Saturday, May 17, 2008

Travails of house hunting - Part II

Well I promised a part II (read part I HERE) and here it is. ok!! u guys can stop saying "why oh why does she keep her promises and torture us with meanningless posts!! :P".

So where was I? Ah!! yes. Brokers. As we decided that we would definitely need a broker to help us, help poured in from all corners and we were flooded with the numbers of brokers all of whom were willing to show us “super houses in ‘dee-jent’ localities and very 'reasonable' rent”. These broker guys earn more than what we do and I have decided that the day I get completely bored of software and everything else that I have ever been interested in I will become a broker. I mean just look at the figures. If they are able to “sell” a good house to someone they get a months rent as broker fees. Now assuming the rent is 7000 (minimum) this guy gets 7000 bucks and just by selling 5 or even 4 houses a month he earns a cool tax free 28 to 30K a month. How cool is that? All u need is some marketing skills and a vehicle (sun screen if u r in chennai!! :P) and as we became experienced in dealing with brokers we began to understand how the minds of these guys work and I have complied a small dictionary of the lingo which these brokers use.

What they say :super house, very less rent, locality oooook
actual meaning: the house is great but you will have shop keepers, plumbers and electricians as neighbours and they only drink 5 times a week and beat their wives only when they are drunk

What they say : super house, super locality, rent ok.
actual meaning: the house is great, locality impeccable but u must give an arm and a leg for advance, an eye for the rent and the other arm as broker fees

What they say :central locality, right opposite to coffee day
actual meaning: next to coffee day there is a road, take the first left, third right then the second left and now if u hold a compass the north will point towards coffee day. Right behind na??

What they say : if the broker has a vehicle and says “only a little distance madam. I will come by vehicle. U can walk”
actual meaning: buy a water bottle, hiking shoes and be prepared to walk for 5 kms on winding roads while mr. broker drives his vehicle slowly ahead of u and keeps saying “idho vandhiruchu”

What they say :if the broker doesn’t have a vehicle and says “ayyo. Very far. Must take an auto”
actual meaning: the house is less than 200 metres away.

All these brokers have this amazing ability to portray the dingiest and dirtiest of houses as taj mahals and their marketing skills never fail to amaze me. I mean u do need some guts to call a house which smells worse than a public urinal, looks worse than vijaykanth’s and TR’s face put together as “super veedu”. And the best part is that when u tell them u r not interested they will look at u with a sad expression on their face saying “inniku pona nalaiku irrukadhu. Nalla veedu miss panareenga. Unglakku vendam na sollungo naraya customers waiting la irrukaanga” as if Bill clinton and APJ had wanted that house but the broker had said "No!! i will give it only to Revathi Ramanan!!". :-\

The result of all these skirmishes with brokers is that the cell phones of four young pretty girls (errr… us) which should ideally contain the numbers of cute looking guys now contains the numbers of 20 odd brokers all of whom are useless and haven’t succeeded in showing us a single decent place. Which means we are still house less so if any of u guys know of any good single bedroom houses in and around thiruvanmiyur and adyar area do drop in a comment. Errr. No. we wont pay u broker fees but you will be blessed by 4 young and pretty things (us again!! :P) that the day u start searching houses u should get one as soon as possible without the help of brokers!! ;)

12 comments:

Vignesh.r(edux) said...

Brokers... now they are a unique species, they look the same, speak the same way, and i think they even smell the same :).like the autowalas these guys are becoming the vicious facets of chennai.

Hey n we too are looking for a new House, if you find a super house in a super locality and very less rent, just ping be back.

And ill make sure the wishes of 8 beastly demons stay with you.:))

Anonymous said...

"You can have one room my 3 bedroom house...as long as you allow me to stay in one of the rooms...the kitchn and drawing rrom can be common...you will have a lot of privacy in your bedrooms of course...."

Heard in Dubai...when i went house searching...

But what crap...if you guys were looking for a house then you should have said so and we would have given you guys the house...and your sis would have been happy to leave all the stuff behind....and less tension for all of us

you know who this is

joel said...

Oh yes!! Can very well relate to this.... Season 1 of house hunting was over sometime last year and season 2 is jus gonna begin this year!
All the very best!

Anonymous said...

hahahah !!! :D
you seem to be quite enjoying these travails ;)
the hunting is fun...the kill eventually turns out to suck ,what?! :p
anyway, good luck !!!
- Arun

Karthik Subbaiah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karthik Subbaiah said...

And its Karthikeyan M S's comment time once again... :P:P:P

Comment for Travails of house hunting - Part 1 - All the basic requirements are so mutually exclusive, that it doesnt come as a surprise to me that you got an old dungen which has to be reached through a tunnel... Tough luck gal..
But yeah...some of the rents are simply outrageous. I recently saw an ad for a house for rent in Chennai. Rs.18000 pm for a 3BHK.. I was like do they have 3 bedrooms, 3 halls and 3 kitchens or is it the rent of 3 3BHK homes with a bad typo!!! Apparently it turned out to be an over ambitious land lord trying his lousy luck. Sigh!!

Comment for Travails of house hunting - Part II -
@Blog: Had a hearty laugh. I must say, whoever wrote "One's misery is another's joy" is GOD. :D /*Runs and hides inside the fridge(Its summer time)*/
@Rent for super house, super locality, rent ok - ROTFL!!
Ok now...Its deal time.
The day you call me 'Karthik', I shall show
a 3 BHK house for rent in Adyar with a rent of Rs.5750!! How cool is that!! Dee-jent locality, calm house owner, spacious house and obviously a jaw dropping rent! Deal ok va??

P.S. for Deal: I am not a professional broker and I am not even seeking the blessing for 4 roof-less souls.:D

The main P.S.: I have never had the revered oppurtunity to hunt for a house myself coz I have been living in this rented house for the past 19 years and have no plans to move out till I build my own house!!:D:D

Revathi said...

@vignesh
Et tu est brutus?? Even u are without a house??? Sad state of affairs what?? And yenglaukku ye veedu ku vazhiya kannom, idhula we oughta look for a house for u also is it?? Sigh!!! Thanks for visiting!! :)
@jiju
No man!! it isnt possible to live in ur house with ur wife continuously telling us to keep things clean and be tidy!! :P. Thanks for the offer and thanks for visiting!! :)
@joel
Hey thanks for visiting!! Good luck to u too!! :)
@arun
The hunting and the kill sucks if u ask me!! :(. Thanks man!!
@karthikeyan subbaih
Sigh!! you and ur helpful suggestions man!!! you just lost urself the blessings of 4 pretty girls. Sad eh??:P
Thanks for visiting karthikeyan!! :)

Jaya S said...

Poor you. I hope a genie pops out of the next soft drink bottle you open and grants you three wishes. Use them wisely. Jolly hunting!

alone in d crowds said...

call 9791167888

er.. that shall not help u land in a dejent apartment r odd, I was jus tryin 2 help wid ur 'ideal' case of cute lookin guys :P

p.s: me a stranger stumbled ur link in pravunplugged. so ignore dis if u feel like (not new 2 me :( ) n if ya dnt mind travellin a bit souther.. me can try somewher near madipakkam - shall certainly if me gonna be blessed wid '4 young n pretty things' around ma place

Revathi said...

@jaya
sigh!! a genie!!! how is it girl that everytime u leave a comment or write a blog u make me wistful??:P

@alone
errr. no comments!! :-\

RAJ said...

SINGLE BEDROOM FOR FOUR GIRLS. ARE U ALL THAT THIN.

Ragesh said...

lol! i read the "blessed by" as "blessed with" hee hee ROFL!