ice lollies where the ice could be water from the cooum in the frozen form. And the worst part is that the heroines eating in such places is found endearing by the heroes. Puhleaseeeeee!!
Anyway so after a full day of doing disgusting things like sitting beside a fountain and discussing how pari can be so saint like and playing with unwilling children they check into a hotel room and bastard (who is absolutely smitten with pari now) asks her to wait down in the reception and goes up for sometime and then comes down and they go up by lift (and reach the third floor after 20 mins while they hold hands, giggle and go into dreamland)..well before I narrate the scenes that followed kindly read the following
Definition in oxford English dictionary:
New definition in my dictionary
All scenes in mega serials when the man and his lady love are left together..
Seriously the scenes which followed could have gone down in the history as few of the corniest scenes ever. Anyway as soon as pari opens the lift door she finds a huge heart made of flowers (not unlike the ones seen in wedding which proclaim X weds Y) and in the centre is written “I Love u pari” and the hotel corridor is strewn with rose flowers (pulled mercilessly out of some poor beautiful looking rose no doubt) and pari puts on a pained expression (the kind I have seen people with severe constipation portray). Its only after a while that I realize that its not a pained expression but is a look of romance. Sigh!!
And after she enters the room there is a huge heart of flowers on the bed on which is written I love u pari again (really creative guy I must say. Man!! Can’t he think of anything else other than “I love u pari” to say to the woman he loves???) and then on the side table is a yummy chocolate cake with the icing (u guessed it right!!) “I love u pari”!!!!
Pari is beyond help now and must use the loo(that’s pretty much the look on her face) and she decides she must use the lift go down and buy bastard some gift and surprise him (and give him constipation in return). She goes to use the lift (which has a sign in big bold letters which says “lift not working”. But I guess she is so used to seeing “I love u pari” that she probably thinks that the writing next to the lift is also “I love you pari” or maybe she is illiterate. Whatever!!) and this time the director decides to be creative and rather than using the lift scene for dreamy songs pari meets with an accident (finally!!there is a god after all!!) and then the next twenty mins are devoted to the accident and bastard running down the stairs like a madman to rescue his lady love. Finally he meets her on the ground floor with a gash on her head which is bleeding which is the only damage and for which she is admitted to a hospital kept in an ICU and the doctors (a few creeps paid to walk up and down and look busy) shake their heads and try to appear intelligent and say “very serious case. Bacchna mushkil hai. She is in coma”..
I have seen the serial only uptil now and though I would love to write part III I really don’t think I have the patience to watch that shit again for another two weeks. And oh by the way what I have written in this blog are about 13-14 episodes.
So with a heavy heart I must say that this is the concluding part of this series unless someone is willing to watch it and give me inputs ;).. any volunteers???:D:D