Friday, May 30, 2008

Of relocating sisters and brothers in law

Ye gads. don’t ever give anyone elder sisters and even if u do give people elder sisters don’t get them married to men who get settled in countries other than India. Before u guys go "Sheesh here she goes again, being all senti about her sister going to Dubai" let me assure you that this is not a senti post. If my sister and BIL wish to settle down in Dubai they can do so by all means and I am no one to stop them. but over the last weekend I have been helping my sis clean out her house, pack everything and decide which stuff to send to Dubai and which stuff to leave here in Chennai, which to dispose of etc and god damn it!!! her house is like an akshya pathram (for the uninitiated the akshay pathram was a vessel which krishna gave draupadi, a vessel which would never run out of food and the emptier it became the fuller it really was). Well as I was saying her house is like akshay pathram. The more u empty it, the more u un earth. Archaeologists would have had an easier time unearthing the Harappa and Mohenjo-Daro civilizations compared to the stuff we unearthed at Preethi's place.

It was amazing how each and every shelf in her house had something and she has been married only for two years. She has 3 pressure cookers, some 100 odd pieces of crockery, 6-7 mud pots, a million small wall hangings, a thousand medium sized wall hangings, a hundred large wall hangings (all of which she packed to take to Dubai!! :-\) And the number of vessels she has!!!! Phew!! The whole continent of Australia could have used my sister’s vessels alone to cook and lead a comfortable life. I was left to worry that if my parents had given all the vessels to my sister, what WOULD be left to give me when I got married. :P. (ok!! I don’t want to hear anyone saying “given your sad cooking (s)kills you would do well to hunt food and eat raw meat rather than using vessels to cook”). Anyway she packed all the vessels she could lay her hands on, she packed all the curtains and even the curtain rods (which she later did not take after we told her that the person who would occupy the house next wouldn’t mind a little privacy and would appreciate it if we left the curtain rods for him to hang curtains on, she packed so many clothes that I decided it is only because of people like my sister that people like Pamela Anderson and mallika sherawat have nothing to wear. I mean what would poor mallika do if she discovered that every time she visited a shop my sister had reached ahead of her and bought everything in the entire shop? Poor thing. No wonder she wears only rags.

And worse was the way my sister wanted to take everything to Dubai. I mean she wanted to take the fridge, the washing machine, the cupboard and have them transported via cargo to Dubai. she would look at everything and go "Awwwwwwwwww, amma gave this to me when I got married" looking at the washing machine or "Paati gave that to me when I got married" looking at the fridge or "I can’t possibly leave this here and go. Our neighbors neighbors daughter in surat gave it to me when I got married" and my BIL would growl saying "Grrrrrr. your neighbors neighbors daughter gave u a mud pot. We get mud pots in Dubai. We are leaving it here and going. period" and then there would be a huge fight between them with Preethi wanting to take the "oh-so-beautiful-but-heavy idol of Shiva which my aunt gave" and the "I-hardly-use-it-but-I-have-emotional-attachments-to-it pressure cooker" (errr yeah. when Preethi was in class 9th amma wrote an essay for her on renewable sources of energy and she won the first prize in the whole of Gujarat state for that essay. and the prize was a 2 liter pressure cooker!! lol!! :D) and my BIL would patiently re-iterate the fact that Dubai was a moderately well developed place and that people there did not hunt for food or wear leaves for clothes and hence had seen and used a pressure cooker and would definitely have cookers in the markets.

My sister though refused to believe this and put the pressure cooker along with the gasket and the weight into her suitcase when my BIL wasn’t looking. Needless to say my BIL wasn’t very pleased when my sis had to pay something close to 3000 bucks on extra baggage at the airport.

A major part of the packing was done when my BIL was already away in Dubai and during the course of relocating my sister has thrown away everything my BIL considered important and retained everything she considers important and my BIL considers worthless. Now that they are alone I shudder to think of the sparks which will fly because my sister and BIL agree on nothing. And all these days I was the peacemaker when they decided to have a go at each other fighting over trivial things like “u left the wet towel on the bed” or “damn!! U used today’s newspaper clean the kitchen now what will I read?” and I would act peacemaker by reminding them of their love for each other more important than wet towels and dirty newspapers. Now in Dubai they will be alone doing all the unpacking and I am afraid the Dubai government will imprison them for excessive domestic violence and for meting out untold atrocities on each other.

Anyway now with my sister gone, though a part of me is feeling sad a major part of me is relieved that I don’t have to go through the whole “Preethi can I throw this throw this handle less coffee mug” and hear her go “noooooo!! I can use that to keep a money plant in the kitchen when I go to Dubai” routine. I guess like my mother she will keep accumulating things over a period of 20 years and I am sure one day my niece/ nephew will be writing about how their mother annoys them with her spring cleaning!!! ;)

21 comments:

Sheikhee said...

ahahahah :) yeah..she was so meticulous not to miss anything that she forgot to take a printout of visa papers :P

GoodEarth said...

Whoa, that was a sweeeeet post Revs!! (now dont ask me what was so sweet abt it :-))

//if my parents had given all the vessels to my sister, what WOULD be left to give me when I got married// Oh! YOU YOUU YOUUUUUUUUUU of all people....getting married!! Do you think any sane insaan will volunteer to do tie the knot round your disastrous neck?? he heee

im kinda beginning to admire/adore your sis.... she appears to be such a wonderful human being.... like me :-)

Divya said...

Hahahahahhaa.....awesome post shruthi. And well, i wish i had been there atleast one day of her packing and unpacking!!I missed the fun i guess!

Arun said...

hahahaha :D !!
how long is yer sister gonna spend in Dubai? surely more than 2 years ! and another encore performance I reckon?...akshaya patram redux ... perhaps yu'll get a free trip to dubai to help sort it out :p

Revathi said...

