Thursday, August 21, 2008

I suck!! :(

I cant talk to relatives. It gives me the heebie jeebies. With friends I am in my element. I can talk about that latest PGW book or she can tell me about the cute guy in her office who has been giving her the looks or about the sad lunch in office or about where to go this weekend and which movie to watch or about the latest pepe jeans, 60%(GASP!!) off sale in adyar or soooooooooo many other things. I never run out of things to talk about when I m talking to friends. I may run out of time (mostly), energy (rarely), patience (hardly) but I never run out of ideas.

But what do u talk about to a person whom you meet once in 2 years. What do u ask about after u have finished talking to them about the weather in their country, the weather in your country, your work, their work, their college, their trip etc. though these might seem like a lot of topics to talk about talking about all of this takes exactly 2 minutes and 33 seconds

Them: So, how’s work Shruthi?

Me: Yeah!! Good!! *GRIN*(I cant tell them that the query I tried to run did everything but run. It crawled, it stumbled, it walked, it made me cry but didn’t run. I cant tell them that the guy at on site has a certain funny of speaking and ends each sentence with a sound which errr sounds like a release of gas and most of the times I am caught laughing like crazy when I ought to be listening seriously. I cant tell them any of this so I say good.) you?

Them: yeah good. (they again cant tell me about so many things primarily because I wont understand)

Me: *GRIN*

Them: hmm. So nice weather in India

Me: yeah. Rains. How is London?

Them: good good. It always rains there

Me: *GRIN*

See. Maybe I was exaggerating when I said it takes 2 mins and 33 seconds. It takes even less.

It was different and great when Preethi (my sis) was here. we had a deal. Preethi would do the talking and I would do the grinning. No two ways about it. only the questions which were addressed to me would be answered by me otherwise by default it would be her answering. It worked perfectly. I didn’t have to listen to complaints from home about how I never visited relatives and neither did I have to talk much when i went visiting. But now with Preethi in Dubai I have to do it all alone. I mean imagine having to do the grinning and talking all alone!! :(

I miss Preethi. She is amazing. She loves to talk. She can talk to ANYONE. There is never a lull in the conversation when she is talking. Most of the times I just google at her in amazement. I mean how can anyone talk so much so easily. She will talk to them about office, about home, about how she has been putting on weight (while happily munching the chocolates they bring) about how she still uses something which they bought her 4 years back (how does she even remember things like this??) etc etc.

Like a cousin of mine says “Preethi loves everyone and everyone loves Preethi. You can either love her or really really love her. No two ways about it” . Needless to say all my relatives love her and feel uncomfortable around me and I don’t blame them. Its an irony. She loves it when relatives come visiting and spends the better part of the year waiting for my uncles to visit. She is crying buckets now coz she is in dubai and cannot be in india to visit my relatives. I on the other hand don’t exactly look forward to their visits the way she does. Mind you, I love them and all that but I cant talk. I can grin, I can smile and I can nod in agreement and even make little grunting noises but I cant talk.

So yesterday before visiting a couple of relatives, I thought I would ask Preethi for some tips on how to talk and this was how the conversation went

Me(mailing her): Preeethi. Call!!

(Tring Tring)

Me: Hello

Preethi: hmmm. Bol. Kya hua?

Me: (almost hysterical) Preethi. Help!!! I am visiting ABC and XYZ today and I have no clue what to talk about. I am going alone, all ALONE. Help!!! come to india NOW!!

Preethi: Shut up Shruthi. Is this why u asked me to call? I cant believe I am wasting an international call on this. Shruthi. They are ur relatives. You have known them all ur life. They have done do much for us. Why cant you talk to them. You are insensitive and ungrateful and cold and sarcastic and..

Me: hey hey!! Easy on the praises ok? I didn’t call you to get a lecture from you on my character

Preethi: see. That’s your problem. you are sooooo sarcastic. I don’t understand you man. you can talk so easily to friends. It’s the same with relatives. I have seen, you always do this. On the phone you will give the phone to someone else and run away, you wont talk or give straight replies. Maybe you should stop writing blogs. that seems to fuel ur cynicism. Frankly shruthi, what is your problem?

Me: ok. How about we have the “Lets psychoanalyze Shruthi” class later? Can u help me out or not?

