Tuesday, May 20, 2008

You have logged on to 100% bakwaas blog!! :P

DISCLAIMER: Read the rant below at your own risk. its utter bakwaas and nothing but bakwaas at its best. dont bang ur head at the table or curse me and all future generations of Ramanans after reading it!! :P

1. Last Friday when I had gone to the airport to drop my sister off I saw Mpumelelo Mbangwa (Yayy!! I got it right) standing right behind my sister and getting on the same flight as her. He is huge and has never washed his hair. His hair is disgusting to look at and he caught me looking at his hair and smiled at me thinking I was admiring his unconventional good looks. For the life of me I cannot understand how parents can take a new born baby look at it lovingly with happy tears in their eyes and name the cute l’il baby “mpumelelo”.!!! I mean would they have gone “Sigh!! such a cute baby!! lets name him Pume… I mean mpule…errr I mean mpumelelo”. I am sure even they wouldn’t have got his name right the first time. But like my friend says maybe he has the same things to say about my name though personally I think Revathi is much easier to pronounce than Mpumelelo!! Actually on second thoughts what an exotic name to have. what a great feeling when u realize that no one in this world shares ur name. sigh!! I guess I never will know what that feels like.

2. With my sister gone, I feel strange because I have no one to call and tell “I am bored. Chal koi movie chalte hai aaj raat ko” or calling her to say “sheeesh. U know what? Mere office mein ek ullu da patha hai jo…” or her calling me and telling me “aaj khana banane ka mood nahi hai. Chal punnu ka dhaaba chalte hai”. Now if I want to call her the thought that “damn it is 14 bucks per minute” remains at the back of my head. The leap from 40p to 14 bucks is a little unsettling and it will take some time to get used to that. Anyway I am getting used to it and I have been catching up on a lot of reading which I have always wanted to do but never found time because I had to chill with my sis

3. Its an amazing thing when u meet a friend of yours after 6 months and realize that NOTHING has changed and u resume talking to her as if u last spoke to her 10 minutes ago. Talking to a best friend, along with a huge glass of chocolate milkshake in a quiet corner of qwiky’s with the AC just right is the closest I have come to experiencing heaven. And heaven is when u tell her to put one straw in each nostril of hers, dip it into the chocolate milkshake and exhale (not inhale!! Otherwise u will die of chocolate milkshake asphyxiation) and admire the bubbles caused by the process and make a completel fool of ourselves in a decent establishment!! hmmmm please don’t use the straws which u put into ur nostrils to drink the milkshake. That’s GROSS!!! Did I hear someone say “yeah right!! Like the other stuff was very pleasant to read!!”. Humph!! :-\
Anyway the comfort levels I share with some people is amazing and I think I must have done a lot of good deeds in my previous births to have the kind of friends I have. Thanks guys!! :)

4. This weekend I went to higginbothams (with the same friend mentioned above) and had a whale of a time looking at, smelling and taking in the heady smell of all the books. I prefer higginbothams to odyssey/landmark because it is a place completely dedicated to books. Just books wherever u look. Not so with landmark and odyssey where if I turn right I can see random colors splashed haphazardly on a canvas under a section called modern art and when I turn left I see stuffed toys of all sizes and shapes. They seem to adulterate the place.

5. Chennai is becoming excruciatingly hot day by day. Its so bad that I actually look forward to come to office so I can spend some time in the AC. Can u believe that?? Looking forward to come to office. What IS wrong with me?? and with the mercury rising everyday and with the impending threat of being roofless I just hope we find a house soon. (don’t ask me what is the correlation between us being roofless and it being hot. :P)

6. I have a problem. I cant I just CANNOT be serious. However serious or grave the situation is, I find something to laugh at or something to be sarcastic about. This might be good and SEEM like an advantage but when people are talking seriously to u and u in turn crack some sad joke it seems rude and seems like u r making a mockery of the whole situation. like last week a friend of mine who is trying to woo this girl he likes, seriously wanted to know where he ought to take her for a date and I went “ha ha!! Take her to watch arasangam. Captain will be so revolting that you will look decent in relative comparison and she will say yes”. A second after I sent the message I was like “Sheeeeeeeesh!! How insensitive can u get Revs???”. Though my friend didn’t seem to mind I felt like a piece of shit. Sometimes in my attempt to be funny I think I unconsciously hurt people. I am sorry if you are one of them. I might seem like a person who steals hand bags from old ladies and pinches small kids hard when no one is looking (in short I might seem like a B**ch) but assure u I aint all that bad!! ;)