@sheikhee loose
lol. yeah!! hey maybe i should write a post about that!! thanks for reminding!! :)

@sowrangutan
hey you!! thanks for visiting and madam what is this?? not calling me names?? and that was a joke man. that was the place where u were supposed to go ha ha!! i am still as anti marriage as i was!!
Thanks for visiting sowrangutan!! :)
i will pretend i didnt read the last line! :P

@rowdyyyyyyyy
aieeeeeeeeee. we missed u on the last day man!! :)
Thanks for visiting!! :)

Revathi said...

@arun
hey!!! and free trip to dubai!!! sigh!!! i wish!! and i think she has learnt her lesson though i m not sure because i remember the last words she uttered on indain soil were "Dubai shopping festival!!". :D
Thanks for visiting!! :)

Sree said...

Just can't understand why all moms end up doing this "spring cleaning"...and that too generations after generations! :P
Awesome post Revs. Hilarious! :D

AG said...

are u also the same??? I think u may also end up doing the same things ur mother n sis do! ;)

Vignesh.r(edux) said...

Seriously I hope your sister would start blogging someday, and i am sure ur gonna pay a heavy prize for all that you have done do her ..lol:)..

Revathi said...

@sree
Hey!! nice to have u here too man!! and sigh!!! this disase is not going to stop EVER. it will just get passed on from one gen to another!! ;)
Thanks for visiting.

@ag
ah no!! i detest things. my ideal house would have one chair for me to sit and one tv for me to watch and one computer for me to write.lol.
Thanks for visiting!! :)

@Vignesh
She keeps threatening me saying the same thing. but i dont think it gonna happen ever!! ;)
Thanks for visiting!! :)

Kausikram Krishnasayee said...

revs:
veedu patacha? and yeah how many kilos of sambhar podi, parupu podi etc did your sister take?

Revathi said...

@budha
veedu paatachu.leaving adyar and moving to besant nagar pettai. caught a book fellow there also. will help his daughter get married next!! :P

P.S: grand sweets doesnt exist any longer. my sister bought the whole store!! :-\

Milinta said...

You make it sound all too tiresome Revs... Why is there no mention of the numerous bags and books and clothes you flicked from your sis on the pretext of cleaning up for her??? :P :P And why is there no mention of the 80 GB i-pod nano ur BIL bequeathed to you??? Now that the leg pulling is done, i'd like to also add that it was a great fun read as usual!! :-)

>>Jass said...

Typical revs istyle post! :)

[oh in case you are wondering, that was a compliment... :)]

மின்ன‌ல் said...

hi,
i too am elder sister ,my sis too is a darling like u helping me with all that i do...this is nothing...wait when she ll come back here pregnant....this help of urs only tip of the iceberg..

best younger sister of chennai?...

Karthik Subbaiah said...

First things first...
BIL sounds like the name of a cat...meowwwww... Jiju would sound so pious and respectful... Hope the "you-know-who-this-is" commenter has read this post and is on the prowl to get you!! :D

...and I would act peacemaker by reminding them of their love for each other more important than wet towels and dirty newspapers... - You and a peacemaker...very hard to believe. :P:P

Excerpts from comments section: Grand sweets doesnt exist any longer...lol..
80 GB iPod Nano...You gotta be kidding me.. :O
And veedu in besant nagar eh...finally the roofless souls get some roof to live under eh?? Oooh...Am I touching some sensitive topic?? :D:D

P.C.: Nice blog. Hilarious as usual. :)

P.C. = Post Comment

Revathi said...

@mi
duh-huh!!! would u rather prefer if i wrote stuff like "ooooh!! i love my elder sister and her BIL i worship them and bild temples in their name"!! :P
you know me man!! being nice!! thats one thing i am not capable of!!
Thanks for visiting

@jass
Yeah?? and since when did u start giving me compliments man??? ;)
Thanks anyway!! :)

@minnal a.k.a lightning
hey!! thanks for visiting man!! and i love doing stuff for her and yup!! i AM the bestest younger sister!! :)'

@karthikeyan MS
i had a visitor from dubai this morning. so i think "mr-meowwwwww" did visit!! ;)
and sigh!! why is it so hard for u guys to imagine me as mother teresa or peace maker?? i am such a saintly person. sigh!! om om om!! (errr. i dunno any other shloka other than this!!)
and 80 gb ila. 8 gb but an ipod nevertheless!! ;). and nope buddy!! aint roofless anymore!!! :D
Thanks for visiting man!! :)

Anonymous said...

Damn attention to wrong details i say...she has sent me a gift and god knows to which address...and doesnt have a tracking number..!!

Ashwin

Anonymous said...

Hello.....With reference to your earlier blog...wherin you had said...that "your sister and BIL feed you to the point of bursting"....you have contradicted yourselves by saying...that they dont even allow you to use the toothpaste....how nasty can people be....when we are around...you have nice things to say...and the month when both of us leave the country..and you get a ipod (one that you have been longing for)...you start saying nasty things....wow...kudos to the great sycophant in Revathi....

YOur BIL

Anonymous said...

Hello.....With reference to your earlier blog...wherin you had said...that "your sister and BIL feed you to the point of bursting"....you have contradicted yourselves by saying...that they dont even allow you to use the toothpaste....how nasty can people be....when we are around...you have nice things to say...and the month when both of us leave the country..and you get a ipod (one that you have been longing for)...you start saying nasty things....wow...kudos to the great sycophant in Revathi....

YOur BIL

Preeti said...

hey poor preethi. lets see how you attach yourself to each and everything after you (in case you) get married :)