Preethi: you are impossible. I cannot talk to someone who is as stubborn and receptive as a 100 inch thick wall. I might as well talk to the nearest wall than talk to you

Me: Right!! Thanks for being so helpful

Preethi: oh. Don’t mention it!!

Me: bye

Preethi: bye!! HUMPH!! :-\

So I went yesterday and made a fool of myself and came back. :-\. Not my fault. My sister wasn’t helpful!!

If any of my relatives are reading this, I am sorry I am such a boring and frigid person and I am sorry you have to put up with me. I love you guys, but I cant talk!!


>>Jass<< said...

Me thinks its normal only. :)

Milinta said...

Gawd!! I can so relate to this man!!! I used to be so non-responsive that none of my relatives call me these days :D Its not that we cant stand them or anythin but WE CANT TALK :O
If you find a solution, lemme know man.. I so want to break this ice-lady image my relatives have of me. :( :(

Sheks said...

My younger sister and I are total contrasts...she is such a talkative chatterbox that my relatives advise me to pick cues from her on how to mingle with people.And I thought it is the senior family members who must inspire the juniors.Can't help it.Like Ganguly's exclusion from the ODI team,that's the way it is.

Jaya S said...

How on earth do you come up with these ideas? I could relate to quite a bit of it, but I think I'm beginning to open up now, and be able to make decent conversation with my relatives. Scary!

Arun said...

sigh could totally relate to this ! infact once this real close family friend of the family (whom I was meeting after god knows how many years) had to ask me :" hmm you dont talk much eh?" ! and I was going koff koff !

anu said...

//even make little grunting noises

Am sure u can do that real well...chuckle...woman!!!wait until u get married.Then u will find urself being able to jabber away at top speed to ur relative's and blinking and grinning and grunting at ur hubby's relatives...sigh!!!You will love ur relatives even more then...

N.V.Prashanth said...

This is so so so so true that I can vouch on my life! My cousin comes online and after ejjactly 3 sentences, I run searching for words!

Anonymous said...

ahem!! someone sure is coming clean.. :P all these revelations!!!
btw start makin fun of ur relatives.. U'll be surprised how time flies by.. :P

Vignesh said...

loved the post.... whenever someone comes home, ill just lock myself in the room, then
Amma-Vicky..come out @$##& uncle has come
(10min later)
Amma-vicky come out..
(30min later)
(after an hour) later ill go out to give that trademark ugly-forced-fake and embarrassing smile of mine!! GOD, I don wanna be there,:(I am soooo bad at it i can never fake a smile in front of those god-knows-who-relatives!... i just hate it!

Kausikram Krishnasayee said...

public demand ..preethi.. if you are reading this ..please gives us some nice lessons on how to talk...

ashwin said...

"I cant tell them that the query I tried to run did everything but run. It crawled, it stumbled, it walked, it made me cry but didn’t run."

:) good one. i don't know why but i always manage to see IT :)

Regarding talking , thats the only thing I can do perfectly .

Probably I can help you in having conversations with close relatives like your mom's uncle's son's maternal aunt's nephew :)

Keep posting

vijay said...

I mean imagine having to do the grinning and talking all alone!!.

Parthu yaravathu screw kazhanda casenu nenaika pooranga

Revathi said...

Jeez. if u think its normal i seriously need to do something abt it!! :P

now i know why we are such good friends. birds of a feather flock together!! :P:P

loved the cricket analogy!!! :D
Thanks for visiting.

how do i think?? hmmmm. well if ever u have realtives visiting and u become tongue tied in front of them or say something stupid you will know!! :P

ha ha ha ha!! you should have said "Man you are perceptive"!! :P

eeeeeeee. i am already very strongly anti marriage. dont make me more!! ;)

errrr. given me you think i dont do that?? 8-)

i can so understand!! ;)
Thanks for visiting!! :)

preeethi. please. scene podahdha!! :P

HELP please!! you can see the number of ppl who would benefit from this!! :)
Thanks for visiting!!

Anonymous said...

Hehe....the title left me thinking!! ;)

AKB said...

you cant talk???!!! haha... big joke..
but then, yes its true, we are mostly different when its with friends and relatives or even among them!!!!
even my mom has wondered how much I talk with others/friends but not with her!!! :P hehe...