7. My parents are going to the US and UK for a three month trip and I am really really happy for them. I mean in the 26 years that they have been married, they haven’t had a single decent holiday (nope! I don’t count the annual visit to Chennai in the peak of summer every year till 2000 as holiday) mainly because either I would have malaria or Preethi would have typhoid or either one of us would be in 10th/12th or just about to join college or just finishing college or be home for the semester hols or shifting houses or something. They have sacrificed a helluva lot for the both of us and I am glad they are taking some time off now and going to have a ball without having the two of us to badger them. I would have loved to sponsor their US UK trip but the last I heard, 600 bucks (my bank balance) doesn’t buy to and fro tickets to the US!! :-\

8. The aunt of a very good friend of mine is admitted in appollo hospital in a very critical condition with serious head injury because she was run down by a guy on a bike. To all u guys who drive fast bikes, please be careful when u r turning and please respect those traffic signals. They have not been installed on all busy junctions to teach kids the difference between the colors red green and orange. They have a more serious purpose and a lot of people would appreciate it if u followed them. Anyway I hope she comes out of danger soon and gets well soon. She has two young children and I again find myself doubting the existence of god!!

9. Work is pretty relaxed now and I am getting lot of time to blog about inconsequential things and subjecting u to utter nonsense but u don’t have a choice but to read this crap. :P

10. If you are still reading, hats off to you. It either means you are mother Teresa or as jobless as I am!! :)


Kausikram Krishnasayee said...

yappadi!! i actually managed to go through all 10 :D. i am sort of disoriented because of it now ..let me take some rest and then come and complete the comment..

Kausikram Krishnasayee said...

hey and i so agree with the captain theory..infact am planning to watch the movie

Sheikhee said...

hahaha :) had jus done with the work n thought will jus browse thro ur post before heading home..Seeing Ur disclaimer n size of the post i was sure i wd lose interest midway but tat i managed to type a comment shud prove either ur post was not so boring or i have had a worser day..:P
hmm..tat reminds me i have to call ur mom today atleast.. chalo..byee


joel said...

yet another lovely post.... I like the way you relate things..."They have not been installed on all busy junctions to teach kids the difference between the colors red green and orange."... this one caught me the most!
Keep Writin!

>>Jass said...

1. For russians "Yevdokiya" [yeh-lee-zah-VYE-tah] is a more common and easy to pronounce name than "revathi ramanan".
Now I remember this being said by a certain someone over some discussion at a certain topcoder forums. Now in his example he might have used different names. I got this one by googling "russian names"
P.S: I m talking about yevdokiya not revathi ramanan

2.Awwww !! Aw le le le revs aw le le!!

3. Kitni stupid hai tu, revs.

4. Mmm ab yahaan kya likhoon... Okay chal "you suck" ,this should be good enough to fill anywhere...

5.I agree on this one! Meri brain to melt ho chuki hai. I mean thats how i lost it... :)

6.This is seriously a problem. Thoda sa serious ban ja ! Bitch to tu hai hi!
[oh public, public]
No no people She is may seem like a bitch par she is not really
[dekh tere liye jhoot bolna pada]

7.Nice thoughts par aakhir aa gayi na apni aukaat pe.

8.On a serious note, I sympathize with the aunty but what does god have to do with this?

9.Same here , I guess its obvious from this kind of a comment.

10.I am mother teresa? I thought I was male. Hmm.

P.S: Okay you can ignore the above 10 points. Nice post! Dil khol ke likha hai tune.. Par looks like you have unlimited bakwaas in there. Keep it coming :)

Milinta said...

Lol! I refrained from mentioning the 'Chocolate milkshake bubbles tip' in my post cuz i thought it was too gross... looks like nothin is gross enough for you!! :D

@ pt no.6 : are there still people in the world who would talk 'seriously' to u? i stopped doing that exactly 10 seconds after starting to talk to u.

And i really pity those ppl for whom u double up as agony aunt and advice monger. may their souls rest in peace now and forever!!!

