DISCLAIMER:People who liked Vaaranam Aayiram please don’t read ahead. Sarcasm is something which comes naturally to me and I might have gone a little overboard with my sarcastic comments in the post below.
Gautam Menon. I have nothing against you wanting to tell your story. Everyone has a story to tell. I have nothing against you loving your dad so much that you want to make a movie out of it. I have nothing against the fact that all your life you called your father Daddy(uvvaacck!!), I have nothing against you wanting to cast Surya in your movie. But I have everything against you wanting to subject us to such colossal bull shit.
Surya!! whatever were u thinking? did Gautam Menon show u three scripts of three completely different movies and ask you to pick one? and did u say "No, I want a little bit of script 1, a little bit of script 2, some part of script 3 and a lot of skin show - by Me and not the actress!! heh heh!! Ah!! Now that would be a great movie" and did Gautam Menon nod his head docilely?
Simran, did you tell Gautham Menon, "listen I have looked gorgeous in all the movies I have acted so far so please give me a disgusting retro look for my young days with a bouffant hair style, pig tails and tight clothes. And oh no!! the women around me who are also supposed to have the 70s look can look modern and have fairly decent hair styles. Just spoil my look"
It was painful to see Simran, one of the prettiest and most versatile actresses given such a look. I think Gautham Menon just went overboard with the retro thing.
The sad part about the movie is that despite an absolutely brilliant performance from Surya and fairly decent performances from everyone else the movie sucks big time. Surya has done a mind blowing job, Simran takes the cake with her sensitive mother role, Divya Spandana is effervescent enough and Sameera Reddy does the sassy smart chick role well. but the end product is something which shocks you with its absurdity, It’s like this. You start making food. You see that the paruppu looks good, tomatoes look nice and red,chillies are nice and fresh, you have all the correct spices to make a perfectly good sambhar but what u finally get after three hours of playing around with all the good ingredients is an inedible bowl of something which you would like to call sambhar and which after tasting a euphemistic and polite person would go "Interesting. but one spoon is enough. Thank you" while a person like me would go "Bleaaaaaaaaaah!!" and spit it out.
The movie is a complete drag with no co-relation whatsoever between the various parts. It’s like this (Pardon all the food analogies but the only good part about the movie was all the good food which I ate). Someone gives u a nice hot masala dosai to eat with piping hot sambhar. you start eating it and u are just half way through it when someone suddenly snatches the plate and gives you cold ice cream. you are like "what the hell" but since you are a tolerant person you start eating the ice cream. you are half done with it when someone snatches that away too and gives u a cup of piping hot coffee instead. By this time you are completely pissed.
That in short is how the movie is like. three completely un related things thrust upon you with no common thread except Surya.
I dunno which aspect of the movie to talk about first. So I will start with the things which irritated me the most and move on to the things which were the most absurd
1. I am yet to see a middle class Tamil family in the 80s speak English at home and the father calling the mother darling. The overt usage of English was very irritating. Even when the father Surya was lying on his death bed, a poignant moment and a the kind of moment where every Indian would exult only in his/her mother tongue Simran says "Oh my god!! what happened?" and the daughter goes "you will be fine daddy, you will be fine". got on my nerves.
2. Ok maybe this is a pet peeve of mine but I can’t stand people calling their parents as "Mummy, Daddy". ewwwwwww!! I mean call them Amma and Appa (or whetever it is that u call them in ur mother tongue) and see what a difference it would make. In the entire movie Surya must have called his father Daddy a gazillion times and to me, each time it felt like someone was running a nail across a black board (shudders!!). So much so that at the end of the movie when the father Surya dies and son Surya goes "Daddy Daddy" someone in audience could no longer control his anger and said "Dei, Daddy Daddy nu sollu, Daddy body aaitar da. ippoyavdhu Appa sollu" :D. I couldn’t agree less
3. Yes Gautham Menon. We are all fools. And so are the people sitting at the US consulate office stamping the Visa. We completely believe that if u tell the Visa people "I don’t want to study, I don’t want to make money, I don’t care about your country, my 'girl' is there. thats why I want a visa" they will smile benevolently and give you the Visa!! Duh-huh!!
4. ok. I have heard of smart intelligent people doing engineering and scoring obscenely high marks (I was not one of them) but I am yet to hear someone say "I am expecting 99% marks. I am flat rank holder, city rank holder, state rank holder and AIR holder". Jeeeez!! Gautham Menon, couldn’t u have been a teeny weeny bit realistic?
5. Talking about realism, I have been employed for the past 2 years earning what people would call a modest salary, quite enough to lead a fairly luxurious existence but forget a house, I don’t have enough money to own even a square feet of land and this unemployed guy who has arrears in his final year of engineering builds a house for his dad, clears all his debts and even gets enough money to fly to the US and woo the girl he loves. BAH!!
6. The MOST responsible and nicest parents (which is what the Krishnans are shown as) will not know that their son does drugs till he reaches the point of no return and as soon as they "think" he has recovered (oh they don’t even send him to a rehab. they just shut him in a room and let him scream. Really responsible I must say) they will send him on a holiday to some unknown place to "discover" himself. Really Gautham Menon. I think this is where I had tears in my eyes and wondered how much more you could insult our intelligence.
7.I think I am just going quit the IT industry and become a vagabond and work undercover as a pimp and sell women. Trust me it’s the easiest way to catch crooks. Pose as a pimp and every criminal in any place will at once believe the fact that u r a criminal and lead you to THE guy who does child trafficking and sells women just like that. Very easy. Really
8. The movie is also an insult to the intelligence and infrastructure possessed by all criminals. Tell me one terrorist organization or criminal gang which fights with swords and daggers?? :-. I am glad they didn’t show the criminals carrying a bag of stones and using that to pelt the good guys!! :-\
9. Most women (MOST) would go into hysterics and cry if they heard their husband was going to die. When the doctor tells Simran that Surya would die of cancer she tell him "Uh oh!! I thought he would die of heart attack. Didn’t expect cancer". LOL!! the dialogue writer sure had a great sense of humor!! :D
10. Most women (MOST) would either sit next to their husband's body or cry their eyes out after he is dead. Simran on the other hand sits inside a room sending an SMS to someone while everyone is in the hall crying for her dead husband. A scene which was supposed to be a poignant one became a laugh riot. :D
Finally I can’t fathom why the movie was called thousand elephants. I can think of the following reasons
a. Surya said "Daddy" 1000 times?
b. You would prefer to be crushed to death by 1000 elephants than watch this movie?
c. The movie had a net total of 1000 Tamil words?
d. I can give you 1000 reasons why you shouldn’t watch this movie??
Being sarcastic you say?? All I can say is BAH!!!
Do yourself a favor, DONT watch the movie. I went with high expectations and came back thoroughly disappointed. And if you have already watched it Sigh!!! what can I say!! God Bless You!! :P