Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Lets Meet!! *GROAN*

Nowadays I shudder every time I see the words “weekend plan”, “XYZ’s birthday – what plan” , “meet up”, “guys – what plans” on the subject line in my mails. Even something as harmless as “Hi guys” can send shivers down my spine.

These terror mails are mostly started by either Yellow or Aki the two people who constantly strive to keep our group together (which is a euphemistic way of saying they are pretty jobless. I know coz a coupla months back I was one of the few “striving to keep the group together”:P).

Don’t get me wrong. I love these guys. Honestly I have known them for so long that meeting them is always a pleasure but not when I have to read 73 mails (NO exaggeration. Check image). And even after reading 73 mails I am pretty clueless about the “meet”.

When I was working it was a different thing. I would check my mails 3 times every second and could delete mails faster than they were produced by my friends. But now with me checking mails just about twice during the day the amount of backlog I have is HUGE (as if backlogs in assignments weren’t enough) and at the end of the day there seems to be no consensus about the place, time, day date of the meet.

So though I get to know valuable facts like F had dosa with sauce for breakfast (ewwww) and that N is on a diet, which essentially means she will eat chocolates only twice a day instead of four times and that yellow’s manager has loud conversations on the phone and that A’s onsite coordinator appreciates her work (its very rare u see so she makes sure we all hear of it) and lots of other things, I am COMPLETELY clueless about the actual “Meet” which was the purpose of the mail.

So a frustrated me sits at 5 in the evening after my classes and patiently reads those mails trying to find out if ANY of those 73 mails even remotely talks about the meet. Nope!! Though there are a BUNCH of excuses given for not being able to come to the meet and other inane conversations no proper plans of a birthday surprise or a meet. Trust me it IS a pain when u go through EACH AND EVERY mail, when u click on each and every one of those 73 little tabs to find out what the other person has said and still remain as clueless as ever.

And following are the top excuses which are given by the “group” to not attend a meet.

1. I can’t come because I have to take a bath man. So you guys carry on.

(No shit. The person who has used this excuse has not only used it once but several times as a result of which we have stopped calling her for the meets. Cleanliness is before Friendliness apparently :P)

2. The sun is too hot on Sundays. I don’t like to come out on a Sunday.

LOL!! :D. This is my favorite excuse. And the rest of us would go, “eh??? Errr. Dude!! The same sun shines all through the week. How can it be any hotter or colder on Sunday. If anything it should probably take a break and shine less on Sunday”.. But this person can be excused because when the sun is not “too” hot she always makes it to the meet AND on time.

3. Hey I am on a diet. So if we go out we are BOUND to eat out and that’s bad for my diet. Please. This is my first sincere attempt at dieting (YAWN!!). Don’t spoil it. Why don’t you come over to my place?

The person who gives this excuse lives in one godforsaken corner of the city and reaching that place is like undertaking an expedition. So all of us politely back out!! :P.

4. My parents are sleeping. Someone has to lock the door if I leave. Sorry I can’t come. Gee. That’s seriously the lamest I have heard till date. Ermm.. How long would it take to drop a vessel in the kitchen, act like it was by mistake, wake a parent and ask them to lock the door?

5. I have to study for my mock CAT (*YAWWWWN!!*).

The person who uses this excuse would probably excel in CAT if they posed questions about sleeping patterns of humans and had average sleeping time as a criterion for admissions.

6. I have office.

Sometimes genuine but most frequently abused excuse. Used when you are actually lazy to go out and so call up a friend and say “office maaan!! Soo sorry” :P

7. It’s my mother in law’s birthday guys.

Sighhhhh!! No comments.

8. I have assignments.

The person giving this excuse is an extremely nice person who usually makes it for every meet so she can be excused :P

So these are some of the most commonly used/abused excuses. And FINALLY by the time we actually reach a consensus, decide on a date and time we realize that it’s Monday and we have effectively lost the weekend in mailing each other. (We quit calling each other long time ago when we realized that all of us are equally bad at picking up the phone and answering calls or talking sense for more than 28 seconds.)

Effectively by the end of the day we have a terribly bad strike rate. Out of 25 meets planned 3 materialize and only 1 has all of us together (in which everyone will forget to bring the camera so we don’t even have any proof of THAT one meet when we were all together.). Going by statistics the only times when we have succeeded in meeting without hearing any excuses from anyone were the times when someone got married. And that was in December of last year.

I think it’s time someone got married. It’s been quite long since I saw everyone together.

Lets meet!! :P

P.S: I am GLAD gmail shows all 73 mails as just one mail. Imagine having to open 73 different mails and delete them one by one. *Shudders uncontrollably*


Anonymous said...

:P :P

You got the Excuse No.1 wrong. It was 'I just took a bath and am drying my hair. So I can't come now.' And you also missed the most common reason of all times - I'm going home which is the very hep and happening Udangudi or Tirupur :D

And Veti,U've tactfully left out some of ur own masterpiece excuses as well.
9.00 AM : Girls tell me the time and place. I'll be there.
12 Noon : Girls.. err.. I have a feeling something urgent MIGHT come up at work.
2 PM: Shit man,I think I crashed something here. Don know if i can make it.
4 PM: I'm so so so so so sorry guys. Something terrible happened. I messed up big time (again!) Can't make it today :(

After all this build up, news reaches us that u were fast asleep at home after hogging paati's vethakozhambu and urulakelangu and not mitigating some catastrophic calamity at work :D

Idhelaam post la sollave maateengale! :P

P.S. Check ur mail veti. We've started a new thread :D I'm already feeling sorry for you.

Vinu said...

//Cleanliness is before're the reason for the coffee spilling on my shirt today! :D

Hilarious Post Revs...and hilarious comment by meltingmasks too :D

and 73 sounds really low...we had mails crossing 150-200 and then friends at onsite would log in that evening, and reply back patiently to each and every message ;)

You can't crib about that!!! :D

Rajlakshmi said...

My parents are sleeping. Someone has to lock the door if I leave. Sorry I can’t come -- hehehe that is some king od excuse :D so you guys actually mt o not :P

hey got an award an a tag waiting for you in y blog... please accept it :)

Antarman said...

good excuses !

poornemaa said...

thanks 4 making ur blog public agian! i am reading it after a very long time...keep rocking!:)

Revs said...

comment has been ignored by the author with a professional cough and a cold look!! :P
Naaaaaaaaaaaye! :D

Ha ha ha!! Whoa!! i AM lucky then!! :D
Thanks for visiting :)

interesting tag!!
and thank you soooooo much for tagging me :)

Thanks :)

Thanks so much :)

Balaji Srinivasan said...

// How long would it take to drop a vessel in the kitchen, act like it was by mistake, wake a parent and ask them to lock the door?

Last time I tried a similar idea, it achieved the intended purpose of waking the parents and having one of them lock the door. Sadly, they locked the door only to prevent me from running out while my a$% was mercilessly whipped :P