Revathi said...

sheeesh!! onoda paer paatha odane nyabagam varadhu. i wanted to write about subbaiya's bajji also. slipped my mind. maybe in my next does of bakwaas i will include that. and u sat and read the whole post!! gee thanks!! (happy tears!!) :P

yeah u dog. call amma. :P.

thanks a lot man. glad u liked it!! :)

abey oye jassi ke bacche!!
namakool. mera hi blog mila tujhe apna kameenapan dikhaane ke liye!! :P
1. i cant believe u have been so jobless that to write a comment u had to google!! which either means u like me a lot (:P) or u were jobless. ab to tu maanega ki u were jobless
2. de ullu da patha in that point is u. aw le le le le jassi
3. haan stupid to hoon. tujhse baat jo karti hoon
4. ab mai kya kahoon. tu ullu da patha hai. this can be used anywhere as well.
5. we agree so no comments
6. hawwwww!! u used the bitch word in public. humph!! how cheap.
7. yeah u r right. meri aukaat US aur UK aur flights ki hi hai. teri aukaat jhompadpati ki hai
8. i hate being serious
9.you ALWAYS were jobless. i know that
10. u r neither mother teresa nor male. you are a chimpanzee which escaped from the zoo


CHUP!!! blessed are the souls who seek my advice and cursed are the souls who mock me!! :P and sigh!! yeah i wish everyone had as much sense as u do to not talk seriously to me!!
Thanks for visiting miiiiiiiiiiiiiii!! :)

Radhesh said...

Nice blog. I like the way you put forward ur thoughts. Count me as a regular visitor here :-)

Radhesh said...

Nice blog. I like the way you put forward ur thoughts. Count me as a regular visitor here :-)

Radhesh said...

Nice blog. I like the way you put forward ur thoughts. Count me as a regular visitor here :-)

>>Jass said...

*tapping foot on the ground*
Hmm , ramanan! maine itna lamba aur acha sa comment choda aur tune badle me kya diya?

Yeh sada sa silly sa comment?!

OOOO! Trying to poke fun at innocent little me eh?

1. I cant dodge this! Sab jaante hain ki mai jobless hoon...
2.Chi Chi Chi , Third person ka mazzak udate ho tum ramanans! Phir bhi I m glad mai hasane ke kaam to aaya.
3.Glad that ki tune accept kiya ki tu stupid hai.
*Pretend he dint read the other half of point 3*
6.Here let me say it again, read my lips. *Making animated lip movements indication a certain word which is censored*
7.Chey sau rupay me US aur UK ke sapne.
9.Refer point 1.
Waise how many chimpanzees you know read blogs and work for cognizant? I mean just generally asking.
*rolling eyes*

Revathi said...

have counted u as a regular visitor!! thrice!!!! :)
Thanks for visiting man!!


//Waise how many chimpanzees you know read blogs and work for cognizant?

Just one!! YOU!!!! :P

P.S: agar tu aisa full toss phekega to mai OBVIOUSLY sixer maroongi nalayak!! :)

Karthik Subbaiah said...

Did you say bakwas...Where is the bakwas?? The strength of bakwas needs to be a lot stronger to hit me a little harder!! :P:P

Actually... The fact that I reached here to comments explains my joblessness on a lousy sunday. :D Had a good laugh again.

@Mpumelelo Mbangwa - I wanna take revenge on my dad my naming his grandson so?? Whaddaya say? ;) Do you have to talk about names always.. sigh!! And about that hair style thing... I always wanted to do that hair-do; thala vaarardu micham!!

@Blowing the bubble thing: I always do that but through mouth and not exhaling through nostrils... should try that next time!! :D:D

@Chennai weather: From when did you start being such a boring person to talk about weather?? :P
On second thoughts... I pity you chennaites!! /I can smell something burning somewhere/

@Arasangam: How dare you talk bad of my thalaivan...the gap-tun...hahn?? He can floor even the most beautiful girl on planet earth by using a small aarathi thattu as bullet proof...you know!!

@Trafic signal thingie: Nice analogy. But then all accidents dont always happen coz guys miss traffic lights. It also happens because some morons talk on phone while driving, some keep talking to the person sitting behind and some simply day dream. Wish they understood the importance of LIFE!!

P.S.: If you are so jobless, do watch Tashan. Mujhe tumhari review padna hai us movie ki. And yeah... You can add Arasangam to the list too!!

P.P.S.: Somebody here seems to be working in a Court!! :D